I admit it, I have no idea how to bet this game.
You know the
Alec Baldiwin scene in Glengary Glenn Ross? Of course you do. But that part where he's like "Oh, yeah, I used to be a salesman, it's a tough racket," that's me with football. Once upon a time I knew things about football (sips whiskey), once upon a time.
Since basically abandoning the NFL a couple of years ago (I honestly kind of find it boring now, which I'm sure makes me a communist, but I've been called worse), I only bet it occasionally and watch it very little.
That said, I have watched a lot of these playoffs, and in small bets I've done OK—although I missed on Denver/NE, which is part of my hesitation here.
I have two problems with this game.
First, I don't believe in Denver at all. I saw them to end the season, I saw them in the playoffs and honestly, their offense looks awful to me. It looks like typical Peyton in the playoffs, a team that should put up 20+ but that struggles to get to 13 without help. My only hesitation about backing NE against them was the home field advantage factor and, truly, I feel like NE lost that game as much as the Broncos won it. So how do you back Denver here? Which leads to problem number two.
Problem number two is that I not only hate the Broncos, but I don't like Peyton Manning in part because he continually finds a way to fuck me. I bet on him, he loses, I bet against him he wins. So while I would like to bet Carolina here, the number went in the opposite direction that I expected which takes a ton of value from them, and I'm kind of gunshy on the Donks.
The straight-up handicapper in me says to take the six, also probably tease the six with the over. But then I'm involved with that goddman bobblehead of a neck injury again and I don't know if Joe's heart can take that.
But objectively I think Cam is on a mission, I think their defense is at the top of their game and probably feels slighted by Denver's D getting all the love right now. I also don't like Denver relying on a running game with running backs who don't impress me.
I kind of can't remember a time when I didn't know which side to go with in a Super Bowl. Hold me, Take, just hold me.