Week 10 (11/1-11/3) CFB Picks and News

RJ Esq

Prick Since 1974
2004-2005
No Records Kept

2005-2006 CFB Record
77-71 (52.04%), +2.2 units

2006-2007 CFB Record
70-48-3 (57.85%), +46.63 units (Behold the power of CTG)

2007-08 CFB Record
44-43 (50.57%) -27.24 units

-----------------------

Getting the hang of things now, lol. Went 4-5, -5 units or so. Better than the week before, at least. Very bad October. Here is to November and different motivations.

All plays are for $400 unless otherwise stated (no "one of my biggest plays of the year" bullshit).

Plays
Bama +7 (+105)
Michigan -4 (-110) Push
ASU +7 (+106)
Florida St +7 (-110)
UCF -14 (-110) W
Army/AFA over 45 (-110) L
Oregon St +17 (-110)
 
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Kansas With a "But..."

Posted Oct 27th 2007 11:58PM by Charles Rich
Filed under: Kansas Football, Big 12, Texas A&M Football
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The Jayhawks went to 8-0 this evening with a 19-11 victory over Texas A&M in College Station. Something that still holds meaning even if A&M's coach is a lame duck, and the Aggies have been completely erratic this season. It's the first time that Kansas has started the season 8-0 in almost 100 years. That makes this a great and historic season for Kansas.

The thing is, that with Kansas' schedule there is an obligatory "but" that seems to follow anything regarding Kansas. "But" they haven't really played anyone. "But" the Big 12 North is very weak. "But" they don't even have Texas and Oklahoma on the schedule this year.

But, but, but. As Brian Grummell pointed out last week, the Jayhawks won't be taken seriously until they get to the end of the season. After they play Oklahoma St., Missouri and maybe the Big 12 Championship game.

There's no big star that carries the team. Just lots of good pieces that are all playing well together. A team that is being coached very well by Mark Mangino.
 
Virginia's Luck Finally Runs Out

Posted Oct 27th 2007 9:54PM by Charles Rich
Filed under: NC State Football, Virginia Football, ACC
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While Virginia was riding a 7 game winning streak, there were a multitude of reasons to hesitate to take them seriously. Starting with the opening day humiliation to Wyoming, through winning the last 3 games by 4 points. The Hoos never looked like a top team in the ACC. Still, they were (see SMQ, for a very plausible theory on that). They were 4-0 in the conference and always staying close in an entire game before finally pulling it out at the end.

It looked like a similar story in Raleigh to play NC State. For three quarters, Virginia trailed, but never by too much. They were usually within a single score of tying or taking the lead. That's just what they did early in the 4th quarter. Virginia's QB Jameel Sewell was having statistically one of his best games with a career high in passing yards (260) and nearly 300 total yards along with two TDs. Virginia took a 24-23 lead when Mikell Simpson took the ball in for a score.

NC State, however, continued to exploit a poor Virginia pass defense. QB Dan Evans kept tossing it up to Donald Bowens who piled up 202 receiving yards and 2 TDs, including a 30-yard catch to give NC State the lead once more, 29-24.

The Virginia luck ran out shortly after that, when Sewell left the game with a leg injury. After that, the Virginia offense completely stalled. Nothing. The Cavs went 3 and out on their next series. Then back-up QB Peter Lalich was sacked 3 times in their final series to end their chances.
 
Postgame React: Nebraska

by HornsFan Sat Oct 27, 2007 at 09:34:42 PM EDT

The outcome was: <ins>Amusing.</ins> What a freaking rollercoaster, right? Texas was unwatchable for three quarters, and then, suddenly, buried Nebraska with 200+ yards of rushing in one quarter. We'll certainly get into why it took so long to do what everyone but Greg Davis realized you do to beat Nebraska: run the football.
The Offensive MVP was: <ins>Jamaal Charles.</ins> Like I gotta tell you.
The Defensive MVP was: <ins>Brian Orakpo.</ins> He was hell on wheels today, making all sorts of disruptive plays. A great performance from a great player.
The offensive Offensive Player Of The Week was: <ins>Greg Davis.</ins> Right up until John Chiles was forced into the game and Davis realized that - surprise, surprise - running the football against Nebraska was there for the taking, the 'Horns were mired in one of the most embarassing offensive performances of the Greg Davis era. And that's saying something.
I know it's hard to hate on Colt McCoy, and believe me, I admire the kid for his toughness, his fight, and his willingness to do anything and everything he can to help this team win. But this offense is dysfunctional when it's centered around McCoy the passer as a primary threat. And though he's an effective enough scrambler, and a gutty enough rusher, he's having a hell of a tough season. The offensive line hasn't helped. Greg Davis definitely hasn't helped. And McCoy himself has just not thrown the ball effectively.
Colt will have his good games. Even some great games. But I think that we're seeing there's a ceiling for this offense with him as the quarterback. I guess we can leave him in there, start running more zone read, and see how far he can go, but it's sure starting to seem like we might want to consider just going with what we know this offense can do well - zone read offense with a real athlete at quarterback.
[Also, the very fact that we're having the same conversation every other week should be a sign of the limitations in question. Whether it's Colt's fault, Greg Davis' fault, the offensive line's fault, the lack of a legitimate vertical passing threat, or some combination therein (ding ding ding), the one thing that's been consistent is that this offense isn't taking any meaningful steps forward.]
The offensive Defensive Player Of The Week was: <ins>Ishie Oduegwu.</ins> Ishie struggled today with his assignments, but I'm not gonna lose even a wink of sleep over it. As has been noted, we need to be playing for 2008 here. Ishie won't learn from mistakes when he's not playing. Like Deon Beasley, growing pains are expected, acceptable, and - given the stakes right now - preferable to playing a senior veteran who might get us a Holiday Bowl (instead of Alamo Bowl) berth.
John Chiles Watch: <ins>1 play. Which changed everyhing.</ins> Frankly, I'm not sure why we didn't stick with him. Hey - if Texas finds itself playing a team which can shut down the zone read, then maybe going with Colt is the best option. Today? It was all about moving the ball on the ground. Which didn't happen until Chiles' sparked a change in our philosophy. You can credit him, or Davis, or Charles, or an act of God. Doesn't really matter; we all saw the same thing.
Vondrell McGee Watch: <ins>3 carries, 22 yards.</ins> Last week's discussion takes a twist this week with the fourth quarter explosion. If Texas shifts towards a zone-read attack, Jamaal Charles is going to see sustained success (remember his 7.4 yards per carry alongside Vince?). If not, we got some sense today of what McGee can do when he's the feature back in our Colt-based attack.
No simple answers here, but I think we saw today that the answer is probably not to try to pass 35 times a game. And if we do go to a spread rush attack? Charles is your starter. Without question.
Oklahoma State Fear Factor: <ins>10 out of 10</ins> (5) is the baseline. (+5) for I have no freaking idea with this Texas team. None.
Heading into next week I feel: <ins>Disoriented.</ins> It's hard to say with this team, isn't it? Colt's a better passer, but continues to struggle. Chiles can't pass, but Greg Davis seems to thrive with one offense only - the zone read package (which Chiles is better suited for). What to do?
I honestly don't know. At least we have something to talk about?
 
Whoops, We Found An Explosive Offense

by HornsFan Sat Oct 27, 2007 at 08:28:05 PM EDT

First, join me: "WOOOOOO!!!!"
Whoop like an Aggie at a sheep farm, Longhorn fans. And not because we beat Nebraska - that was to be expected. Whoop because we got an explosive performance in the fourth quarter the likes of which we haven't seen since... well, since 2005.
No matter what Mack Brown was saying, this Texas offense was stuck in a deep, nasty rut. For three quarters today, the offense settled right into that rut, with moderate running success, non-existent vertical passing, Colt McCoy body-slamming, and general incompetence. It was an exercise in futility, until....
Well, let's just look at the Jamaal Charles rush chart, shall we?
Unofficial numbers.
JCstats.JPG

Something pretty clearly changed there, now didn't it?
Let's take one more look, with a little graphic illustration for visual aid:
JCstats2.JPG

Let's be super-duper-extra-motherf-cking clear about the situation right now.
HALF-TRUTH #1: You're gonna hear a lot of BS like this:
They booed Jamaal Charles. Then they cheered Jamaal Charles. And then they cheered him some more. That was the range of emotion Saturday when Texas scored a come-from-behind 28-25 victory over Nebraska at Royal-Memorial Stadium.
Charles, the Longhorn running back, had his share of one- and two-yard runs, bringing out occasional boos from the crowd of 85,968
And then he absolutely broke loose in the fourth quarter with three touchdown runs of 25, 86 and 40 yards.

THE TRUTH: Fans weren't booing Jamaal Charles. They were booing Greg Davis. They were booing one of the single worst offensive gameplans any Texas fan has ever seen, and for most folks, that's saying a lot. Few doubt Jamaal Charles' ability. Many tear their hair out watching Greg Davis fail to put together an offensive package that works well.
****
HALF-TRUTH #2: You're gonna hear a lot of BS like this:
ya.... jamaal charles is not the right back for texas.... hes just got overe 220 yards and 2 tds... you guys are dumb
THE TRUTH: Back it up to Tuesday's conversation at BON, when we talked about Charles' struggles. In particular, the following argument was articulated:
There are two realistic, base changes that the coaches can consider in an attempt to improve the Texas offense going forward: 1. Begin transitioning from Colt McCoy to John Chiles, in an effort to rebuild the zone-read offensive firepower from 2005.
2. Accelerate the transition from the McCoy-based shotgun pass attack to a more balanced system featuring increased power rushing.

Ultimately, I said I had no faith in the coaches realistically thinking about #1 (where Charles could thrive), so we focused on #2 and whether the Texas offense could/would succeed with JC being the main guy.
Well, what happened today?
Texas went with JC as its main tailback, didn't change the system, and floundered for three quarters. After poor Colt McCoy got hammered for the fortieth time, he had to take a play off to recover. John Chiles came in, Texas ran the zone read, the defense paused to watch John Chiles, and off went Jamaal Charles for 25 yards. Even after McCoy returned, the offense kept running the zone read, with McCoy finally keeping the ball, and everything opened up as one would expect against a team like Nebraska.
It was, for the first time all year, an explosive offense.
In fact, the only bad play in the fourth quarter came when Greg Davis got away from the run, called a pass play, and let McCoy get hammered again. Nebraska intercepted the ball and the Texas defense was forced to make a stand.
Anyone who dares try to say I've sold Jamaal Charles short needs to re-read everything I've ever said about the kid and how he can and does thrive. My only argument for using Charles differently was centered around this staff's commitment to a Colt McCoy-based offense.
After today, with Jamaal Charles sticking his middle finger up at all of us who were prepared to let things drift that way, the better question might be: is it time to retire the ineffective Colt-based offense?
I mean, it was kinda cool having an explosive offense for one quarter, right?
And not just 'cause Mack says so.
 
Louisville Wanted to Lose Less

Posted Oct 27th 2007 6:03PM by Charles Rich
Filed under: Louisville Football, Pittsburgh Football, Big East
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Pitt-Louisville turned out to be one of those games that neither team looked good, and neither team exactly deserved to win. Louisville ultimately survived 24-17 to get to 5-4 and at least a chance at making a minor bowl this year.

Louisville's once fearsome offense has struggled to score. In the past three games, the Cardinals have averaged 23 points. Sloppy play and not being able to finish drives has become the standard for the Cardinals. With either Harry Douglas or Mario Urrutia available to divide the attention of secondaries in the past month, the offense has struggled.

The Louisville defense has managed to be respectable by holding opponents to just under 21 points per game. Not that they can be too cocky In the past two games, the Cardinals defense has surrendered 10 point, 4th quarter leads. This time, the offense had enough time to retake the lead and salvage the win.

Pitt came out for this game completely flat. They didn't even have 50 yards of total offense in the first half and punted six times. Despite that, the Panthers were only down 14-7 because Louisville kept making big mistakes on offense and committed a big turnover inside their own 30. Pitt converted that into a quick touchdown pass on a trick play where the TE took a pass behind the line of scrimmage and threw to a wide open running back across the field.

After three quarters, Pitt still did not have 100 yards of total offense. The fourth quarter, though, saw Pitt's phenomenal freshman tailback, LeSean McCoy explode. He started finding holes in the line and getting outside. Not to mention catching a big pass on drive as Pitt went from being down 17-7 to 17-17.

Louisville quickly answered and took a 24-17 lead with less than 2 minutes in the game. The Louisville defense, however, failed to respond. Pitt started at the 35-yard line. On 3 straight plays, McCoy went on a draw play and accumulated 45 yards and got out of bounds each time. The next play, Pitt completed a 19 yard pass to the Louisville 1. Pitt appeared poised to tied the game and probably send it to overtime.

Instead, McCoy who carried Pitt on his back the entire game, fumbled. He tried to pick his way in and Louisville LB Lamar Myles stripped the ball. Louisville recovered and was able to take a knee a few times to end the game. A bitter end for McCoy who accounted for both Pitt TDs and 180 of the 270 total yards of offense.
 
USF Not Ready for Primetime

Posted Oct 27th 2007 7:29PM by Charles Rich
Filed under: Big East, Connecticut Football, South Florida Football
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Maybe it was a bit premature to anoint South Florida as arriving. Losing at Rutgers on a Thursday night wasn't totally unexpected.

Losing at UConn, however, is a different story. This isn't to insult UConn (no, really). The Huskies apparently are a better team than expected. South Florida, however, has done a lot more in the season and was looking like a team ready to make a jump into national contenders from young team on the rise.

Turns out they are not. Good teams looking to make it nationally don't keep losing conference road games. They don't come up with a total of 3 points when starting 1st and goal inside the five -- twice. The Bulls went down to the UConn Huskies 22-15, despite USF QB Matt Grothe generating 335 yards of total offense to the entire UConn team's 353.

The lack of any other running threat -- or that Head Coach Jim Leavitt has lost faith in the other running backs as the season has progressed -- has taken a toll on the USF red zone offense. The shorter field and no other threat, makes it easier to defend. Until USF shows some more faith in, or develops another threat, it will be easier for the Bulls to be stopped.

As for the Huskies, it may be time to give them some credit.
 
What's wrong?


(Please use the comment area liberally - everyone except B Orange - who is laughing his ass off at us right now)


Does Graham Harrell lack:

A. Leadership skills?
B. Killer instinct?
C. Good decision making skills?
D. The ability to "look off" defenders?
E. All of the above?


What's the matter with genius Leach:

A. Lacks game day management skills?
B. Fails to employ a "both sides of the ball" methodology?
C. Play calling becoming predictable?
D. Won't put receivers in motion?
E. All of the above


What's the matter with the defense:

A. Because the DC coaching change happened during the season they are still running a scheme that doesn't work?
B. The defense is just too small?
C. The DL is just so young?
D. Because the offense has been sucking, the D is on the field way too much, with too much pressure on them?
E. All of the above?


What's the answer (Pick all that apply):

A. Leach has done well so far - but has reached his ceiling - it's time for him to move on?
B. Recruiting must improve - we have too little talent?
C. Ruff is a great guy - but we need a top-flight DC?
D. Bench Harrell and put T. Potts in?
E. Leach must evolve as a coach and shake himself up?


I've also added a simplistic poll to the right - we welcome your input there as well.

I don't know the answer - I'm just a fan in a far-away place. I didn't play college football - much less coach.

I'm really and truly stumped and I'm as frustrated as anyone else.

And now, for the first time, I wonder if graduating players can save Leach's job from the axe of Gerald Myers.

I have only one thing to fall back on really - and that's that we weren't supposed to be any good this year. Some of those pre-season predictions look fairly accurate now to tell you the truth.

This one looks fairly prescient:

Chip Brown - DMN

5. Texas Tech
Record: 7-5;3-5
League losses: at Okla. St., Texas A&M, at Mizzou, at Texas, OU
Bottom line: Tech has only four starters back on offense and only five back on defense. If Mike Leach hasn't been recruiting well, it will show. A typically soft nonleague schedule should ensure Tech remains the only Big 12 team without a losing season since the conference was formed.
Or how about this one:

Jimmy Boyd - Locksmith Sports There are just too many talented offensive teams now in the Big 12 for the Texas Tech Red Raiders to get by without a better defense. Sure you'll see them near the top of the nation in passing yards and points, but you'll also see them as one of the worst run defenses and scoring defenses in the nation. The Big 12 South is too tough to get by without playing both sides of the ball.

In case you want to see what the media as a whole thought of our chances - here's the pre-season Big 12 Media Poll:


<table class="tablecontent" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr><td colspan="3">2007 Big 12 Preseason Football Poll (Media Vote)</td></tr> <tr><td colspan="3" align="center">North</td></tr> <tr><td>1.</td><td> Missouri (16)</td><td> 136</td></tr> <tr><td>2.</td><td> Nebraska (8)</td><td> 128</td></tr> <tr><td>3.</td><td> Kansas State</td><td> 88</td></tr> <tr><td>4.</td><td> Kansas</td><td> 63</td></tr> <tr><td>5.</td><td> Colorado</td><td> 58</td></tr> <tr><td>6.</td><td> Iowa State</td><td> 31</td></tr> <tr><td colspan="3" align="center">South</td></tr> <tr><td>1.</td><td> Texas (16)</td><td> 135</td></tr> <tr><td>2.</td><td> Oklahoma (7)</td><td> 126</td></tr> <tr><td>3.</td><td> Texas A&M (1)</td><td> 82</td></tr> <tr><td>4.</td><td> Oklahoma State </td><td> 81</td></tr> <tr><td>5.</td><td> Texas Tech</td><td> 56</td></tr> <tr><td>6.</td><td> Baylor</td><td> 24
</td></tr> </tbody></table>
Note: First place votes in parentheses


While it's certainly no fun to say - "well we were supposed to suck" - or "there's always next year" - we may as well get well prepared to say exactly those things.
 
Anyone Remember Wake Forest?

Posted Oct 27th 2007 4:05PM by Charles Rich
Filed under: UNC Football, ACC, Wake Forest Football
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Defending ACC Champion? One of the good stories in college football last year? Anyone? Ring a bell?

Well, don't look now, but the Demon Deacons, after a slow, sloppy start to the season have now won 6 straight. They've reached 6-2 and are 4-1 in the ACC. Their only losses were an opening day loss to #2 Boston College and a then ranked Nebraska the following week.

Today Wake Forest blasted North Carolina 37-10. The Demon Deacons actually had less yardage than the Tar Heels. The difference was that UNC had 3 turnovers that Wake Forest took advantage of and scored, along with a kickoff returned 98 yards for a score.

Wake is following the same system as last year. They have a solid, opportunistic defense and the offense doesn't make mistakes. They may not be able to get back to the ACC Championship game without BC losing 2 games, but the Demon Deacons are still going to finish as one of the top teams in the ACC over Florida State and likely other "name" schools in the ACC.
 
It's Back to Basketball for Kentucky

Posted Oct 27th 2007 4:02PM by Brian Grummell
Filed under: SEC, Breaking News, The Word, Kentucky Football, Mississippi State Football
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What else to say when you lose to Mississippi State and Jackie Sherrill isn't even their coach?

After two impressive showings against LSU (a victory) and Florida (a narrow defeat), Kentucky football fell back into orbit Saturday. It didn't take much from the Bulldogs, just some defense and a methodical offensive approach. Kentucky was held to 14 points despite solid numbers from erstwhile Heisman Trophy candidate Andre Woodson. Woodson completed 42 of 42 passes (.571) for 230 yards and two touchdowns.

Problem is he also tossed three interceptions.

A few weeks ago, I was looking for absurd victory chains and made this connection:

Miss St. > Auburn > Florida > Kentucky > LSU

Today saves a few steps:

Miss St. > Kentucky > LSU

The same LSU that stomped Mississippi State 49-0 in the season's debut game.

I still have my doubts, but Mississippi State may have found an SEC quarterback in Wesley Carroll. Carroll connected on 60 % of his passes for two touchdowns and did just enough while reserve tailback Christian Ducre broke the Cats' backs with a 34-yard touchdown run in the 4th quarter to provide the winning 31-14 margin.

Add another upset to this wild and crazy 2007 college football season and congratulations to Kentucky, you just got Croomed.

So about that Billy Gillispie . . .
 
Mountaineers Chop Down Rutgers

Posted Oct 27th 2007 3:31PM by John Radcliff
Filed under: West Virginia Football, Big East, Rutgers Football, West Virginia
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For the 13th straight time, the Mountaineers were able to defeat the Scarlet Knights of Rutgers 31-3. In a game that started out in Monsoon type weather, the Mountaineers were able to cut back runs against an over-pursuing Rutgers defense to generate big plays.

While West Virginia was able to keep drives alive all day with big plays on third down, Rutgers couldn't help but shoot themselves in the foot. Whether it be with dropped passes, two sure touchdowns, and six overall (by my count). Or with turnovers (4), and drive killing penalties. Statistically, Rutgers was able to hang with West Virginia as Ray Rice managed 142 yards on 30 carries, and Rutgers amassed 314 total yards to the Mountaineers 398. However, when it came time to put the ball in the end zone Rutgers fell well short.

Rutgers had five drives into West Virginia territory. One in the third quarter was stopped on 2nd and 1 from the West Virginia 14 with a holding call that lead to a 41 yard missed field goal by Jeremy Ito. The last two ended with interceptions of Mike Teel passes.

The Mountaineers were lead by Steve Slaton's three rushing touchdowns, and Pat White's 300 yards of total offense. The defense allowed about 60 more yards than their average of 254 per game. But more importantly, held Rutgers when it mattered and held the Scarlet Knights out of the end zone.

Next up, the Mountaineers have a week off before a showdown with Louisville on November 8th in Morgantown. Despite the two teams headed in completely different directions, both of the previous meetings between the two schools have been nothing short of electrifying and I expect this years game to be just as exciting. Rutgers has little time to lick their wounds as the hit the road next weekend for a game against UConn.
 
Badgers Roll to Easy Win Over Indiana

Posted Oct 27th 2007 3:29PM by Bruce Ciskie
Filed under: Indiana Football, Wisconsin Football, Big 10
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So much for a close one in Madison Saturday.

Wisconsin jumped on Indiana early, took advantage of a porous run defense, and rolled to a 33-3 win at Camp Randall Stadium Saturday. The loss keeps Indiana stuck at five wins overall, while Wisconsin moves to 7-2 overall (3-2 Big Ten).

The Badgers took advantage of a very slow start by Indiana to jump to an early lead. Wisconsin drove for an opening-drive field goal, then got a quick punt from the Hoosiers. The Badgers took the ball and drove 52 yards for the game's first touchdown, as sophomore P.J. Hill barreled in from a yard out. That made it 10-0 Wisconsin, and the Hoosiers found themselves being outgained 92 yards to minus-one.

A bad start for IU got worse on their next possession. Josiah Sears fumbled the ball away just short of midfield, and Wisconsin was able to turn that miscue into points when freshman Zach Brown ran for six yards and his first collegiate touchdown. Indiana added a field goal to get on the board late in the first half, but they went into halftime down 17-3, outgained 211-93, and with a run defense that was getting abused for a third straight week. Wisconsin had 136 yards on the ground, making it 696 rushing yards allowed by Indiana in their last ten quarters of football. However, the run game took a hit in the first half, as Hill left the game in the second quarter. A lower leg injury kept Hill from returning to the game, leaving Brown and Lance Smith as the primary running backs for Wisconsin.

After an exchange of third-quarter punts, Wisconsin's Allen Langford made something happen, intercepting IU QB Kellen Lewis. The turnover was the second of the game for Indiana, but Wisconsin didn't keep the ball long, as Tyler Donovan fumbled it back to IU on a scramble. Star Indiana receiver James Hardy fumbled on IU's next possession, and Wisconsin took over near midfield after the third turnover in as many series. The Badgers tacked on a touchdown late in the third quarter to make it 24-3, then added nine more points in the fourth before running the clock out.

The story of the game was Wisconsin's defense. Maligned for much of the season, they did a great job containing Lewis, and cornerback Jack Ikegwuonu performed remarkably well against Lewis' favorite target, Hardy. The run defense was outstanding, holding Indiana under 70 yards on the ground through three quarters. The Hoosiers haven't been blessed with an outstanding running game, but the mobility of Lewis figured to be a problem for Wisconsin. No dice, as most of IU's 142 yards on the ground came after Wisconsin had built a comfortable second-half lead. IU also committed four turnovers.

On the other side of the ball, Indiana's run defense is a huge problem. They've allowed over 800 yards rushing in the last three games, all losses. Northwestern and Purdue, the Hoosiers' remaining Big Ten opponents, are probably licking their chops. Indiana still has Ball State on the schedule, so the 13th game is likely to be a reality. But the Hoosiers will need to tighten up on defense if they are to avoid a 2-6 Big Ten season. If they can't win another conference game, the Motor City Bowl may be the best they can achieve.

Meanwhile, Wisconsin's hopes for a major bowl rest on the next two weeks. They travel to Columbus to face Ohio State next Saturday, then host Michigan in two weeks.
 
Hawkeyes Pull Off Dramatic Win

Posted Oct 27th 2007 3:20PM by Bruce Ciskie
Filed under: Iowa Football, Michigan State Football, Big 10
albert-young.jpg
A fast start was eventually followed by disaster Saturday for Michigan State.

The Spartans couldn't hold a 17-3 halftime lead in Iowa City, as the Hawkeyes rallied to take a fourth-quarter lead. Michigan State tied it late, but Iowa eventually pulled out a dramatic double-overtime win, 34-27.

Michigan State used QB Brian Hoyer to facilitate their quick start. Hoyer hit big passes to Devin Thomas and Todd Boleski on the Spartans' second possession. Jehuu Caulcrick's first of two short touchdown runs make it 7-0, Sparty. His second touchdown run came in the second quarter, one drive after Iowa had gotten on the board to make it 10-3.

Hoyer ended the first half with 142 passing yards and no turnovers. The running game, normally a dynamic part of Michigan State's offense, was held in check by Iowa's strong defensive front seven. Instead of forcing the issue, the Spartans used Hoyer to attack through the air in the first half, and Hoyer added a couple nice scrambles for first downs.

However, Iowa had an answer in the second half. Albert Young, who had a huge day, ran for two scores in the third quarter, and Iowa quickly tied the game 17-17. After a poor punt by Michigan State early in the fourth quarter, the Hawkeyes drove down into field goal range, and Daniel Murray was good from 47 yards to give Iowa their first lead. With the job Iowa's defense did on Hoyer in the second half, combined with Iowa's bad day on offense, the hope was that the field goal would hold up.

It wouldn't.

Michigan State got the ball back with 3:48 left, and Hoyer drove them to the Iowa 43. That was as close as he would get them, however, as three straight incomplete passes led to a Spartan punt. Iowa forced Michigan State to burn their timeouts on their possession.

Hoyer, working with no timeouts, found an open receiver for a big play down the left sideline. The third-down throw to Thomas gave Michigan State the ball inside the Iowa 20. A Brett Swenson field goal tied it before the end of regulation and forced overtime.

The Spartans got the ball first in overtime. Javon Ringer bullied his way inside the five, and Caulcrick finished the job with his third score. Iowa started well on their possession, but a illegal block call on a reverse play sent them backwards. Jake Christensen's fifth completion of the game was good for a 23-yard score to Paul Chaney, and the extra point tied the game, forcing a second overtime.

After Young got Iowa in scoring range to start the second overtime, he left the game with what appeared to be a shoulder or arm problem. It didn't look to be terribly serious. Jevon Pugh pounded it in from a yard out to give Iowa the lead again at 34-27. Hoyer drove the Spartans inside the Iowa 15 on their possession, but he was sacked on third down, and a fourth-down pass fell short of the yards needed for a first down.

Young finished with 179 yards and two scores. Incredibly, Iowa QB Jake Christensen hit just five of 15 passes for 54 yards, Iowa got outgained 468-284, and the Hawkeyes were still able to pick up the win. The win improves Iowa to 4-5 overall (2-4 Big Ten), while Michigan State falls to 5-4 (1-4). Iowa has a trip to Northwestern, followed by home games against Minnesota and Western Michigan.

Michigan State finishes up with Michigan and Penn State at home, and Purdue on the road, meaning that it might be tougher for the Spartans to get to six wins.
 
In case you missed it--and everyone did--this is the miracle play that won the game for Trinity after 13 laterals. BTW, this is much better than the last play of The Game or The Music City Miracle, combined:

<object height="355" width="425">

<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/gHbzQoXuxdU&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></object>
 
Changes are needed at UW
By Steve Kelley
Times staff columnist
The age of forgiveness is over. It ended late Saturday afternoon. Ended after Washington blew a 15-point fourth-quarter lead — to Arizona.
It ended when the defense allowed 535 yards and the offense committed five turnovers. Ended with a 48-41 loss.
Last week, Washington coach Tyrone Willingham speculated that none of his players could start for USC. And then those players went out and proved him right.
Turns out the Huskies don't even have the talent to beat Arizona.
"Obviously there are a lot of people who don't feel very good about who we are right now," Willingham said after the game.
This was a 24-karat embarrassment. Washington was outscored 22-6 in the fourth quarter. Last week, Oregon outscored the Huskies 24-3 in the fourth.
"At this point in the season I was looking for a turnaround," senior linebacker Trenton Tuiasosopo said. "I wanted to continue on the Husky tradition of just winning."
It is one thing to surrender more than 600 yards to a very good Oregon team. But it is quite another to allow 535 total yards to Arizona, which has only one other win over a Division I school and whose coach, Mike Stoops, is sitting on a much hotter seat than Willingham.
Yes, Washington's talent doesn't match up with the rest of the conference. Yes, the staff has to start recruiting better, but not all of the Huskies' problems are personnel.
Shouldn't most of the blame for their second-half collapses fall on the shoulders of the coaches? How can this team be good enough to be competitive for two or three quarters, but not good enough for all four?
This season, instead of taking a step forward, the Huskies stumbled back.
If it weren't for the brilliance of redshirt freshman Jake Locker, who ran and threw for 493 offensive yards, this team would be no further along than it was when Willingham and his staff arrived.
Willingham won't be fired, but at the end of this season, he should be forced to make changes in his staff.
Washington isn't working.
Arizona passed for 510 yards, tied for seventh-most in Pac-10 history. And this wasn't John Elway or Carson Palmer throwing against the Swiss-cheesy UW defense.
It was good, but hardly great, quarterback Willie Tuitama.
In Washington's six consecutive losses, the defense has allowed an average of 42.6 points. The coaches have made changes, tweaked schemes, but it seems as if things are getting worse.
"I don't take it lightly. I have a lot of pride," said defensive coordinator Kent Baer, whose every syllable sounded as crisp and angry as a jab. "I've been coaching a long time and we've had some great defenses and we just didn't become stupid overnight, contrary to what people might believe or write. And I believe we're going to continue to work hard and do the right things."
But heading into November, this is another bad Huskies team. And this late in the year, it's hard to imagine players getting wiser or better.
"Yeah, it's frustrating. Am I happy about it? Absolutely not," said Baer, who has been coaching since 1974 and has been with Willingham for 13 years. "I want our fans to be happy and excited, just like everybody else's fans.
"One thing you have to understand about this game is that you have who you have. And you've got to play the personnel of who you got. And you don't want to put them in bad situations. And if you do, then you're wrong as a coach.
"Have we changed some things? You bet we've changed some things with those freshman kids. Is it the right answer? You got the pen, so you tell me."
The answer? The defense has allowed 1,719 yards in its past three games.
"Right now we have the players that we have and we're going to continue to coach them and do the best we can," Baer said. "We have changed some things to help ourselves or try to help ourselves with some young guys. We tried a couple things today that we've never done before."
The numbers don't lie. The changes aren't working and, as the season gets shorter and the frustration builds — within the team and the community — the call for changes can't be ignored.
Despite its inexperience, despite its talent gap, this was a game Washington should have won and didn't.
And every fan who sat through Saturday's debacle has the right to wonder why, after three years under Willingham, this team can't even win these games.
 
Arizona State Gaining Legitimacy

Posted Oct 28th 2007 2:15AM by Brian Grummell
Filed under: California Football, Pac 10, Arizona State Football
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Ok so a victory over Cal isn't worth what it was a few weeks ago, but Arizona State is now 8-0 with a semi-significant win. A few more of these and they're deeply in BCS Championship discussions.

Two angles here: 1)Is ASU legit? 2)Cal's implosion

ASU ... just lost a very good tailback for the year in Ryan Torain. So far so good from his replacements, though. They're not as reliable down-to-down, but Keegan Herring and Dimitri Nance combined for over 180 yards and three touchdowns in putting the Bears away during the second half.

ASU looked like garbage early in trailing 13-0 in the first quarter and 20-14 at half. But as has been pattern, they dominated the second half and particularly the fourth quarter. They picked off Nate Longshore twice and methodically built a 31-20 lead. This is clearly a good team, but "how good" cannot be answered until a few more games are played.

Their remaining schedule: Oregon, UCLA, USC and rival Arizona. That's tough sledding no matter what you think about the Pac-10.

As for their opponent - Cal's implosion is complete as the Bears have likely plummeted out of the rankings just weeks after nearly ascending to the #1 spot. Their run defense has been exposed and quarterback Nate Longshore is regressing before our very eyes. It is an unexpected and precipitous decline for a team with more than enough talent on offense and capable defensive coordinator to contend.
 
Also, There Is This

by HornsFan Sun Oct 28, 2007 at 01:51:59 AM EDT

Oh, one other thing, which will be fun to talk about tomorrow: a lot of teams in front of Texas lost on Saturday. It may have taken awhile for Texas to get going on Saturday, but win we did. And with that, check out who in front of Texas in the BCS Standings lost on Saturday:
#8 Virginia Tech
#10 South Florida
#11 Florida
#12 Southern Cal
#14 Kentucky
#15 Virginia
#16 South Carolina
And with that, I'll note that I'm going to bed happy tonight. Wins are wins. Congrats to the 'Horns on an exciting come from behind win against Nebraska this afternoon. Onward and upward.
 
Vols: Inexplicably in Charge of the SEC East

Posted Oct 28th 2007 1:08AM by Andy Katzer
Filed under: Tennessee Football, SEC, South Carolina Football
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Yes, the Tennessee that gave up 45 points to Cal, 59 points to Florida, and 41 points to Alabama just last week, controls their own destiny in the SEC East. It makes absolutely no sense that a team with a defense so porous and an offense so sporadic and a coaching staff so under fire could be in control of anything, but it's true. Make no mistake, with games against Arkansas, Vandy, and Kentucky yet to be played, there are plenty of chances for UT to blow this thing. And -- this is coming from a Vol fan here -- I fully expect them to do just that. But for the time being, the most inconsistent team in the SEC is in control of their fate.

Take Saturday's game against South Carolina as a microcosm of Tennessee's season. In the first half, everything was going right for the Vols. UT jumped out to a 21-0 lead on Spurrier's team by taking advantage of turnovers and presenting the Cocks with a balanced offense difficult to defend. Montario Hardesty, the backup running back who didn't play at all against Bama last week, had two carries for 18 yards and a touchdown in the first half.

After the break, however, everything went sour, and Tennessee's defense lived up to the "Career Day" moniker they were given by the local press, allowing Blake Mitchell and Kenny McKinley go crazy (Mitchell ended up 31-45 for 290 yards, and McKinley had 14 catches for 151 and a TD). Montario Hardesty still had just two carries for 18 yards and a TD. Erik Ainge, who looked brilliant in the first 30 minutes, was pedestrian in the second half.

Then things got wacky. Carolina killed themselves with turnovers... two in the fourth quarter that Tennessee couldn't do anything with. Still, the Cocks got into field goal range with a minute and a half left, and Ryan Succop, perhaps the best kicker in the SEC, nutted a 48-yarder that would have been good from 58.

Then a series of improbable plays... a Tennessee 37-yard kick return... a fumble and recovery for the Vols... an offsides by Tennessee (kicker Daniel Lincoln followed through even though the whistle had blown, and he missed the kick badly)... and the Vols still had a chance from 48 yards to tie the game. And Lincoln nailed it.

The overtime was even more mind-boggling for Vol fans. UT had one worthwhile play in OT, a 13-yard rush by LaMarcus Coker. Every other play was a pass, even though the Vols had relatively no passing success in the second half and had abandoned the running game for the second straight week. Still, that run got UT in position for what ended up being the game-winning FG, a 27-yard attempt by Lincoln.

The game recalled memories of the 1998 Tennessee win over Steve Spurrier-coached Florida: turnovers early, an overly-conservative Tennessee offense going to overtime and forcing Spurrier's kicker to match the points, and Spurrier's team failing. That '98 UT team seemed like a team of destiny. And with everything that could go wrong for the Vols this year, if they get to the Georgia Dome, these Vols might be a team of destiny, too.
 
Redux: Missouri 42, Iowa State 28

by CrossCyed Sun Oct 28, 2007 at 01:14:54 AM EDT

Well, it's pretty hard to say what I saw today, unless you want details of me posting comments on my own blog while listening to the AM radio, but it's fair to say that again, there were some positives out of Iowa State today, and some actual signs of progress.
Missouri shot out to a quick 14 point lead and maintained that margin to the end, but we saw some fight out of Iowa State. First of all, it's nice to see Devin McDowell emerge as a playmaker on defense. I noticed him playing some against Oklahoma, so it's clear that he's practicing and playing better. It's been a long time since we've seen a defensive touchdown, and unless you were in Columbia, you didn't get to see it. From what I thought I heard, though, the ball popped up into the air, making two straight picks off of the tip drill. Returning it was just the cherry on top.
Milan Moses appeared to be a positive in the return game when he caught the ball.
Alexander Robinson seemed to decide he wants to start against Kansas State, with the most memorable game from an ISU runningback since sometime early this century. He was able to get into space and turn on some burners (burners that Scales and Bass do not have). The 37-yard touchdown jaunt on fourth and one was certainly unexpected, and I'm still waiting for it to get called back. Expect more running back by committee but with more Robinson. He did have a fumble, so he needs to work on that, but he has a burst that our run game desperately needs.
Bret Meyer still frustrates the hell out of me. How does a 6-3 quarterback get so many tipped passes at the line? His weekly turnover directly resulted in points. He did have a decent game throwing the ball, but his clock management at the end of the game was absolutely piss-poor.
All-in-all, anytime you can outgain a team like we did today and keep the #13 team nervous on the road isn't necessarily a bad day. it's another week of improvement. We have a shot to beat Kansas State next week, on the teevee, no less. If the team keeps its head up and realizes that if it plays like it did the last two weeks, Mr. Chizik can get win numero dos.
 
A <strike>Roller Coaster</strike> Death March
By Nestor Section: Football
Posted on Sun Oct 28, 2007 at 12:09:03 PM EDT


By now that fact that Dorrell is a Doofus is an observable truth:

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Photo Credit: Gina Ferazzi / Los Angeles Times

I shouldn't have to spell it out for anyone here at this point how and why that clown doesn't belong on any college team's sideline as a head coach. And at this point if it is not clear to someone that at this point the season should be nothing short of a prolonged death march for the Doofus, then that person needs to follow another sport, which he or she can understand. So let me start my Sunday post with a look at another coach, who if we are not vigilant enough could turn out to be the next Doofus masquerading as the head UCLA football coach at the Rose Bowl sidelines.

Let's talk about DeWayne Walker, an over hyped defensive coordinator, who also should be summarily dismissed along with the Doofus at the end of this death march.

Walker needs to be exposed for what he is: an average assistant coach at best, who in the eyes of some desperate UCLA fans, who are willing to settle for anything to get rid of Dorrell, is a credible candidate for UCLA's next football coach.

Last night's game should end those stupid wishes.

Let's look at the horrific defensive numbers:
The Bruins' offensive inefficiency was a big reason the defense spent 38 minutes on the field, but the defense was also unable to solve the Cougars' mix of run and pass in the spread offense.

The Cougars entered the game 100th in the nation in rushing, averaging 108.6 yards per game. Tardy, a sophomore, had 462rushing yards on the season before pounding UCLA. He capped off his career night with a 51-yard TD run on his 37th carry, and it came with 42 seconds remaining.

"I was loving every minute of it," Tardy said. "I thought, `Yeah, keeping feeding me.' I'm satisfied with my performance."

When Tardy wasn't ripping through UCLA's defense, quarterback Alex Brink was carving it up. He completed 28 of 46 passes for 271 yards, and his distribution was varied. Four receivers had had least five catches, led by tight end Jed Collis' six catches for 71yards.
During this off-season when a number of folks were rushing to crown Walker as a genius, I kept saying we should hold off from reaching any conclusions on this guy, until we see how he can handle spread offenses and whether he learned any lessons from the beating he took repeatedly last season.

I think we got an emphatic answer last night. And yeah pardon me for not taking too much from our defensive "showing" against a Cal team, which was playing with a one legged QB, and still was in position to win the game until we had a game saving individual brilliant play from ATV.

What is even more disturbing about last night's ass kicking our defense received is that apparently they were not prepared for the onslaught by one of the worst offensive teams in the Pac-10. From the DN (emphasis mine):"They wanted to spread us out and get three receivers out there and run the ball at us," UCLA defensive end Bruce Davis said. "We were out there expecting them to throw the ball, and they fooled us."

The Cougars' running game, which was averaging 108.6 yards per game, sliced through UCLA's defense for 274 yards on 51attempts. Wazzu tailback Dwight Tardy was averaging 66yards per game, and finished with a career-high 214 on a career-best 37 attempts.

Even backup Kevin McCall got into the running frenzy, carrying 11 times for 51 yards. He had 22carries for 105 yards in the first seven games.

Bruins senior Michael Norris, who played the nickelback spot, was asked if Wazzu's offensive approach came as a surprise.

"Definitely. It definitely did," Norris said. "I was pretty much thinking more passes, given their history."

That's funny. Because in the same article Walker doesn't sound like he was in the same page as his players:UCLA defensive coordinator DeWayne Walker said he expected the Cougars to try and run the ball, so much so he said certain periods of practice during the week were designed with that in mind.
And that is all from a UCLA defensive unit that pledged to give us their "best game" on Saturday. So if anyone out there still thinks Walker is a credible candidate for our next head coach, please stop embarrassing yourself.

He may be an average defensive coordinator. And I can our defensive guys putting up great emotional efforts during some point rest of this season, pulling off "upsets" at home against Oregon or against an over-rated Southern Cal (OMG the best team ever!), but that will not hide the fact that Walker is no where close to head coaching material.

If he somehow ends up as the next HC, not only will our confrontational posture on BN will not change, we are going to maintain all out pressure on not just the football program, but will come after Guerrero for making such a stupid decision (if he is actually dumb enough to hire this average coordinator as our next HC).

On to some other thoughts from yesterday's game.

As I mentioned in the post game thread, last night's game should also quiet all those Olson critics, who were unfairly coming down on a kid for not executing in a joke offensive scheme. Let's make something clear now. The complete lack of production from this joke offensive scheme is neither Olson nor Cowan's fault. These kids have been doing all they can, despite being handicapped by two dolts posing as their HC and OC, a predictable play calling scheme, and a dysfunctional offensive line. So Bell went down early in the game. But can someone actually make the argument that UCLA didn't have enough depth at RB w/ Markey, Moline or Ramirez to dominate the second worst rushing defense in the Pac-10? We of course know the answer.

Now going into yesterday's game I was confident (despite the requisite sarcasm needed to deal with this joke football program) that we were going to win. I thought given everybody was predicting them to lose, Dorrell would actually pull out the win, leading all his minions and the idiotic beat reporters into a collective orgasm of how the Thinker is proving all his critics wrong. I thought the players would be fired up to shut down all us haters. I thought we were going to win last night only to have the team stumble somewhere in next 2 or 3 games. My reverse psychology didn't work. So what now? I still think this team is going to pull out at least one more if not two victories from the last three games, which will enable Dorrell and his shameless cultist supporters, and the idiots covering the UCLA beat to argue that perhaps Dorrell should get another season to prove himself.

Bill Dwyre wrote this in the LAT this am:Saturday's Washington State loss, the Plop in the Palouse, leaves Dorrell's six-year mark at UCLA at 34-24. He's gotten the Bruins to four different bowl games, and lost three. The best bowl they have played in is . . . well, there isn't one.

That kind of showing may be OK at Indiana or Vanderbilt, or, well, Washington State. But log on to dumpdorrell.com and see just how OK it is in Westwood.

A fine time was had by all here Saturday, if you were a Cougar.
Actually the rest of the conference have been having a "fine time" at the expense of UCLA football during last 4+ years. That is why the only place Dorrell will find any modicum of support besides from his immediate family, Donahue, clueless beat writers, and his cultists followers, are from the fan base of other Pac-10 programs.

You and I, and all the sane readers of this blog and DumpDorrell.com know that dog will not hunt. Dorrell needs to be gone by December 3rd. At this point even "upsets" against Oregon or Southern Cal should not be enough to save this Doofus.

This season has been a disaster. The Doofus has already blown it. Any victory from here on out will be just like the victories we had after the Utah game: totally meaningless. The actual games don't matter from hereon out any more.

This season at this point is should be nothing but a prolonged death march for Doofus and his entire incompetent staff, just like Lavin's last season in Westwood.

GO BRUINS.
 
SUNDAY QUARTERBACK FINDS A WAY
By SMQ
Posted on Sun Oct 28, 2007 at 06:45:51 PM EDT


The huge illicit ticket trade isn't usually considered a part of that great bastion of Americana, the black market - Eric Schlosser will probably never write a book about scalpers, for example - but this is only because it's generally a nonviolent, white collar economy that doesn't exploit immigrants, or something. In fact, what's best about any underground market is the way people move seamlessly above and below the table, usually without thinking about it or drawing a distinction, working cooperatively without regulations, receipts or taxes, to everyone's mutual gain. You want a ticket? I got your tickets. Milton Freidman would weep with joy outside of every stadium in America.

milton_friedman_1.jpg

One? No, no, man, I can't do one.
- - -

Here is an example, then, of capitalism in action: through no fault of my own (actually, not to put too fine a point on it, through every fault of my own), the presumed tickets to Saturday's Nebraska-Texas game in Austin, secured through legitimate means from a large organization (to remain unnamed) in a transaction that non-ironically included the term `handling fees,' turned out to be not so much actual "tickets," per se. There's no need to go into details, except to say that, by the time we were in sight of Darrell K. Royal, less than a half hour before kickoff, we had no legal entry to the game. We knew for certain we had one option - to find said organization's representative at the game and buy three seats from him, at face value - but we also knew the certainty of that deal probably wasn't worth the price. Personally, I think everyone should buy from scalpers; briefly, after taking on one more ticket than we needed because our man didn't want to be left with a single (dead ticket, you know, can't sell just one), our upstanding became scalpers our own selves. Scalpers are businessmen. Maybe there's a risk involved - fraud, police, extortion, I dunno - but it was the black market that secured three tickets for the price the official brokers were offering for one, after a little negotiation, and the fourth was snapped up for a small profit in minutes, and we were in better seats than I thought I was originally buying before kickoff. This is not an easy trick to pull, but it's also a conventional trick that people pull every week. Everybody who's been to a handful of games as done it, very various levels of negotiationg skill, but always coming away with what they want, if they want it enough. It's no big deal at all. Which is just more proof that you can't learn any of the fundamentals in school.
Onwards...
SMQ WATCHED...
Texas 28 Nebraska 25
- - -
As long as Texas was focusing its offense around Colt McCoy's passing ability, or (as it more often turned out) lack thereof, Nebraska's blitz-heavy scheme was paying off: through three quarters, the Huskers had UT to field goals by routinely sending seven after McCoy when he was the shotgun, only logging one sack but keeping large men in his face and forcing erratic throw after erratic throw after erratic throw. The Longhorns' long gain through the air was a 36-yard sideline go route to Quan Cosby, on a poor throw that Cosby acrobatically tipped away from the defender and hauled in against all odds. Beyond that, the long was 14 yards, on a little down-the-line swing pass Nate Jones turned upfield on the first play of the game. McCoy was staring down his primary receivers, missing other open men, eventually either throwing incomplete into coverage (see above) or just lobbing the ball out of bounds when his first option wasn't available, and next to Nebraska's precise, mostly well-protected timing scheme, Texas' passing game looked altogether unsophisticated and broken.
The adjustment on Texas' part at the start of the fourth quarter was obvious - in some people's opinion, possibly accidental - and especially effective because the defense never did adjust. Maybe because the Huskers were still leading and expecting to see more passing, and/or Texas hadn't shown any special commitment to the run to that point, the Blackshirts increasingly turned to the defense they had used most of the game to come after McCoy in obvious third down passing situations, sending seven or eight men charging upfield in one solid wave, stretched across the line of scrimmage like a picket fence, or the Maginot Line, and about as effective when penetrated. With every defender either tied up with a blocker or actively running himself out of the play by flying out of control into the backfield, there was no second level - or, more accurately, the second level was pushed all the way back to the secondary, which was spread out itself out of concern for Texas' multiple receiver sets. Once Charles broke free of the line, he was gone.

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Hey...I think they like it.
- - -

And break free he did: after back-to-back 25-yard runs to open the quarter, the first one a real momentum-building touchdown, Charles responded with the 86-yard go-ahead run down the sideline and then another shot right up the gut on 3rd-and-3 for a 40-yard score, without a Nebraska hand coming anywhere near him. So after three quarters of the best defensive football it's played all season, we found the Nebraska defense really is what we thought it was: a crippling, undisciplined liability. The Horns finished with 364 on the ground, 249 in the fourth quarter, the third straight team to rush for 300-plus on the former Blackshirts. Over its last seven, Nebraska is allowing 520 yards per game, a lot of it against the read option. It just took Texas a little longer to figure that out. • I was significantly more impressed with Nebraska's offense, which opened up in tight formations, pounding out a few first downs at a time to set up play-action later on, and briefly looked dominant when they paid off in back-to-back touchdowns to Nate Swift at the end of the second/beginning of the third quarter, on what looked to be identical routes between Texas' safeties. Unlike McCoy, Sam Keller had time most of the game and was occasionally outstanding at looking defenders off (see the second touchdown pass, when he led a safety to the sideline with his head and came back to a wide open Swift in the vacated middle) and finding open receivers in zones.
The Huskers wound up with a solid, balanced line - 447 yards, 25 points without the benefit of any short fields - and really can only be criticized for falling into a deep funk beginning in the third quarter, as the momentum first began to shift to the Longhorns. For that, even if most people in attendance probably don't remember it at all, I largely credit ex-blue chip Sergio Kindle, who made one of the plays of the day when he shed a lineman and tackled Lucky alone in the open field on a 3rd-and-1 attempt with a little over two minutes to play in the third quarter. "Shed" is the conventional term - what Kindle actually did is shove an impossibly massive tackle out of his pursuit lane and continue on to the ball without missing a step to slam Lucky down short of the sticks, a perfect individual effort on an important snap. The score at that point was 17-6 and the mood still glum; after that stop, Texas rattled off 24 points on its next five possessions while Nebraska went Punt-Punt-Punt-Fumble. By the time the Huskers put together a nice two-minute drill to cut the margin to three, there was no time to swing the pendulum back.
• I've never been to a Texas game, and I'm not going to judge its fans based on only this one. But this particular crowd came across to me as relatively docile for 85,000 people, in the same way you usually see attributed to Michigan fans: smart, into the game, mostly patient, but not very loud and certainly not crazy in any noticeable way. Even my dad thought this. Put another way, prior to the entire team lining up to sing "The Eyes of Texas" after the game (which was cool), the most memorable non-football moment of the day concerns some very conventional - in this case, I would say possibly hyper conventional, nearly to the point of unintentional parody - high-fiving.
The crowd was at its best (i.e., at the heights of collective bloodlust) in the second quarter, when the officials made a pair of annoying, game-delaying gaffes in the span of a couple minutes: first, they threw flags for two separate penalties on a Nebraska punt, talked about it a while, announced both flags against Nebraska (weirdly, since on was announced as "holding" about 30 yards downfield - on the kicking team?), spotted the ball, talked some more, then announced that, in fact, no, the holding penalty was on Texas. Offsetting, let's kick it again, after an approximately 8-10 minute delay. On the next possession, on McCoy's aforementioned sideline lob to Quan Cosby, Texas lined up and ran an off tackle play to Charles for about a yard on the subsequent first down - no whistle, no stoppage, no time outs, nothing out of the ordinary. Just an off tackle run for minimal gain. Somehow, officials announce after first down, "the previous play is under review," obviously refering to the more controversial catch by Cosby, who had pretty clearly stepped out of bounds and come back in to make the grab. Confusion was followed by appropriate booing as the catch was upheld (Cosby was forced out, and so allowed to come back in, which sounds like an NFL rule to me, not college, but whatever) but the first down run was taken off the board; after Texas had run a valid play that was never stopped, the down marker was reset to first down and the run wiped from the books. Good thing Charles waited until later to start breaking the long stuff, I guess. (UT later missed a field goal on the possession, for the record).
Altogether, both incompetent stoppages probably extended the game by about 20 minutes, at least, one of the reasons it lasted just shy of four hours from kickoff to coaches' handshake.

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Mangino: Wears his sunglasses and his track suits at night. Never deny a man his comfort.
- - -

Glimpses
- - -
Tennessee 27, South Carolina 24: I don't care who wins, but endings like this one almost make me sick for the utter randomness of it all. It's one thing to lose a game in which you outgain your opponent by 200 yards, hold the ball for almost an entire quarter longer and earn twice as many first downs - Carolina did, after all, turn the ball over four times, and that's what happens to a team that turns the ball over four times no matter what other good it does. But to lose because one of your opponent's linemen flinched before its kicker badly missed a field goal in overtime and nobody happened to break any rules when your kicker missed...that's the kind of ending that would drive me insane if I was Steve Spurrier. I'd so much rather be beaten by 40 points and know my team was soundly whipped than earn an unmitigated `L' on the timing of yellow hankies. The Ball Coach somehow was able to just take off his headset and glasses and go on looking composed in spite of the universe's cackling scorn, but if this ever happened to my team, the ensuing press conference would live in infamy for decades. Phil Fulmer would sue for slander and defamation of body type. Talk show hosts, Mike Gundy and various local car dealers would send me `thank you' letters. I couldn't handle it. • Mangino...velour track suit...whaddaya gotta problem wit dat?
Box Scorin'
Making sense of what I didn't see.
- - -
Oregon 24, Southern Cal 17: The difference in this game seems pretty clearly to be the 3rd-and-1 fumble by Stanley Havili in the third quarter, which Oregon turned directly into a 16-yard touchdown "drive" to go ahead 17-10, and then an interception by Mark Sanchez on the ensuing Trojan possession, ending a solid drive that had moved inside the Oregon 30 and setting up another, personal foul-aided touchdown drive by the Ducks. UO didn't pick up another first down on its last three possessions, but it didn't matter much with Sanchez slightly out of his depth in comeback mode on the road.
For all its recruiting stars, USC's offense does appear officially "mediocre" by the stat sheet, especially in the running game. A lot of injuries have gone into making that the case, but SC didn't break a run longer than 11 yards Saturday against a frankly average run defense, one that gave up 352 rushing on the same field to Houston at the start of the year. It's the third time in four games since linemen Chico Rachal and Matt Spanos were injured against Washington that SC has finished below four yards per carry as a team (they were averaging 6.2 through the end of that Washington game), the one exception being lame duck Notre Dame last week. Such a waste: all those blue chip backs, and no one to block for them.
Arizona State 31, California 20: ASU gets credit here not only for beating a presumably still-quality Bear outfit, its best competition to date, but for overcoming comical gaffes and subsequent 13-0 and 20-7 holes in the first half to completely dominate after the break. The number that jumps off an otherwise even-looking page is time of possession, 37:30 to 22:30 in favor of ASU, a direct result of the Bears' touted, pick-your-poison offense's inability to get anything done over the last two quarters. Cal had 269 yards of total offense in the first half, then proceeded to run 23 plays for 90 yards through the entire second, throwing two interceptions in the process; it held the ball for less than ten minutes as a result, and its running game failed to net 100 yards for the second week in a row.
The Devils, on the other hand, turned to Keegan Herring and Dimitri Nance and pounded out three touchdown drives in four possessions, covering nine, ten and eight plays, respectively, then ran the final six minutes off the clock on a twelve-play drive that ended the game. If you're keeping score, that's 51 plays for Arizona State and 23 for Cal in the second half and a score that reflects it - where the total numbers (144 yards on 2.7 per carry) suggest the Devils may not have run the ball effectively, much of the reality is obscured by early sacks and penalties that made running a non-starter. Once ASU settled down, Herring and Nance each averaged four per carry and kep Cal's weapons on the bench.
This may be just another conference win for Arizona State, which is still looking at Oregon, UCLA and USC over the next three weeks, but it's the Hammer of Illumination for Cal. In a must-win game, the Bears let a significant advantage slip away by being apparently manhandled down the stretch and now are staring down a third tier bowl in Las Vegas or someplace after three straight losses, and if not for the last second fumble by Oregon at the goalline at the end of UCB's win in Eugene, it might very well be four straight, in which case Cal would be wondering if it could secure any kind of bowl.
Next week: fairly monster collision between Ducks and undefeated Devils in Autzen for the Pac Ten lead and the inside track on the mythical championship pecking order alongside Boston College and LSU (and, damn, I guess Kansas). Is that the Underachiver Bowl, or Overachiever Bowl?

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And the rout is on....now!
- - -

Ohio State 37, Penn State 17: No alarms, no surprises here: OSU's defense dominated Anthony Morelli and the Buckeye offense ground out a balanced, efficient win. Really efficient, actually: I imagine the "White Out" sections of Beaver Stadium were rabid after the Lions' went 78 yards to go ahead in the fourth quarter, but it's a testament to OSU's killer instinct that it responded by immediately marching 80 yards to retake the advantage, then taking it 91 yards in the second quarter to extend the advantage, then taking it 87 yards to basically force the door shut midway through the third. Everything about the numbers here - 200 yards rushing, 12-16 on third down, 16-minute time of possession advantage - bends to the will of Tressel Ball at its most unstoppable. Georgia 42, Florida 30: This looks like a pretty standard butt-kicking, courtesy Knowshon Moreno - I mean, 10 of 13 on third down? A direct result of patient pounding - and a singleminded, Tebow-thumping defense. On Florida's end, aside from being run over, allowing 84 and 53-yard touchdown passes has the defense bordering on "bad." The Gators have lost three of their last four.
Also, I don't think I could love this any more:

<object height="275" width="365">

<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xj_yqJtmE2w&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="275" width="365"></object></p> As long as it doesn't become a trend. Desperate poseur coaches ruin everything.
West Virginia 31, Rutgers 3: I texted a friend of mine when I saw the score on a video screen during the UT-Nebraska game to confirm that the Mountaineers really beat Rutgers that badly, and he replied that, yes, Mike Teel had sunk the Knights. It appears this is true to an extent - Teel threw two interceptions in the fourth quarter, both of which killed good-looking RU drives, and Ray Rice certainly was not a culprit, having run for 142 - but he did not mention the chances the Knights gave WVU (especially on a second quarter fumble on a punt return that the Mountaineers convereted into a short touchdown drive) and the chances it missed itself; Rutgers punted in West Virginia territory on its first drive, missed a field goal after a 56-yard drive in the third and turned it over, as mentioned, after 62 and 48-yard drives in the fourth. It also only had three possessions total in the second and third quarters. So where West Virginia was pretty clearly better in this game, but it took the right circumstances to make the Mountaineers four touchdowns better.
Boise State 34, Fresno State 21: More evidence against its toughest intraleague test to date that Boise remains a death machine in the WAC - the Broncos are 43-1 in the conference since 2002 and have only Hawaii between them and a seventh WAC championship in seven years in the league - and one seemingly impervious to time or tide or any number of coaching and personnel changes. No Ian Johnson? No problem: anonymous, bite-sized freshman backups Jeremy Avery (5-9, 173) and D.J. Harper (5-10, 185) tore up the Fresno defense for 277 yards and four touchdowns between them Friday, on 7.5 per carry. Not that the Bulldogs have stopped anyone from running this season (Texas A&M and Oregon each went over 300 against FSU, and even Idaho had 279), but Fresno was the single greatest threat to the Broncos' totalitarian grip until the finale in Honolulu, and it was casually brushed off by second and third-teamers.
Give it up for the offensive line, the one, unheralded constant in BSU's unabated offensive dominance, but don't try too hard to pin that on anyone in particular, either: the current o-line coach is former all-WAC lineman and first-year assistant Scott Huff, who graduated from Boise in 2002, which makes him probably 27 years old. It takes a village, I guess. A nauseatingly blue village.
Upwards...
Conceit...
SMQ was right about: I picked nine of twelve games correctly Friday, straight up, but only one of them reads like a very prescient prediction:

  • The line here is only 3.5 in the Buckeyes' favor, which strikes me as almost laughably low. Penn State is at home, but it's facing a legitimately punishing defense , and with Anthony Morelli this time, not Michael Robinson. Fans doing the "White Out" thing will look good, briefly, but won't be able to do anything to stop Chris Wells from pounding the clock away while the Lion offense does its damndest to get into good punt position.
    - - -
That was closer than I was able to get to the score; the closest I was to picking a final this week was Oregon 27, USC 24 (actual final: UO 24, USC 17), though I did also put non-obvious winners Arizona State, Tennessee, West Virginia, Kansas, Clemson, Boise State and (more obviously) Texas on the right side of the `W.'
...and Contrition...
SMQ was wrong about: This line stands out:

  • Georgia has a shot if it can generate a consistent running game, but that seems like too much slack for Knowshon Moreno to have to pick up.
    - - -
Well, yes, in fact, UGA did have a shot if it generated a running game, but it wasn't too much slack for Moreno by any stretch, if his 188 yards and three touchdowns are any indication. And I think they are.
Otherwise, South Florida and Texas Tech disappointed in losses, and Texas didn't hammer Nebraska nearly as badly as expected. Good thing I didn't pick UCLA or Kentucky...
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Oh no! We suck again!
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The Crunch
Interesting/Not Necessarily Relevant Stats
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Michigan State outgained Iowa by 185 yards, held Jake Christensen to 53 yards passing, and lost, 27-20. . . . Purdue had 176 yards in the first 44 minutes against Northwestern and trailed 17-14, then gained 220 yards in the last 16 minutes and won 35-17. . . . With 62 pass attempts in Texas Tech's loss to Colorado, Graham Harrell has attempted 131 passes in two weeks, eight of them intercepted. . . . Delaware and Navy combined for two punts in the first quarter and didn't punt again for the final three in the Blue Hens' 59-52 win. Eighteen of the game's 22 non-half-ending possessions ended in scores, including 14 of the last 15, and at one point the offenses scored touchdowns on seven straight possessions. . . . Did Iowa State find its running back? True freshman Andrew Robinson ran for 149 yards on 7.1 per carry and helped ISU outgain Missouri in his first start. . . . How in hell did Arizona and Washington, eighth and tenth in the Pac Ten in total offense coming in, combine for 89 points in regulation? That kind of thing happens when the defenses allow 1,137 yards. Willie Tuitama passed for 510 yards and Jake Locker had 493 all-purpose (336 passing, 157 rushing) in Arizona's come-from-behind, 48-41 win. . . . After allowing 350 yards rushing to Mike Hart-less Michigan, Minnesota has allowed 701 yards on the ground in two weeks. Two teams, Oregon State and Boston College, are on pace to allow less than 700 yards rushing over the entire regular season . . . And, holy god, Northern Illinois allowed 812 yards and ten touchdowns in a 70-21 loss to Toledo. <!-- poll box -->
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SMU's Bennett Is the First to Go

Southern Methodist coach Phil Bennett has been fired, a day after a 29-23 loss at Tulsa eliminated the Mustangs from bowl contention.

SMU was clinging to a 23-21 lead late in Saturday's game and Bennett's team drove to the Golden Hurricane five. Two runs got the Mustangs to the one. Bennett then decided to run two more plays and each fell short of the end zone.

Tulsa took over on downs and Paul Smith drove the Golden Hurricane 99 yards for the winning touchdown and two-point conversion.

"That's why we went for it. We knew they were capable of making some plays," Bennett said. "We didn't get it done.

"The game should have been over."

Instead, Bennett, whose team is 1-7, is out of work after the Nov. 24 season finale against Memphis. Bennett, 18-48 in almost six seasons, had two years remaining on his contract and is paid almost $500,000 a year.
 
Richard Billingsley's Computer Is Beyond Broken

by HornsFan Sun Oct 28, 2007 at 11:13:52 PM EDT

Back in 2003, when USC wound up #1 in the human polls but didn't get a chance to play for the national title because computers didn't rank them highly enough, the BCS formula was changed. More weight was given to the humans ranking these things; the computers were skeptically pushed to the side a bit because they didn't spit out results that people watching these teams were comfortable with.
Not only were computer rankings' weight in the BCS formula devalued, the computer rankers were disallowed from taking margin of victory into account. This struck me as absurd, given that human voters invariably were taking margin of victory into account in their own rankings.
Well, today, in one of the most bizarre years of college football in recent memory, I took a long, hard look at the current BCS Standings. And among all the oddities of the 2007 season - of which there have been many - one thing stood out...
This:
billingsley.JPG

That #16 circled in red? Means Richard Billingsley's computer ranks USC 10th in the country.
Honestly, USC's way, way, totally, without-question out of the national title hunt, so my gripe has nothing to do with wanting to see USC suffer. I could give a shit about the Trojans' fate this year (and truth be told, I think it'd be neat if Texas and USC matched up in the Holday Bowl). My outrage is based upon the fact that one of the computers which counts in this mess of a formula has the Trojans ranked #10 in the country. <ins>NUMBER 10!</ins>
Based on what, pray tell? USC's schedule to date:
vs Idaho (W, 38-10)
at Nebraska (W, 49-31)
vs Washington State (W, 47-24)
at Washington (W, 27-24)
vs Stanford (L, 23-24)
at Notre Dame (W, 38-0)
at Oregon (L, 17-24)
Strong wins: None
Good wins: None
Bad losses: Home vs Stanford
Billingsley computer whirls, computes: #10
Based. On. What???
As someone who loves the idea of a computer taking a huge input of data and spitting out a reasonably objective ranking of teams, this makes me throw up. More to the point, it makes me wonder what algorythm Richard Billingsley could possibly come up with to spit out this result. Whatever it is? F-cking blows.
I'm honestly more disgusted with this than I am with anything else in this whole sordid process.
 
<table><tbody><tr><td colspan="3" class="storytitle"> Who's Hot & Who's Not - Oct. 27 </td> </tr> <tr> <td class="primaryimage" valign="top">
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Kansas State WR Jordy Nelson
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</td> <td valign="top"> <table bgcolor="#f5f5f5" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1" width="60%"> <tbody><tr valign="top"> <td nowrap="nowrap" valign="middle">By Pete Fiutak
CollegeFootballNews.com
Posted Oct 28, 2007
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The hot and not aspects of the college football world this week.
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[SIZE=-1]Past Hot and Not: [/SIZE] Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4
Week 5 | Week 6 | Week 7 | Week 8

Who’s Hot …
Oregon State pass rush
Oregon State is 3-0 this year when it registers five sacks or more. With 5.5 against Stanford last week, helped by two from Dorian Smith, the Beavers lead the nation in sacks and is eighth in tackles for loss. USC is up next.

Indiana DE Greg Middleton
The Hoosiers might have lost to Wisconsin, but sophomore pass rushing extraordinaire Greg Middleton had a nice day with three tackles and two sacks. On the year he has 11.5 sacks to lead the Big Ten, with two or more in four games this season. South Florida's George Selvie leads the nation with 13.5.

Weber State vs. Portland StateWhatever happened to the good old-fashioned shootout? It was alive and well in Portland, Oregon, as Weber State beat Portland State 73-68 in a record-setting game for the most points scored in a game, at least since the official records were kept. Wildcat QB Cameron Higgins threw for 334 yards and seven scores, and ran for 106 yards and three touchdowns in the win. And no, there weren't any overtimes. This was all done in four quarters.

Florida Atlantic QB Rusty Smith
And the best quarterback in Florida is ... well, it's Tim Tebow, and Matt Grothe of South Florida is certainly terrific, but as far as passing yards, Florida Atlantic sophomore Rusty Smith leads the Sunshine State. In a Sun Belt conference not exactly known for its bombing quarterbacks, Smith has been the exception averaging 272 yards per game with 17 touchdowns and five interceptions. Unfortunately, two of his picks came in last week's overtime loss to UL Monroe. Arkansas State is up next.

Kansas State WR Jordy Nelson

Who's the most dangerous player in America? Nelson has to be in the team photo, averaging 13.3 yards per catch with 76 grabs for 1,008 yards and seven touchdowns, with four games with ten or more catches, and five punt returns for 264 yards and two touchdowns. That's a 52.8-yard average after returning a punt 92 yards for a score in the 51-13 win over Baylor. He also had eight catches for 105 yards and a touchdown. He also has two touchdown passes for three passes.
Who’s Not … [FONT=verdana, arial, sans serif] San Jose State field goal kickers[/FONT]So far this year, San Jose State opponents have connected on 13 of 14 field goal attempts. Meanwhile, the Spartans have hit just two of 12 chances meaning the offense has had to get more aggressive near the red zone. Only two games this year have been decided by seven points or fewer, but with four WAC dates left, the potential to go to a second straight bowl game might depend on working out the problems.

Nebraska run defense
It's been here before and it continues to bear watching. Nebraska, home of the Blackshirts, and some of the nastiest defenses in recent college football history, is dead last in America in stopping the run. Out of all the issues surrounding head coach Bill Callahan, seeing the defense getting shoved around game after game has the Husker fans irked at the moment. In the last three games, Oklahoma State ran for 317 yards and five touchdowns, Texas A&M ran for 359 yards and four scores, and Texas, thanks to Jamaal Charles in the fourth quarter, tore off 364 yards and three scores. Take away the opening day win over Nevada, and in the last eight games, Nebraska is allowing 263 yards per game. To put this all into perspective, the second worst run defense in America is UAB's, and it's giving up 237.5 yards per game. Oregon State leads the nation allowing just 54.5 yards per game. Kansas, and the nation's 14th ranked running game, is up next.

Texas Tech QB Graham Harrell
And there goes that. One of the leaders in the Heisman race just two weeks ago, Harrell, who threw three interceptions in his first seven games, threw four picks in a 41-10 loss to Missouri, and four more interceptions in a 31-26 loss to Colorado. He had never thrown more than three picks in any of his previous 26 games.

UL Lafayette pass defense
It's not like the Sun Belt is full of high-octane passing offenses, but the UL Lafayette pass defense hasn't had any luck anyway. In four games of conference play, the Ragin' Cajuns have allowed an average of 316 yards per game and 14 touchdowns. Up next is Erik Ainge and Tennessee's passing game, which ranks second in the SEC averaging 262 yards per game.

Florida International pass efficiency
It's one thing to be the worst in the nation at something, but it's another to be in last by a huge margin. Notre Dame is the nation's second most inefficient passing team with a 94.3 rating. The quarterbacks are completing 55% of their passes for 153 yards per game with four touchdowns and eight interceptions. Florida leads the nation with a 175.5 passer rating. Dead last is Florida International with a passing efficiency rating of 72.57, a whopping 21.73 points lower than Notre Dame. Last year, the least efficient passing team in America was Illinois with a rating of 92.22. FIU was 118th with a rating of 94.14.

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The Jamaal Charles File

by HornsFan Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 06:53:27 PM EDT

There's been some debate about Jamaal Charles' future as a professional running back. I've been exchanging emails recently with Matt Miller, the owner of New Era Scouting, who happens to be a big Longhorn fan. I asked him for his file on Jamaal Charles, which he was happy to provide. Draft enthusiasts will enjoy Matt's deep file of in-depth player profiles and feature stories. Along with maintaining his site, Matt is an NFL and Arena League player scout, a soon-to-be blogger on all things draft for SB Nation, and a high school football coach.
Name: Jamaal Charles
School: Texas
Jersey #: 25
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 208 lbs
Best Fit Position/Role: Starting running back
Ideal Scheme/Role: I-formation, zone blocking scheme
<ins>General Traits:</ins>
Athletic Ability: Charles possesses rare speed and agility for a college running back. His ability to make plays in the open-field is a dangerous attribute. Charles can hit the hole with speed and power, but his real talent comes in the open field, where his track-style speed and moves come in to play.
Character/Leadership Ability: Charles has never been asked to be a leader on this team. Charles has taken a back-seat to senior leaders like Jon Scott and Michael Huff in previous seasons. With no clear-cut leader on the 2007 team, or one going in to the 2008 season, Charles could step up and become the leader this team needs. Has made several immature comments about playing time, his starting job and a perceived fumbling problem.
Despite other high-profile arrests this year in Austin, Charles has stayed out of trouble and is a model 3.0 student.
Competitive Nature/Work Ethic: Charles has dedicated himself to the football team after running track early in his career at Texas. The added time in the weight room and practice field are showing now, as Charles is much stronger and seems to understand the game more. Charles is becoming more of a work-horse back as the 2007 season wears to a close. His 216-yard fourth quarter against Nebraska shows that he has the ability to carry the load for a top football program.
Football Intelligence: Has greatly improved in this area over the past three seasons. Charles can still be a liability in picking up the blitz, but has good overall football intelligence. Plays very well in the zone blocking scheme and understands the nature of the offense.
Size: Has a great overall build, but is on the skinny side. Has worked to add bulk and size now that his track days are behind him. Can easily carry ten more pounds on his frame without losing speed or agility.
Toughness/Durability: Has not missed significant time due to injury. Is a tough player that will hang in through minor bumps and bruises. Does not take many hard shots from tacklers.
<ins>Position Specific:</ins>
Ball Protection: Has an issue with putting the ball on the ground. Must take better care of the football, especially late in games. It had been mentioned that Charles could lose playing time due to fumbles, but this has not happened.
Elusiveness/Feet: Has great agility, balance and natural awareness. Can stop and start on one step. Can make moves in the open field and has a dangerous stutter step. Could use his feet to become a better inside runner, as he still dances more than you’d like. Is best used in space on pitches and counters.
Pass Catching : Has not been used as a receiver as much as some would like. Charles has the athletic ability and speed to be a dangerous receiver out of the backfield, but is often kept in the backfield to block on passing downs. Could become a dangerous receiver in the NFL if used correctly.
Pass Blocking: Has become a more willing blocker, but will still miss easy assignments and is not physical enough to be trusted in the back field. Must become more willing and aware of the pass rush. Doesn’t have a good feel for pressure.
Power: Is not a power back by any means. Is not a very proven inside runner, but has not been given many opportunities to run between the tackles. Against Nebraska during the 2007 season, Charles was finally given the ball on off-tackles and zone plays, and was able to turn out 290 rushing yards. Wears down a defense with his speed, which makes him seem to be more powerful late in games.
Speed: Has Olympic style speed and could be one of the fastest players in college football this season. Charles, a former four-time All American sprinter, is able to out run most players on the field and is extremely dangerous when give the ball in space, or when he can find a crease in the defense. Is able to run away from defenders, but should become more of a straight-line runner instead of looking to bounce plays. Could become a very dangerous player in a scheme that allows him to hit the hole and make a cut back, or one that gets him the ball in space.
Vision: Has good vision at the second level. His tendency to try and bounce plays to the outside call in to question his willingness to run inside. However, the Texas offensive line has played poorly during the 2007 season, not leaving many holes on the inside and causing many to believe that Charles is looking to create something from nothing. His vision is on par with what you would like to see from an NFL running back.
General Comments: Before the 2007 season, many felt that Charles was a Heisman contender now that he was alone in the previously crowded Texas backfield. While most feel this season has been a disappointment due to a fumbling issue, Charles is still among the Nation’s leaders in rushing yards and yards per carry. His tremendous speed will make him a favorite among NFL scouts and decision makers. Offensive coordinators will be anxious to scheme around his speed and play-making talents.
Charles does need to improve his ball-handling and strength to become an every-down back in the NFL. His speed will only guarantee him a legit shot at becoming an NFL starter, his overall skills will determine if he is able to become a franchise running back.
Injury Concerns: None
Could be as good as: Reggie Bush, New Orleans Saints
Worst Case: Kevin Faulk, New England Patriots
Where he'll probably go: First Round (2009 NFL Draft)
Where he should go: Picks 25-45 (2008 NFL Draft) / Top 15 (2009 NFL Draft - if fumbling problems are improved)
 
Baton Rouge's Barroom Brawls
By outsidethesidelines Section: Football
Posted on Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 07:19:15 PM EDT


By this point I'm sure you have heard all of the rumors about the involvement of two LSU players -- more specifically Ryan Perrilloux and Derrick Odom -- in a barroom brawl at the Varsity in Baton Rouge, just off of the LSU campus. As it turns out, those rumors were generally valid, and the police report was released today.
You can click here for the official document, but I'll sum up the relevant facts in short-hand:
Baton Rouge city ordinances, much like those in Tuscaloosa, require all bars to close by 2:00 am, and on Friday night the Varsity attempted to close at that time. According to the bouncers and the owner of the Varsity, Perrilloux and Odom refused to leave when the bar closed, and eventually they were physically forced out the back exit of the bar. Once in the parking lot, a fight broke out between the bouncers and the small group that included Perrilloux and Odom. The owner of the establishment told the police officer that one of the males in the group began saying that he would go get a gun and come back and shoot the bar's employees. According to the report, Perrilloux was the most confrontational person in the group.
According to Perrilloux, however, he and his pregnant girlfriend -- and yes, apparently his pregnant girlfriend was in a bar at 2:00 am -- were being harassed by the security staff inside the club around closing time, and later said that in the parking lot it seemed like his small group was fighting off approximately 50 people. Derrick Odom -- who, too, was in the bar with his pregnant girlfriend, and yes you read that correctly -- had a similar take. Perrilloux said no one in his group had any weapons, and essentially played the race card by stating that they were targeted because of their skin color.
As for the damaged car that was supposedly all beat up, that's not the case. A woman later called in with a complaint that her left rear quarter panel was dented apparently as a result of the fight. She was not looking to file a complaint, but simply to have to the incident documented, presumably so she could file a claim for insurance purposes to have the car repaired.
In response to all of this, LSU head coach Les Miles said today that neither Perrilloux or Odom would practice this week, and it seems highly unlikely that neither will play this weekend. Long story short, those two guys will be sitting in Baton Rouge this Saturday at 4:00 pm.
I'll have more up on the injuries, arrests, and suspensions regarding how they impact the game in a day or two, but I figured that since some concrete information actually came to light it would be worthwhile to have something up on it. Stay tuned.
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Perrilloux and Odom Likely to Sit Against Tide
By Todd Section: Football
Posted on Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 07:00:42 PM EDT


From Yahoo! Sports:

Backup quarterback Ryan Perrilloux and linebacker Derrick Odom are not expected to play for No. 3 LSU against No. 17 Alabama on Saturday because of their part in a nightclub brawl. Coach Les Miles said Monday they will not practice this week.
"We will prepare to play without these guys," Miles said.

At least now LSU fans have something more concrete to worry about than refs.

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</td></tr><tr><td align="center">It just keeps getting worse and worse...</td></tr></tbody></table> Update [2007-10-29 19:16:18 by Todd]:
Nose Guard sent us this link to Louisiana TV station WAFB's site which has the police report "narrative" from the incident.
 
Notre Dame to rake in $1.3 million from BCS this year

<script type="text/javascript"><!-- google_ad_client = "pub-0237893561790135"; google_alternate_color = "ffffff"; google_ad_width = 300; google_ad_height = 250; google_ad_format = "300x250_as"; google_ad_type = "text_image"; //2007-06-19: entries google_ad_channel = "0603066557"; google_color_border = "FFFFFF"; google_color_bg = "FFFFFF"; google_color_link = "003399"; google_color_text = "333333"; google_color_url = "999999"; //--> </script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"> </script><iframe name="google_ads_frame" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/ads?client=ca-pub-0237893561790135&dt=1193703380015&lmt=1193703379&alt_color=ffffff&format=300x250_as&output=html&correlator=1193703380015&channel=0603066557&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fanblogs.com%2Fnotre_dame%2F007242.php&color_bg=FFFFFF&color_text=333333&color_link=003399&color_url=999999&color_border=FFFFFF&ad_type=text_image&ref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Freader%2Fview%2F&cc=100&ga_vid=1546096358.1193703380&ga_sid=1193703380&ga_hid=1734860756&ga_fc=true&flash=9&u_h=768&u_w=1280&u_ah=738&u_aw=1280&u_cd=32&u_tz=-420&u_his=1&u_java=true&u_nplug=26&u_nmime=104" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" vspace="0" hspace="0" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="250" scrolling="no" width="300"></iframe> Just a friendly reminder: Everyone's favorite one-win team will receive a check for approximately $1.3 million dollars this year for not playing in the Bowl Championship Series.
From the BCS Media Guide:
Notre Dame is guaranteed 1/66th of the net revenues after expenses, or approximately $1.3 million. Notre Dame will receive $4.5 million when its team is a participant.​
You will recall that Notre Dame renegotiated its BCS agreement in 2005 to guarantee a payout, even if the Irish did not play in a BCS game, in exchange for a lower guarantee in years when the team did qualify.
 
Leach says Woods demoted to scout team

<!-- BLOG TITLE END --> <!-- BLOG BODY BEGIN --> Monday, October 29, 2007, 02:03 PM
Mike Leach made it clear Monday that he doesn't plan to change the running back picture this week. Leach said Shannon Woods is working with the scout team, and he'll go with true freshman Aaron Crawford again.
 
Wisconsin's top back injured foot against Indiana

Posted: Monday October 29, 2007 5:33PM; Updated: Monday October 29, 2007 5:33PM
MADISON, Wis. (AP) -- Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema said feature running back P.J. Hill should be available when the Badgers play No. 1 Ohio State on Saturday. But, Bielema himself needed some clarification on Hill's leg injury.
"A head coach should probably not talk after the game," Bielema said Monday. "During the course of the game [the trainers] said to me, 'Coach, it looks like he's got a bruise right on top of his plate where he broke it his freshman year.' I thought he broke his foot, I didn't remember him breaking his leg (his freshman year)."
Hill hobbled off the field in the first quarter after scoring on fourth-and-1 against Indiana. X-rays on Hill's left foot and leg after the game showed no broken bones. An MRI on Sunday revealed a bruise around the plate in the lower leg of the Badgers' bruising back, Bielema said.
"It was very, very sensitive and sore," he said. "We're encouraged that there wasn't any structural damage, just a bruise and hopefully it's something we can get through in a short amount of time."
Hill did not practice Sunday, and players were off Monday before preparing for the Buckeyes (9-0, 5-0). Bielema said he's not sure when Hill will practice this week.
Wisconsin (7-2, 3-2 Big Ten) went on to beat the Hoosiers 33-3 without Hill. The team scored three more rushing touchdowns, but two of those were from Lance Smith, who is suspended from road games after an altercation this summer and will not play at Ohio State.
If Hill can't go, the Badgers will have to rely on freshman Zach Brown, who ran for the fourth score against Indiana. He established career highs with 14 carries for 40 yards and has emerged out of a deep running back class from Bielema's most recent recruiting efforts.
"My feeling is you're going to see a very excited No. 30, whether he gets one rep, 30 carries, whatever it is," Bielema said.
Wisconsin relies on its power rushing attack with a line that averages 314 pounds to go along with two big fullbacks, Chris Pressley (259 pounds) and Bill Rentmeester (246 pounds).
Pressley and Rentmeester also were ailing after Saturday's victory over Indiana, but Bielema said they were fine, too, just beaten up and tired after the game.
"It's a physical position, the fullback, especially what we're asking them to do," Bielema said.
Hill, who slimmed down from a year ago, ran behind the group last season for 1,569 yards and received Big Ten freshman of the year honors. He has 1,066 yards so far this season to rank ninth on the Badgers' all-time rushing list. He has 29 rushing touchdowns in 22 career games.
After losses to Illinois and Penn State, the Badgers beat Northern Illinois and Indiana by a combined score of 77-6. The defense and the overpowering running game have been the biggest reasons for the turnaround, with the Badgers improving to 36-1 since 1998 when holding a time of possession advantage of at least nine minutes.
Linebacker DeAndre Levy was named the Big Ten defensive player of the week for his most recent effort after he made eight tackles, had a sack, pass break up, a forced fumble and a fumble recovery.
"He didn't play well in the Illinois game, and he knew it," Bielema said. "He basically called himself out in the media and said that he will make himself better. From that point forward, (he) has."
Smith, who has 354 yards on 55 carries this season, was expected to again be Hill's primary backup after running for 345 yards in his freshman year. Bielema had seemed hopeful during his weekly TV show Sunday that Smith's suspension might be lifted, but he said Monday there wasn't much chance of that happening.
"I don't think so," Bielema said. "I've been basically in discussions with different university personnel and been told to remain quiet about the issue. So, I'll remain quiet."
Smith pleaded guilty to misdemeanor battery and disorderly conduct charges last week. He was charged after a fight with his girlfriend last summer.
 
SAM KELLER OUT FOR YEAR. CALLAHAN SPEAKS.

Greetings, nincompoops. My name is Bill Callahan. I’m hear to speak to you regarding the shoulder injury of Sam Keller, our current starting quarterback. He’s out for the rest of the season, a pitiable travesty of fate for our beloved signal-caller, my prize progeny of my prodigious West Coast offense, a distributor of dextrous deadly football deliveries from his deft digits, oh, a light! Yes, a lustrous beam of sunshine into my drab, forlorn tenure upon the alien corn of this disconsolate prairie.
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Nebraska football, 2007.
(Oh, Cortez. Was Keats right? Did you feel exhilaration staring upon that vast, cerulean carpet? Would that I have anything but the oceans of my unappreciated genius to drown my sorrows in, vanquished conquistador! My voyage has taken me only further into this damned moonscape called America without a speck of Incan gold for reward. Unless you count my multimillion dollar salary, of course.)
I can espy from the slackening jaws and empty, unthinking stares of your simian countenances that I’ve yet again managed to blind you with the incandescence of my thoughts. Staring at the sun seems mean next to my thoughts, no? Well, let’s just put it in the pidgin you can understand.
KELLER OUCHIE! HURT OUCHIE WAAAAAAHHH!! NO TALK SPECIFICS!!! JOE GANZ THROW BALL HUSKER WAY HEAPUM TOUCHDOWNS NOT RESIGNING MMKAY? OW MY BALLZ!
(throws candy and beer…reporters scatter on the floor in a frenzy)
There. Having debased myself for the handful of cowrie shells I slave for each day here in the third circle of hell, I bid thee adieu, you gag-faced giblet-gobbling gomerals. Good day and die swiftly, shitkickers.
 
Coach Osborne is a bad liar.

There's no decision that has been made on whether to fire Coach Callahan. Yeah, right.

"New coaching staff....". Oops! My bad.

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SEC sacks leader punished indefinitely by team

Posted: Monday October 29, 2007 1:53PM; Updated: Monday October 29, 2007 1:53PM
JACKSON, Miss. (AP) -- Mississippi coach Ed Orgeron said Monday he has suspended defensive end Greg Hardy for a violation of team rules.
Orgeron said the suspension is indefinite and offered few details, though he did say later that the Southeastern Conference's sack leader was not in legal trouble.
"I think I have a very, very disciplined team," Orgeron said. "I think the guys know if they violate team rules there are consequences."
Hardy leads the SEC with eight sacks and 15.5 tackles for loss. He was left home and did not play in Saturday's 17-3 loss at Auburn. The Rebels play Northwestern State of the Football Championship Subdivision (formerly Division I-AA) on Saturday in Oxford.
Hardy, perhaps the team's best athlete and a young star in the SEC, had started just four of eight games before the Auburn game with no explanation from Orgeron.
Hardy is at least the third Ole Miss player to lose starts for apparent disciplinary reasons. Offensive lineman Corey Actis and John Jerry were both demoted earlier this season.
When asked if a "trend" of discipline problems was developing, Orgeron said he would not even repeat the word.
"As I look across the country I see guys getting arrested, I see guys being put in jail," Orgeron said. "I haven't seen any of that with my players. I think we run a very strict, disciplined program here. I feel I have a very well-behaved team."
 
PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE PAC TEN GAME BEHIND THE CURTAIN. NOTHING TO SEE HERE...
By SMQ
Posted on Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 01:01:51 PM EDT


Update [2007-10-29 18:53:38 by SMQ]: I couldn't be happier for a post to be rendered moot so quickly:

  • Fox Sports Net and ESPN have agreed to distribute Saturday's game between No. 6-ranked Arizona State and No. 4-ranked Oregon at Eugene to a national audience. Originally scheduled to be televised locally in Oregon and Arizona, the matchup of Top 10 teams will be televised to a national audience through the agreement of the two networks. FSN will air its production on FSN Arizona, FSN West and FSN Northwest in the state of Oregon. The Oregon Sports Network will distribute the game in the state of Oregon. ESPN will originate its own production to air in all other U.S. television markets not covered by the FSN telecast, including the state of Washington and Northern California. ESPN College GameDay also will originate from Eugene.
    - - -
Kudos to the twin Evil Empires of Disney and Murdoch for giving the people what they want. We will gratefully lick the blood of sweatshop children from their hands in hell. You may still enjoy this morning's diatribe...
- - -
The following unranked teams according to the latest BCS standings will be playing on national television or one of the major networks this weekend:

<table cellpadding="3" cellspacing="3"> <tbody><tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td>ESPN</td> <td>Georgia Tech vs. #11 Virginia Tech</td> <td>7:45 ET Thursday</td> </tr> <tr> <td>ESPN2</td> <td>Nevada at Fresno State</td> <td>8:00 ET Friday</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td>ESPN</td> <td>Purdue at Penn State</td> <td>Noon ET</td> </tr> <tr> <td>ESPN2</td> <td>Iowa at Northwestern</td> <td>Noon ET</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td>Fox Sports</td> <td>Nebraska vs. #8 Kansas</td> <td>12:30 ET</td> </tr> <tr> <td>VERSUS</td> <td>Kansas State at Iowa State</td> <td>12:30 ET</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td>NBC</td> <td>Navy at Notre Dame</td> <td>2:30 ET</td> </tr> <tr> <td>ABC/ESPN</td> <td>Cincinnati at #18 So. Florida</td> <td>3:30 ET</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td>ABC/ESPN</td> <td>Oklahoma State vs. #15 Texas</td> <td>3:30 ET</td> </tr> <tr> <td>ABC/ESPN</td> <td>Michigan State vs. #12 Michigan</td> <td>3:30 ET</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(192, 192, 192) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td>ABC/ESPN</td> <td>UCLA at Arizona</td> <td>3:30 ET</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Fox Sports</td> <td>Colorado vs. #9 Missouri</td> <td>6:30 ET</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td>ABC </td> <td>Florida State at #2 Boston College</td> <td>8:00 ET</td> </tr> <tr> <td>ABC </td> <td>Texas A&M at #6 Oklahoma</td> <td>8:00 ET</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(192, 192, 192) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td>ESPN or ESPN2</td> <td>Oregon State at #19 USC</td> <td>8:00 ET</td> </tr> <tr> <td>ESPN or ESPN2</td> <td>South Carolina at Arkansas</td> <td>8:00 ET</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(192, 192, 192) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td>Fox Sports</td> <td>Wash. State at California</td> <td>10:00 ET</td> </tr> </tbody></table> There are two games between ranked teams. One is LSU at Alabama, which can be seen nationally on CBS at 5 p.m. Eastern. The other is a top five matchup with direct implications on the Pac Ten championship, the Rose Bowl and in all likelihood the mythical championship game, Arizona State at Oregon, which can be seen...if you live in Arizona or Oregon...on Fox Sports Arizona or Fox Sports Northwest, neither of which, unless you live in Arizona or Oregon, you have probably ever heard. Otherwise, you can order the game on pay-per-view through ESPN Gameplan.
This wouldn’t be a big deal in 1974, when there was no such thing as cable and basically no way viewers couldn’t miss the biggest game of the weekend – and, based on the records, rankings and potential implications here, one of the three or four biggest games of the season – if it wasn’t in their particular region. Cable TV more than anything else has made the sport a truly national game over the last two decades, has found a way to get the best teams and best games in front of consumers, yet still finds itself in a situation that somehow gives us the three mediocre, of-regional-interest-only Pac Ten games highlighted above instead of the one that might draw and hold a national audience. Which will instead be watching USC and Oregon State jockeying for Sun Bowl position.
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Dennis Erickson wants you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell: “I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!”
- - -
I understand these things are worked out well in advance, when it’s assumed that USC and Cal and possibly even UCLA – to draw the L.A. market if nothing else – are the marquee teams. But on this point, Oregon partisan Dave from Addicted to Quack is right, as many Pac Ten fans have been on this subject: the conference’s TV package is a travesty. Outside of FSN, which is frankly second rate, airs games past midnight in the East and still puts priority on regional coverage (sometimes preempting games at bizarre times) because it draws almost no games of national interest, the Pac Ten has had six games on national television this year: Tennessee at Cal, Oregon at Michigan, USC at Nebraska, USC at Washington, Washington State at USC, USC at Notre Dame. Dramatic barnburners none, and good teams from Arizona State, UCLA and Oregon State are nowhere to be found. They’re all likely to win eight games, yet remain a mystery to most of the country. This will never happen to the SEC or Big Ten, each of which gets about half its conference to a national audience on a weekly basis. Hell, Southern Miss has played on ESPN four times in the last five weeks – people who pay attention are no doubt more familiar right now with pick-throwin maestro Stephen Reaves than they are with Rudy Carpenter. (I feel for these people, and, I hope, they for me) Dave is also right that this isn’t only a matter of getting consumers the best games, but getting voters the teams they’re casting ballots on. This is, unfortunately, still a sport that makes postseason decisions based on prestige, and more than voters simply not being able to watch the Pac Ten’s contenders very often (or, in Arizona State’s case, at all), it’s simply not prestigious to play all of your games on Fox Sports or one of its regional sentinels. The biggest games have always been on the networks or, these days, at least ESPN, for everyone to watch. These games are shown in press boxes, where writers can pay some attention (and they do). Everything else is extraneous, a luxury for the diehard fan who can’t miss his mediocre team or doesn’t mind watching the chaffe, as long as it’s football. But these games don’t matter in the national picture, they’re just scores, grist for the mill when it comes time to submit the ballot. The real contenders, you don’t have to guess or search for them – networks clambor to put them in front of any set of eyes that care to see. How many voters subscribe to ESPN Gameplan? How many of them give a second thought to any of the games on it?
It will help this week that Gameday is going to be on hand at Autzen, so it will be that much harder to ignore. There’s still no reason anyone who might be interested should have an excuse for ignoring one of the games of the year to begin with.
 
PETE CARROLL’S ENCHANTED GRIDIRON GROTTO

The lightning review of all that you need to know about the past, present, and immediate future of college football, written on a waterproof laptop from the warm waters of Pete Carroll’s Enchanted Gridiron Grotto. Mark Sanchez is three feet away from us eating sushi off the belly of a naked woman. This program does things right, man.
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Fathoms below: that’s where turnovers will get you.
Ohio State remains ploddingly, predictably excellent, and it isn’t their fault that no one likes them for it besides the people of the Sovereign People’s Republic of Uzbuckistan. Ohio State’s excellence has transcended the interesting. Losing one game in the past two years will do that to a team, but so will going into a festive, decidedly amped Beaver Stadium and bringing the demo team with you.
If you did watch the game, skip this paragraph unless you’re a Buckeye fan who, like Georgia fans, can’t get enough masturbatory praise in this morning following a weekend of asskicking in the correct direction. The results of the game never teetered for longer than a suspenseful minute or two in any direction but Ohio State’s. Time of possession: 37 minutes, 52 seconds. This was heavyweight boxing, with efficient and impressive control from minute one. With the exception of one well-composed drive from Penn State, Ohio State reduced Penn State to a null set of football variables in a half.
The rest was cold, calculated math in motion 26 passes, 48 rushes, 453 yards of offense, and a murderous 24 first downs. They took out a deed on the game by scoring early, locking down the clock with Beanie Wells, and running out the rest in an act of asphyxiating gridiron strategy that had Woody Hayes punching out spirits in the afterlife. We were wrong about this team–they are very, very good. Perhaps not great, but certainly good enough to win a BCS game, and certainly good enough to be the champion.
That said, they could lose to Illinois, Michigan, or Wisconsin, because this is 2007, and you may not have your apples without razorblades this year no matter who your team is, trick-or-treater.
As noted on EDSBS Live, though, the worst part about your new football overlords the Ohio State Buckeyes is the medical problem created by a Tressel-dominated universe: a smitten, slobbering Brent Musburger attached firmly to Tressel’s balls. We’ve never, ever heard an announcer so gobsmacked-in-love as Musburger is with Tressel, who got loving descriptions of his “firm, sculpted buttocks that leapt up and down in his gray slacks like so much springy weasel-flesh” from Brent all night. If you are playing the Musburger drinking game, eschew taking a sip every time he washes El Sweatervest’s balls; you’ll be dead by the third quarter if you do.
Ditto for Oregon, who turned the corner on USC on Saturday in a physical game they won on the ground. Dennis Dixon, if he played in the media corridors of L.A., Texas, or the Midwest, would be getting naked women and baked hams thrown in his path for the job he’s doing at quarterback. He should be getting ham and women, actually, since he’s running Chip Kelly’s spread offense to perfection with Jonathan Stewart in the backfield. A more dangerous zone-read combo does not appear in our historical database. If having the coach’s wife accost reporters in the press box is what gets Oregon the edge it’s lacked since Harrington-mania, then give the woman a taser, a gin and tonic, and a flak jacket and let her loose in there.
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Nebraska likes its defeat with extra vinegar and ball-smashing, please. We kept an eye on the Nebraska/Texas game and nearly spit up our Guinness when we saw the line after three quarters: 17-9 with Nebraska up on Texas at home.
Guinness was spit–or at least dribbled down the chin and into the lap–when we looked up and saw Nebraska’s defense suddenly remember how inept they truly were and allow Jamaal Charles to run for 216 yards in the fourth quarter. THAT’S 216 YARDS IN THE FOURTH DAMN QUARTER. At least Florida’s defense had the decorum to suck consistently throughout the span of a game; Nebraska’s played the cruelest trick of all. They gave fans a glimmer of hope before the light at the end of the tunnel turned out to be an oncoming train named Jamaal.
Bill Callahan: FAIL.
Seconded FAIL: Rutgers, who run-first, run-second West Virginia embarrassed at home 31-3. The fail isn’t even on Mike Teel, who played acceptable football, but on Taiquan Underwood, the Rutgers receiver who dropped two touchdowns along with two other passes in the course of making Rutgers’ offense look one-dimensional and flat. Steve Slaton actually made hairs on the back of the neck stand up when he cutback on his touchdown run in the second quarter–a quick cut, everyone else moving at several frames slower a second, and executing a perfect Walter Payton mule-kick-step before racing right for a TD.
Rutgers’ music coordinators deserve some award for lack of irony glands, too–down by multiple score with no hope, they kept blasting the opening riff from “For Whom the Bell Tolls” over and over again, unaware that to the unbiased observer, the 3rd and shorts (inevitably converted by the Mountaineers) only looked like utter doom for the Scarlet Knights. It’s Jersey–play “Livin’ On a Prayer” when you’re down that much. It’s much better than heralding your own demise with Metallica.
We’ve said all we care to say about the Georgia-Florida game–what, “Wilford Brimley Bukakke Party” left something to the imagination–but a word about the celebration and subsequent penalties following UGA’s first score. See video below in case you missed it.

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<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xj_yqJtmE2w&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></object></p> Georgia wanted a psychological edge, and they got it–Richt made the call, thus confirming our suspicions that Evil Richt was coaching this game for the Bulldogs. (The goatee should have tipped everyone off to this fact.) Terence Moore, wrong as Terence Moore always is, rolled out a crapulent column about how stupid this was, and other, far more intelligent people complained, as well.
A better story is to write about Knowshon Moreno, and how Richt’s bizarre and persistent insistence on juggling three running backs was defeated by injuries, forcing him to use one badass the whole game who got in a rhythm and didn’t stop dancing until he had racked up 188 yards and 3 tds. Or you could comment on Florida’s youth and yet another extreme result of that youth: arm-tackling, abhorrent pass coverage, and a complete lack of pass rush. Or you could say nice game, mister, pack up your shit, and go home and figure out how you’re going to make freshman corners and wrongheaded safeties cover for the next game.
The word class means nothing–it’s unquantifiable, it’s fuzzy, and it’s all too often cited by the team picking their teeth up off the turf following a game. Rules govern behavior on the field, and if you’re willing to flaunt them and still pay the price, it’s less a matter of “class,” and more one of cost/benefit and gamesmanship. There’s time on the clock, try to score; if you’re willing to take a 30 yard penalty, go ahead and go out there and send the mob. Whatever.
We could care less as a fan. In fact, we laughed when the mob came out–it was exuberant, silly, and barnstorming theater from a team that came ready to lose it all in one fight rather than take yet another beating from Florida. Losers complain about officiating and “lack of class.” You know who else complains about lack of class? The aristocrat with his head in the guillotine just before his execution.
Finally, Arizona State may be our pick to win the national title on sentiment alone. What would be better than a sober, tight-assed Jim Tressel facing the pitchfork-wielding bon vivant Erickson on the opposite sidelines? It would literally be the Devil versus Tressell. A year ago, Erickson was mouldering in the cold spaces of the Kibbie Dome for a 3-8 Vandals team and likely scoping retirement properties in Mexico; now he’s kicking Tae-bo moves on the sidelines in Tempe and positioned to not only crash the party in the Pac-10, but possibly dictate national championship lines. ONE HUNDRED COCKTAILS to you, sir–we can only hope this delays your inevitable death by crashing golf cart into Volcano at the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl by at least two years.
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<table><tbody><tr><td colspan="3" class="storytitle"> 5 Thoughts - Colts, Pats, & The College Game </td> </tr> <tr> <td class="primaryimage" valign="top">
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New England WR Randy Moss
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</td> <td valign="top"> <table bgcolor="#f5f5f5" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1" width="60%"> <tbody><tr valign="top"> <td nowrap="nowrap" valign="middle">By Staff
CollegeFootballNews.com
Posted Oct 29, 2007
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Why the showdown by the Colts vs. Randy Moss and the Patriots proves the college game is better, the bounceback of Michigan and Mississippi State, and the lack of open bowl slots in the latest 5 Thoughts.
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Five Thoughts: Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4
Week 5 | Week 6 | Week 7 | Week 8

Of course, I do really, really want to see this game
[FONT=verdana, arial, sans serif][SIZE=-2]By Pete Fiutak [/SIZE][/FONT]
1. You want proof that college football is better than the pro version? New England Patriots vs. Indianapolis Colts.

I'm an American. I'm an man. I'm 40. Actually, I'm 37, but my inner Mike Gundy got the best of me. I like football in all forms, and that includes the NFL when it's done well. But there's a reason I work in college football. There's a mega-storyline every Saturday, and teams don't have to travel to London to get a fired up atmosphere to play in.

With the on-field NFL product close to unwatchable this year without a die-hard hometown passion, a fantasy interest, or "investment" to attend to, the world is now ready to go nuts over arguably the greatest regular season matchup in pro football history, or what we in the college game like to call just another Saturday.

Because of all the rivalries, regular season games that actually mean something, and all the nationwide interest from Eugene to Columbus to Boston to Baton Rouge to Tempe, and everywhere in between, it's impossible to not be into this year's college football season with an intensity that no sport can match, and it's because of the set up. Just remember this when you're begging for college football to have a big playoff.

I'm for a four-team, plus-one style of playoff, but without some end of the year gimmick like every other sport has, we get to watch weekly battles that have a true sense of urgency. We get to watch Matt Ryan pull off a five minute miracle to beat Virginia Tech and know that we saw something that will be talked about by Eagle and Hokie fans forever. We get to see a Beaver Stadium crowd 100,000+ strong do everything humanly possible to try to will their team to a win over the number one team in America. We get to see USC frantically try to save its season on a final drive against Oregon. We get to see Georgia pull out all the stops to overcome its nemesis. We get to see Les Miles go for an unreal play call to keep a championship dream alive. We get games that mean something in a sports world full of pointless exercises in athleticism masked as entertainment.

By the way, the NBA regular season starts this week.





Circle of life, Big Ten style
By Richard Cirminiello
[FONT=verdana, arial, sans serif]
2
[/FONT]. In what will surely go down as one of the strangest bookends to a regular season in college football history, Michigan is going to beat Ohio State on Nov. 17, coming full circle on a season that began with the infamous loss to Appalachian State on Sept. 1. You can just feel this coming, as the Wolverines surged to a seventh straight win on Saturday afternoon. Sure, the opponent was lowly Minnesota, but the underlying cause for optimism was that Michigan stayed on the tracks, despite not having both Mike Hart and Chad Henne for an entire game for the first in their careers. While Hart and Henne rested, the Wolverines maintained momentum and bolstered their depth, getting solid production from freshman QB Ryan Mallett and sophomore backs Brandon Minor and Carlos Brown. The confidence is building. The stars are getting healthier. WR Mario Manningham is back to being an integral part of the attack. And the defense, so maligned during the 0-2 start, has climbed all the way up to No. 3 in the league, creating turnovers faster than a French baker and not allowing a meaningful second-half touchdown during the seven-game winning streak. Michigan is all the way back, its respectability back intact and its to-do list now including a trip to Pasadena that seemed impossible two months ago. Ohio State is a worthy No. 1 team, coming off an impressive win over Penn State Saturday night. Its perfect season, however, is going to end in Ann Arbor by a Michigan team that’s in the process of authoring one of the great turnarounds in school history. Ponder this: When the dust settles in January, what would qualify as the bigger shocker, the Wolverines losing to a team from the Southern Conference, or the Wolverines rebounding from an 0-2 start and the absolute depths of despair to win the Big Ten Conference? Not as obvious as you might think. The Dogs bite back[SIZE=-1]By [/SIZE] [SIZE=-1] John Harris[/SIZE]

3. On the opening night of the season, the Mississippi State Bulldogs had the national television stage all to themselves. It was the fourth opener for head coach Sylvester Croom and one in which his Bulldogs needed to make a statement. After a 45-0 whitewash, the Bulldogs appeared headed for another rough season. However, along the way, the Bulldogs shrugged off that loss and became a viable bowl game threat in the SEC West. They beat Auburn at Auburn earlier this season and beat new flavor of the month Kentucky in Lexington last Saturday. They’re not the most fun team in the world to watch, but you know what, Croom, his staff and his players are winning games and are now one game away from being bowl eligible. It may not sound like much, but Kentucky was in the exact same situation last year and was ranked in the top ten earlier this season.

That night after the LSU loss, I felt for Sly and his staff. The lead-up to the season came crashing down on all of them and it was painful to watch, unless you were an LSU fan, that is. But, coming back from that defeat winning five of the next eight games has put them in a position to make some noise. It won’t be BCS or even New Year’s Day game noise, but just being in the postseason would be a sweet song to hear this December for Sly and Bulldog nation. Open bowling
[FONT=verdana, arial, sans serif][SIZE=-2]By Pete Fiutak
[/FONT][/SIZE]
4. Call this a preemptive whine, and I’m doing it now because I know I’m going to end up having to hear the screaming in about three weeks.

There aren’t enough open bowl slots.

I’ve ranted on this before when it looked like the Big Ten would miss out on getting a team or two in, but now it also looks like the SEC, and potentially the Big East, will have teams on the outside looking in.

The problem is with the at-large bowl slots. There aren’t any. Navy gets the bid to the Poinsettia Bowl if eligible, and it’ll be eligible, meaning that the only possible opening anywhere will be the Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl, and that’s only because there probably won’t be enough Pac 10 teams available.

Unless something crazy happens, the SEC will likely have ten bowl eligible teams (Georgia, Tennessee, South Carolina, Florida, Kentucky, LSU, Alabama, Auburn, Mississippi State and Arkansas), and with an upset, Vanderbilt could make it 11 (or ten if MSU or Arkansas crashes). There are slots for eight SEC teams to get in, meaning there could be three teams without a place to play if two teams don’t get into the BCS.

Hey Commodores, congratulations on having a shot at your first bowl since 1982, but you’re out for Miami University, the team you just beat easily. Instead of seeing Darren McFadden play his final college game before he leaves early for the NFL, you could be getting UTEP.

The bowls are always beautiful in their own way, and there are always wild surprises when you least expect them. Let’s just hope the matchups get people more excited than the average Sunday night Conference USA game.









Never work with children or animals
By Matthew Zemek

5.
In a season straight from the loony bin, where just about everything makes precious little sense, you need to stop and ask yourself one simple question.

No, it's not Dirty Harry's "Do you feel lucky?"

The question is, "How come we haven't had seasons like this before?"

Seriously: with 19- and 20-year-old man-children playing before throngs of 60,000-100,000 people under withering scrutiny and intense pressure, why aren't more seasons this crazy?

The dysfunctional and disjointed nature of the 2007 college football season should only make all of us that much more respectful toward the coaches who have been able to win so consistently over an extended period of time. In this era of "what have you done for me lately?", we actually need to acquire a fundamental posture which instead asks, "what have you done for others over a long period of time?"

When you consider how hard it really is to survive a single college football season, the work of some of the sport's elder statesmen should earn them a certain degree of immunity from particularly ruthless forms of criticism.

The particular example I have in mind is Frank Beamer. Without embellishing the point, I'll say it simply: a number of Virginia Tech fans wanted Beamer to retire after Thursday's loss against Boston College. You don't have to be a philosophy major or a behavioral science professor to realize that such an outlook is incredibly sick and twisted. (If you even have to think a little bit on this matter, you need to see a therapist immediately.)

Elswhere in the country, I'm sure Pete Carroll is catching a little extra heat at USC. We all know how much crap Lloyd Carr has had to endure at Michigan. Hey, even Joe Paterno found himself under fire a few seasons ago when Penn State lost more games than it won. Philip Fulmer won a national title in Knoxville, but he's being savaged at Tennessee. (The irony of Fulmer's situation is that the current UT coach came to power only because he muscled out Johnny Majors in the early 1990s.) And of course, Larry Coker got run out of town in Miami last year, despite being a first-class individual who had almost no real missteps in first three seasons at the U. Doing a good job doesn't buy you much leverage or empathy these days in the world of college football. It's a shame.

Just remember: when your team reaches the mountaintop only to fall from grace a few years later, cut your coach some slack. With this season giving every coach a bundle of gray hairs, the least we can do is commend our more tenured coaches for winning as much as they have. Current frailties should only magnify the past; instead, far too many fans cite past glories as reasons to view present-day failures as unacceptable.

Stop getting it backwards, people. You try coaching 19-year-olds and discovering how little control you have when gameday rolls around.


</td></tr></tbody></table>
 
Yvenson Bernard Listed as "Questionable" for USC
By Jake Section: Football
Posted on Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 09:57:21 AM EDT



idaho.jpg

The man who missed last year's 33-31 upset over USC could find himself on the sidelines for the second consecutive year-- this time with a shoulder injury.
Last year, Yvenson Bernard suffered an ankle injury in the Arizona game that kept him sidelined for USC. This year, a left shoulder injury he suffered in the second quarter of the Stanford game could be serious enough for him to watch the game next to Sammie Stroughter on the sidelines. Yvenson will undergo an MRI today.
"We're exploring the possibilities of him playing," Riley told the media last night. Riley also said that Bernard had some pain in his right shoulder that was bothering him before he got hit on the left side.
Matthew Sieverson and Clinton Polk stepped up as back-ups in the Stanford game. Sieverson rushed for 68 yards on 16 carries, and Polk had 8 carries for 27 yards. James Rodgers could also helped out-- OSU seemed to be trying out a package on Saturday that put James in as a halfback.
So, hopefully the MRI goes well. We'll tell you the results as soon as they come out.
GO BEAVERS!
 
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]USC report: Spurrier plans to start Mitchell against Razorbacks

Published: Monday, October 29, 2007 - 2:00 am


By Rick Scoppe
COLUMBIA BUREAU
rscoppe@greenvillenews.com

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[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica]COLUMBIA -- University of South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier didn't leave any question Sunday about who will start at quarterback against Arkansas.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]"Right now we're planning on starting Blake," Spurrier said, referring to fifth-year senior Blake Mitchell, who came off the bench and played his best game of the year in USC's 27-24 loss at Tennessee in overtime.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]It will be Mitchell's first start since LSU on Sept. 22.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]But Spurrier said the rotation could change if Mitchell struggles. Instead of redshirt freshman Chris Smelley, who had started the last five games, being Mitchell's backup, Spurrier said sophomore Tommy Beecher could get a look.<table align="left" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="160"> <tbody><tr> <td valign="top" width="160">

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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]Beecher hasn't thrown a pass in a game since Sept. 15.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]"We'll probably ... see what he can do," Spurrier said. "He hasn't played in a long time. We've got to find out if he can do anything maybe before the year's over. So there's a chance, I don't know, if Blake gets knocked out of the game, we'll put Beecher in."[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]Mitchell was 31 of 45 for 290 yards and one touchdown along with an interception after coming in midway through the second quarter for Smelley. Smelley was three of five for 40 yards and an interception.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]"Blake came in and played a beautiful game," tailback Cory Boyd said, "after being under pressure and being out for a couple of games."[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]Still ranked [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]Despite two straight losses, USC is still ranked in the top 25, although the Gamecocks did drop out of the BCS standings and are falling fast in the polls.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]The Gamecocks have gone from sixth to 23rd in this week's Associated Press poll. USC is No. 25 in the USA Today coaches' poll released Sunday.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]"That's good to know we're still ranked," Spurrier said. "That was one of our goals this year to be ranked in the top 25. So we need to win at least two of the next three, hopefully all of them if we can. But we need to get back on the winning track real soon."[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]After Arkansas, USC plays host to Florida on Nov. 10 and then meets Clemson University of Nov. 24 after an open date in the regular-season finale for the bitter rivals.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]Spurrier superlatives [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]USC set several highs on offense under Spurrier against UT. They were: most plays (89), most first downs (31), most pass attempts (50), most completions (34) and most time of possession (36:25).[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]Also, the 330 yards passing and 501 yards total offense is the most against an SEC team in 22 games. Both were also season highs for the Gamecocks, who were averaging 225.5 and 340.5 coming into the game.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]The passing yards tied for the second most overall in 34 games under Spurrier, bettered only by the 391 yards in 2006 vs. Middle Tennessee State. USC also threw for 330 yards against Central Florida in 2005.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]The total offense was the third highest under Spurrier. USC had 545 against MTSU and 512 against Houston in last year's Liberty Bowl.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]McKinley shines [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]Kenny McKinley's 14 receptions tied a USC record set in 1998 by Zola Davis vs. Vanderbilt. McKinley's 151 yards were also a career high. McKinley now has 55 catches for 676 yards and seven touchdowns.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]With three regular season games left and a bowl game, McKinley is within reach of the school record of 74 receptions set by Sterling Sharpe in 1986. The 55 catches tied McKinley with Robert Brooks for the eighth most in USC history[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]Briefly [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]Spurrier said DB Brandon Isaac, who already has a "bad shoulder," got "nicked in the head" on a tackle against Tennessee but should be able to play against Arkansas. ... Mitchell's 45 passes was the most since Bobby Fuller's 46 against North Carolina State in 1990. ... USC had four turnovers for the second straight game. The Gamecocks lead the SEC with 22. [/FONT]
 
This week is

THE SABAN BOWL

Can you feel it?

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Miami QB questionable for Saturday

Posted: Tuesday October 30, 2007 6:26PM; Updated: Tuesday October 30, 2007 6:26PM

CORAL GABLES, Fla. (AP) -- Miami quarterback Kyle Wright was on the practice field Tuesday, although his status for the Hurricanes' game this weekend against North Carolina State remains unclear.
Wright has a sprained left ankle and a sprained tendon behind his left knee. He was hurt in Miami's last game at Florida State on Oct. 20, and said he wouldn't have played if the Hurricanes had a game this past weekend.
"I tried to do as much as I could in individual drills and warm-ups," Wright said. "That's really where I'm at right now."
If Wright cannot play, Miami will have Kirby Freeman start against N.C. State.
Freeman was 4-for-11 for 59 yards and the winning touchdown at Florida State, taking over when Wright got hurt late in the first half.
 
TUESDAY GRAB BAG
By SMQ
Posted on Tue Oct 30, 2007 at 07:07:56 PM EDT


Because I'm not doing the news Hub in-season, I don't get around to the random filler. And Tuesday afternoons exist for a reason, it is random filler:
Bring us his head! And...yeah, his head, too. Keep bringing us heads until you get it right. I've been doing this in earnest for about three years, and stil, Bruins Nation continues to be my favorite site about anything in the days following any UCLA loss. Or pretty much anytime, really, since even Bruin wins over anyone but USC are usually met with the angst of knowing Karl Dorrell is that much further from the chopping block. Even more than winning, getting rid of KD is priority one; Dorrell is so bad UCLA can only succeed in spite of him, and is better off just biting the bullet now to ensure his dismissal.

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You'll get `em next time, big guy.
- - -

I'm certain a fascinating psychological study could me made concerning such intense, quixotic contempt, especially since UCLA seems committed to winning the ESPY for "Most Maddening Team of the Decade." A movement devoted to serving up Greg Robinson's head, for example, or Tyrone Willingham's, doesn't have to endure a lot of hand-wringing - it's been a pretty straight shot to the bottom of the barrell for their programs, and there have been virtually no stray beams of hope. A "movement" would be redundant, basically, with what any fool can see on the field. Not so with Dorrell, whose teams are always just good enough to keep him in tow and just bad enough to leave the faithful fundraising for `Dump Dorrell' billboards amd writing things like this on a weekly basis:

  • I hate Karl Dorrell for putting all of us in this position in Bruin Nation. He deserves zero sympathy for sucking total life out of UCLA football.
    So don't think about feeling sorry for a loser like him.
    GO BRUINS.
    - - -
Well, to put it kindly. L.A. did just follow up an affirming win over Cal by losing to last place Washington State by three touchdowns, in a game that wasn't really as close as all that.
It's going to be some day when BN gets its pound of bland Dorrellian flesh, and to that end, today is something of a high water mark for the site, as its patient, non-stop stalking gets its first taste of official blood, courtesy of A.D. and longtime Dorrell stalwart Dan Guerrero:

  • Two days after UCLA lost 27-7 at Washington State, Guerrero was predictably vague in discussing Dorrell's status, particularly since the Bruins (5-3, 4-1 Pac-10) are in second place in the Pacific-10 Conference, and are still in control of their own destiny in regards to the league title. "The weekend in Pullman (Wash.) was difficult for us," Guerrero said. "We are all disappointed with the performance and with the outcome of that game, but the reality is we still have our destiny in our hands. We have four tough games, two on the road, two at home, and obviously we're going to need to perform at a high level to win those football games.
    "I will be very interested to see how we finish the season this year."
    - - -
Translation: Dorrell is meat, and the sharks want him tossed overboard. If Dorrell wins less than three of the last four - or maybe even if he wins three, if the one loss is a blowout at USC - they're certain they'll have their bounty, at last.
So certain, in fact, that forward-thinking haters are already feeling out the transition period, and making pretty clear that "Dump Dorrell" will morph seamlessly into "Dump DeWayne" if the next hire isn't more compatible with their specifications for a proven winner:
web.sp.extrapts.picA_t820.jpg

Hey, we all have days like this...
- - -

  • ...we're headed for a break up. And though I know some of you aren't as optimistic as myself, I firmly believe that KD is history. Sure, I'm literally knocking on wood while I write this, but dude is gone. You don't need me to tell you why. But, dude is gone.
    [. . .]
    So, be it tomorrow, or December 3, we won't be talking about KD (or CTS, as Fox 71 likes to call him). We'll be talking about KDR -- Karl Dorrell's replacement.
    Given this, the question that should be most pressing on our minds is: will KDR be Mr. Right, or will he be the Rebound Guy?
    We already have some good candidates for Mr. Right. But I'm way more worried that we'll end up with the Rebound Guy. And the guy I'm most worried about is DeWayne Walker. Mr. Rebound himself.
    [. . .]
    What would be gained by firing KD right now (as opposed to the end of the season)? Mostly, imho, it would be emotionally satisfying. It would also would eliminate the increasingly narrow (I say virtually non-existent) chance that KD somehow saves his hide. And, sure, it is the principled, logical thing to do under the circumstances. But, more practically speaking, there isn't that much. What I see, more importantly, is terrible risk.

    Here are my assumptions. Sure, they shouldn't be true, but they are:
    • DG won't hire the towel guy, or Dick Vermiel, or any one else, as an interim coach. If there is an interim coach installed, it will be Rebound Guy.
    • If the Rebound Guy is made interim coach, there will be tremendous inertia to hire Mr. Rebound is as head coach.
    • If the Rebound Guy ends the season on even a slightly promising note (a win against any of ASU, Oregon or Southern Cal), DG will not conduct a thorough coaching search, and after going through the Bob Fieldian motions, Rebound Guy will be our new head coach.
    • Once the Rebound Guy is hired, he will be our head coach for at least four years.
    Dispute any of these if you wish, but I think those assumptions are rock solid. I wish they weren't, but they are.
    My friends, we are at a critical juncture. Forgive the drama, but we are literally hanging on the precipice. The wheels are in motion. Our university has accepted a second cocktail from the Rebound Guy. And she's headed to his car to go for a drive.
    - - -
Personally, I can't imagine Bruins Nation without poor ol' KD to kick around, and I'm not sure I want to. I have to root for the Bruins to regroup (again) and finish with nine or ten wins, just enough for another year, because the day Dorrell is gone will be the end of the truly defining effort of long-suffering coach hating in the early Web era. And I, for one, am not ready for that epic sojourn to end. It's too much fun. And what are they going to do then, anyway, move to Clemson?
This is Penn State, bitch! Louder, fans, louder! Let the world know who you are...

<object height="286" width="365">

<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/v9qLUn9H0EQ&rel=1&border=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="286" width="365"></object></p> In fairness, they were only trying to live up to their coaches' example. Or their players'. Or their other players'...
(Via EDSBS, though, yes, it is ridiculous to post anything that's already been posted on EDSBS. After my super polite weekend in Austin, this is just the breath of rancid, uncivilized air I need).
Projections of Boredom. ESPN has the first earnest, very official Bowl Projections I've seen this season, and between Mark Schlabach and Ivan Maisel, bless them, they can't find one compelling matchup outside of the BCS. Are you ready for Wake Forest and South Florida on New Year's Day?!
Even within the Series, both think Hawaii is going to qualify for the Sugar Bowl. Hawaii, as in ARRRRGGHH!!! STOP RANKING HAWAII!!! Hawaii. In the Sugar Bowl. Dennis Dodd agrees. Only he "staff" of the dreaded College Football News, of all places, has the wisdom to keep Hawaii where it belongs: in Hawaii. Although CFN also picks West Virginia to leap Boston College, LSU, Oklahoma and the Oregon/Arizona State winner to play for the mythical championship, so, you know...
Most interesting, besides the fact that the prestigious International Bowl bid is a toss-up between either Ball State or Buffalo (!), is that both men still see USC as an at-large behind Pac Ten champ Oregon in a big money bowl (the Rose in Maisel's case, the Fiesta for Schlabach) and think current leader Arizona State, with the Ducks and Trojans still in front of it, is destined to fall all the way to the Holiday Bowl.

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The Hospitality State was happy to host your minimally-rendered filth, Tu.
- - -
You don't want those lobsters. Last and least (only because he still has Hawaii ranked), Jonathan Tu's legndary travelling sideshow rolled into Hattiesburg for Sunday night's debacle against Central Florida, presumably with an omnipresent, Pigpen-like cloud of dust and grime that must be orbiting his filthy body by this time. Tu hasn't posted anything about his trip yet, but I had to ask him privately what he thought of SMQ's old stomping grounds (e-mail reprinted without permission, because permission, like an Ohio State jersey in Happy Valley, is for bitches):
  • Well, the bars closed at midnight. And I adjusted my clocks but not my head, which means that I missed kickoff because I thought the game was at 8 PM Central because, again, my head needs adjusting.

    But your Assistant AD John Miller gave me a free 50 yarder in an envelope marked "Super Fan!!!" with smilies for the periods under the exclamations. And the two girls singing at Mug Shots were pretty good. And there's a new game there called Lobster Dive or something like that, which is basically like a run of the mill claw game but instead of grabbing dolls or iPods or whatever, it's live lobsters. Which you get to cook and eat. It's more Vegas than Vegas, which is both good and bad.

    The game was thoroughly forgettable excepting that sweet ass vault from #25. You guys need, like, tacklers.

    I'm leaving here for Nawlins pretty soon, but still glad I came.

    - - -
I couldn't agree more re: the tacklers/lack thereof and Jeremy Fletcher's sweet, head-over-heels vault in the third quarter, but Mug Shots? A mistake, in my experience, as the name probably implies to anyone who's ever been in a college town (though my experience never included the lobster thing, which is just bizarre).
And the bars closing at midnight is only a Sunday thing - it's 2 a.m. every other day of the week. Though, seeing that most of the surrounding counties are dry and blue laws are still pretty prevalent in the Pine Belt, midnight's not really that bad.
Plus, I mean, a free 50-yarder. You won't get that at USC, will you? Uh, no...
 
If you saw this bullshit PSU frat video, then this is nice to see from a PSU blog and I agree that the kid, who is clearly shown on the video, should be prosecuted. This is assault. Plain and simple.

Reminds me of all the horror stories that we heard after Texas went to Columbus in 2005. Not only does it make others lose any respect for these traditional football powerhouses, but it just builds hate. Not envy. Hate.

May No Act of Ours Bring Shame
By Mike Section: News
Posted on Tue Oct 30, 2007 at 06:21:23 PM EDT


Words cannot accurately describe how disgusting this is.

<object height="366" width="425">

<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/v9qLUn9H0EQ&rel=1&border=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="366" width="425"></object></p> This is Penn State, bitch.
No, son, that is not Penn State.
To the Ohio State fans featured in the video, I'm sorry. On behalf of the 99% of Penn State fans that are nice people capable of showing respect to opposing fans, I'm sorry. This is not the Penn State I know and love.
There is no excuse for this kind of behavior. None. The people in this video need to be hunted down, kicked out of school, and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.



See comments here: http://www.blackshoediaries.com/story/2007/10/30/182123/41
 
Struggling Tiger Groves shifting to LB

Posted: Tuesday October 30, 2007 5:04PM; Updated: Tuesday October 30, 2007 5:02PM

AUBURN, Ala. (AP) -- No. 19 Auburn appears to have found a way to keep Quentin Groves and Antonio Coleman on the field together.
The Tigers are moving Groves from defensive end to linebacker at least part-time entering the final three regular-season games of his college career, making way for the fast-rising Coleman.
"I've taken on a new role," Groves said Tuesday. "I'm a linebacker now. Different meeting room. Different set of film study."
Well, not entirely. Groves and Coleman will still team up at end on pass rushing downs for the Tigers (6-3), who face Tennessee Tech on Saturday. It should be a nice tuneup for Groves in his new role before they face their two biggest rivals.
"Before the bullets really start flying against Alabama and Georgia," said Groves, who expects NFL teams to project him as a linebacker. "I'm thanking them for easing me in now rather than just jumping into the fire."
With Coleman's emergence, the move allows the Tigers to keep two of their better defensive players on the field more frequently while run-stopper Sen'Derrick Marks remains at the other end spot. The sophomore Coleman leads the team and ranks fifth in the Southeastern Conference with 12.5 tackles for loss and six sacks -- most of those coming since he has been the starter the past four games. Groves was sidelined for two games with a toe injury and has remained limited.
"We're looking for ways to get them all on the field," coach Tomy Tuberville said. "Starting next week, you want to have your best players on the field when you're playing conference games. Going into those last two games, we're going to need everybody out there at the same time."
Groves will help fill in for linebacker Craig Stevens, who will miss Saturday's game with a sprained ankle, Tuberville said. Coleman's play is another big factor in the move.
He had two sacks against Mississippi last weekend and also changed direction fast enough to make a tackle behind the line on a reverse. Coleman also pressured Brent Schaeffer into a bad pass late that was intercepted in the end zone to help Auburn pull away for a 17-3 win.
"I just feel I'm playing good ball and I think they want to keep me out there because I'm playing so good," Coleman said.
It certainly would have been hard to lift him from the starting lineup after that performance.
"Antonio probably played the best game he played all year," Tuberville said. "That play he made on the reverse was unbelievable, and of course he forced the interception with pressure.
"He was just all over the place making plays and fighting to get off blocks and holding and all that kind of stuff."
Coleman played in every game last season but didn't have a sack and managed only one tackle for loss. His emergence this season has caught some by surprise, but not his teammates.
"A lot of people weren't talking about him in the beginning of the season," Marks said. "Everybody was talking about Quentin, and now he came in and he's leading the team in sacks.
"Now, a lot of people are keying on him. They'll do the things they were doing to Quentin, and that opens up a lot for other guys on the defensive line."
Groves, meanwhile, remains stuck at three sacks this season, leaving him tied for the school record of 26. At this point, he just wants to get that record-setting sack out of the way.
"I pray to God every night I get the sack out of the way," Groves said. "It's the hardest thing ever to get. It's something I work for, wish I had, but I don't."
 
UK safety out rest of regular season

Posted: Tuesday October 30, 2007 2:47PM; Updated: Tuesday October 30, 2007 2:47PM

LEXINGTON, Ky. (AP) -- Kentucky safety Marcus McClinton will miss the final three games of the regular season with a fractured scapula.
McClinton, a starter and one of the top playmakers in the Wildcats secondary, suffered the injury in a 31-14 loss to Mississippi State Saturday. Coach Rich Brooks said Tuesday that McClinton should be available to play in a bowl game.
"He made a tackle and got his shoulder knocked back and just fractured his scapula," Brooks said. "It's a very unusual injury. The good news is it's not displaced or anything. It's a crack and not a break."
 
BUYS AND SELLS, WEEK TEN

This week’s buys and sells, as presented by Hannibal and Orson. Enjoy.
Hannibal’s Buys:
Georgia. I feel your pain, Orson, but what happened at the Cocktail Party was an essential bloodletting if Georgia is going to take control of this wayward division with the kind of year-end run it pulled off last year. Troy, Auburn, Kentucky and Georgia Tech stand between 10-2 and, if Tennessee loses one of its last three conference games, the East title. We always wish for the very best health and welfare on behalf of our fellow man, of course, of course, but re: Thomas Brown’s injury, any event that results in more carries by Knowshon Moreno is a
positive event where the Bulldog offense is concerned. When Georgia has had that durable number one back in the past – Musa Smith, Verron Haynes, young Thomas Brown – Mark Richt’s offense has hummed, and here we are again.
1804983875_eda843c06f_m.jpg

Knowshon Moreno. Good.
Speaking of Richt: nothing to apologize for. The whole team storming the field was a fun, spontaneous move that boosted morale
for the rest of the game, and the game now will boost morale for the rest of the season. Georgia was dead for a decade and a half against Florida and dead in the East standings going into Saturday, and neither is true anymore. Just remember: like any good trick, it only works once.
Texas. Still hasn’t beaten a good team, but things seemed to gel in the second half against Nebraska. Colt McCoy is still making very “gutty” plays in the verable “small town hick” tradition, like staring down his first option or, occasionally, running around aimlessly after failing to recognize open men. But if the Longhorns will commit to running Jamaal Charles, dammit, and doing what they do best (the read option, if the quarterback is a threat to run), UT can finish the season on a six-game run and be in pretty good position for one of the wide open at-large spots in the BCS, or the Cotton Bowl at worst.
BYU. Just quietly cruising along in the Mountain West. Last game at San Diego State was suspended for wildfire-related reasons, but, stereotypes aside, you do not catch Mormons when they build a two-game advantage - with wins already over top Mountain West contender Air Force and New Mexico, that’s essentially what the Cougars have over the last five games. Ten wins got BYU into the top 20 last year, and I would expect the same if it can run the table from here out.
Orson’s Buys:
0l0736m1.jpg
Four wins? Cookie time!
Arizona. Short term, junk bond hold only! ONLY! Why the smoking hell would anyone be daft as to take the third version of Mike Stoops putrid Arizona teams and pop them into the buy column when we know full well there is a four game cap on any and all Wildcat teams coached by Mike Stoops? For one simple reason: they play UCLA next week, a team that burps up turnovers like a drunk giving off whiskey fog (-5 TO margin on the year) and the most inconsistent team in the known universe. Logic would dictate that UCLA would bounce back following a road loss to Washington State. Logic is more than happy to stab you in the face on this one; buy, hold for the game, then drop like a bag of shit on fire immediately afterward. Because Jesus Jackhammerin’ Christ, it’s still Arizona, after all.
Missouri. Chase Daniel’s got Meast written all over him, and Missouri hasn’t slumped into the normal Pinkel late-season trough. They go to troglodyte Colorado this weekend, a spot that tripped up Oklahoma, but after that they’re through and skating until a November 24th game with Kansas. Rewind your brain; insert new variable of “Kansas versus Missouri will be a game with national implications” into the time clip marked September 1st, 2007. Enjoy the reactions.
Ohio State. Convinced now that they are demonstrably very, very good. Please proceed to national title checkin, as you have entered the Big Ten/Pac 10 express line and bypassed the pesky ID check at the championship game.
Hannibal’s Sells:
The rest of the SEC East. A couple weeks after they were all in the top ten, South Carolina’s suddenly lost two straight and Florida and Kentucky three out of four each. That trio went 4-9 in the month of October, and 2-7 in games outside of one another. Just by following up its upset of USCe by beating Miami, Ohio, Saturday, Vanderbilt had a better month.
This includes division leader Tennessee, too, because the Vols are still giving up 500 yards to merely competent offenses and requiring timely fumbles and the high, unforgiving irony of overtime flags to eke out decent victories. I would say the conference can’t stand for that kind of team representing in Atlanta, but with Arkansas, Vandy and Kentucky left, I dunno, maybe there’s no one willing to do his duty of knocking the Vols out of their perch.
California. A little late to the game here, but anyone still holding on to the “Tedford Magic” needs get out while he still can. The running game is broken and the defense is bordering on a freefall with USC still in front of it.
Texas Tech. The Raiders are fun, but after all the numbers is the fact that they aren’t good enough at fundamental football: Tech can’t play defense and can’t finish drives when it runs of field in the red zone. Missouri is one thing, but Colorado is too lo-fi to be an excusable loss. I wouldn’t be as pessimistic if the last three games didn’t still include Oklahoma and the aforementioned Longhorns, which probably leaves Cap’n Leach’s Crew at 7-5, again.
Orson’s Sells.
Florida Sell ‘em hard. Injuries riddle both sides of the ball, the tailback can’t hold on to the ball, the d-line’s down to three healthy tackles (losing not one, but TWO in the course of the Georgia game,) Tebow’s hurting, and the defensive backs give a 15 yard cushion at all times. Attempt to hug one, and they will maintain a perfect 15 yard distance from you; have them as a student in your class, and they will sit miles away in the back of the auditorium. It’s kiddie hour in Gainesville, and time for trial by inferno. Fun comes in a thousand varieties.
Michigan State. A team reeling from two straight losses heads into the three game home stretch of Michigan, Purdue, and Penn State. The Spartans’ suffer from a particular lack of production in the passing game, only throwing three touchdowns in their four losses. Their run first, pass-second offense will find no purchase in the final haul through the Big Ten. Plus, an eternal law of football follows here: if it’s November, it must be Michigan State flaming to earth in the Big Ten.
Hannibal’s Holds.
UCLA. Only because I know the Bruins will turn in at least one and probably more stunning performances over the final month, and since three of
their last four games are against Arizona State, Oregon and USC, it’s more likely than not that effort will be the next addition to L.A.’s provocative “Shocking Upset” series. Of course, it could continue the program’s “Blue Period” (known in some circles as the “Dorrell Period”), and lose to Arizona Saturday, in which case, buy! Buy! Volatlity is the essence of life!
Boston College. I’m more convinced that ever after last Thursday the Eagles will lose a game, but looking at their remaining schedule (Florida State, Maryland, Clemson, Miami, ACC Championship), hell if I have any idea who. Clemson, possibly, but as long as B.C. is favored, just ride the wave on out.
UConn. Ditto the first place, once-beaten Huskies, who are not a good team, as far as I can tell, and might easily lose three of their last four and fall quickly off the face of the planet (or into the International Bowl; same thing). Or UConn might be that scrappy boxcar fighter we get every year –Rutgers and Wake Forest in ‘06 come to mind, two teams that won one legitimately big game between them – that gets the bounces and the schedule to take its fortune the distance. Like Rutgers last year, UConn closes at West Virginia in a possible winner-take-all scenario, and all judgments are off until the Huskies actually win their way into that situation.
Orson’s holds:
Kansas. Would love to see what occurs when they face a team that can pass…like, say, Missouri in the final game of the season.
Texas. A late collapse and 200 yard diarrhea of yards allowed by Nebraska should be no reason to celebrate in Austin. They same problems plaguing Texas all season remain, and the obstinacy of Mack Brown’s coaching staff in plowing headlong into solid walls without the proper tools remains. As long as their linebacking corps misreads plays, the run game can’t get blocking against real competition, and Colt McCoy devolves from “nicked” to “completely banged-up,” you’ll have problems.
Georgia. The UCLA of the SEC, capable of road-housing Florida the week after a demoralizing no-show at Tennessee. A team so schizophrenic could only be called Dorrellian, and with a skilled and nasty Troy team coming in this weekend, it’s a crapshoot as to which team you’re going to see. They could easily lost to Troy, win the division, make the championship game, and then get to a BCS bowl where you may flip a coin to see whether they show and rage or coast and get torpedoed in the game.
 
Lloyd Carr Isn't Sure Chad Henne or Mike Hart Will Play This Weekend

Posted Oct 30th 2007 2:33PM by Tom Fornelli
Filed under: Michigan Football, Big 10, NCAA FB Gossip, NCAA FB Injuries
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The Wolverines had the much needed benefit of a bye last week since they got to play the mighty Golden Gophers of Minnesota. It was perfect timing for Big Blue as it gave the team a chance to rest Chad Henne and Mike Hart so they could heal from their respective injuries.

Just one problem, Lloyd Carr isn't sure either will be able to play on Saturday against Michigan State.
"I really have to wait and see," Carr said. "I really don't have anything other than that to say about that."

"I have said from Day One that daily they're getting better," Carr said. "So everything I say is interpreted one way or the other. I think they're both much better than they were, and yet until we get on that practice field this week, I can't tell you."​
Left tackle and team captain Jake Long is a bit more confident in his teammates abillity to recover.
"I have no doubt in my mind that they'll play," Long said Monday during a weekly news conference. "They've been working hard in rehab, and they want to come back definitely for this game. So I definitely see them coming back."​
I have to say that if you're going to listen to only one of them, I'd listen to Long. I don't think there's any way that either Henne or Hart will miss this game. It's against an in state rival in Michigan State, and unlike the Minnesota game, the Wolverines actually need their quarterback and running back.

All Lloyd Carr is doing is saying he isn't sure because he doesn't want Michigan State to know if the two are playing or not. It's not exactly a new tactic in football. I mean, Tom Brady is on the injury report every week in the NFL but he hasn't been touched in three months.
 
Here's what happens when you add (1) one of the fastest backs in CFB, (2) one of the worst rush defenses in CFB, and (3) a weird commitment to try the zone read post-VY:

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GETTING IN TOUCH WITH YOUR MANHOOD, FOOTBALL-STYLE

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Tom Jackheart talks about the football team that is your penis.
Our special guest is Tom Jackheart, noted motivational speaker and men’s health speaker, joins us today for his breakdown of the college football season, and how it can revolutionize your life, your lovelife, your marriage, the way you drive, your ability to chop vegetables with precision, and your destiny. Take it away, Tom!
You must love your life in order to love your life. And in order to have the love you need to love your life to its fullest, that love must come from yourself. That means you have to love yourself first. Not easy, guys?
Wrong! You love yourself all the time and I know you do, because it all starts with the most important thing to a man: his penis. You think you know your penis like the back of your hand, but let’s face it: you really know the back of your hand like you know your penis.
But I’m telling you that in order to have that ultimate love, you have to get to know the soul of your manhood. Guys, that’s not easy–believe me, I know! I didn’t get from the minimum security ward of the Florida prison system where I was incarcerated for a crime I didn’t commit to where I stand before you today by lacking self-knowledge. A good lawyer helped, too!
(Pause for laughter. None comes. He proceeds.)
I got here by knowing myself, and not just in that cheap, frenzied way you practice daily. I know you’re saying to yourself: hey, I’ve “known myself” in bus station bathrooms, middle school parking lots, at the bathroom at work, and all over this great nation of ours. But I’m telling you: that’s not real self-knowledge. Understand the soul of your manhood, and understand yourself.
One way we can achieve this understanding is through analogy, so let’s take a look together through the lens of college football. Let’s learn. Let’s discover. Let’s meet your penis in a football uniform.
USC
Some of you are USC. It’s huge, right? And you’ve done some pretty amazing things with it, putting it wherever you liked for a long time, sometimes against the odds, and everyone knew about it thanks to some pretty good publicity from those you worked with, eh? You probably even steered a boat or two with it from time to time, or played the ol’ wristwatch trick on a friend or two.
Now, though, you’re a bit down. Maybe it’s work. Maybe it’s the pressure of sustaining that performance. Maybe you’ve gotten–wait for it!–cocky? Now you’ve…how shall we say this…turned the ball over a bit too many times recently?
If this is you, you’re in possession of a USC manhood. Proud! Highly visible! And burdened with great expectations. It’s not easy being able to carry not just the towel but several dishrags and a bathrobe on your manhood, so pressure and high expectations is always the name of the game for you. Sometimes, this means dominating championship performances! Sometimes, it means drooping late against Stanford. It’s work keeping something so heavy up for so long.
Texas Tech.
So you’re not the biggest guy. In fact, you might bend in a slightly different direction than anyone else–several inches in a different direction, actually. That’s fine, because with the way you do things, good word gets out one way or another. Despite being not as naturally talented as others, you’re all about rapid, merciless scoring, and when matched up with an opponent who underestimates you, look out! They’ll be down six or seven scores in th count before you know it.
Texas Tech man, your primary concern with all that scoring is always the same: protection, protection, protection. Without the grounding influence of the emotional run game some men possess, you’re prone to hollow but spectacular blowouts interrupted by defeats to masterful defenders. Your own defense is somewhat suspect, but no matter: you’re an ace at coming from behind.
Florida.
Ah, the gift and curse of youth! You’re given immense potential and are perpetually up. Indeed, you’re capable of scoring at will anytime or anywhere! But what you lack, Florida-penis-man, is the consistency needed to make it through all four quarters. You’re a mess, just spraying the ball everywhere and racking up meaningless points without ever really controlling your game. Only listening to the voice of experience can give you the maturity you need to go sixty minutes the hard way without turning life into some spastic high-school spunkfest.
Penn State.
You’ve got the gift of age, and that’s one of life’s greatest blessings: the wisdom that only comes with the accumulation of time and experience. Unfortunately, everything’s misfiring, and you’re having trouble staying firm in the face of adversity, especially against younger, hungrier opponents, even with your natural gifts of size and enthusiasm. And you can’t feel anything.
You’ll have to work with what you’ve got–have we recommended special teams? They’re something you can introduce into the game to help, and the players can come in all different shapes and sizes. With just a few simple tricks and techniques, you can insert them into your life and make a world of difference in your play.
Wake Forest
Hey there, little fella! Don’t worry about the size issue. It’s not that you’re small–you’re the smallest school around, caught in a life-struggle with those who have more of, well, everything.
You’ll have to rely on cunning, hard work, and inspired to play in all three phases of the game to compete, and that’s just what you do! Misdirection, hard tackling, and effort, effort, effort–those are the hallmarks of your game, son. Never mind that others have bigger facilities, stadiums, or players. You’ll stun ‘em with misdirections, orbit sweeps, and a confusing smokescreen of defenses.
And look what effort will get you: 4-1 in the ACC and just waiting to shock someone. (You love shockin’ em.) So go ahead and shake what you’ve got, Vienna Sausage. It’s all you need and more to be a pocket tiger waiting to pounce.
Michigan.
Hola, steady amigo. While others are out there doing the Soulja Boy and other new-fangled dances–what are those kids saying? I can’t even understand them these days!–you’re busy doing the same old two-step that’s gotten you through time and time again. And sure, the old lady complains and complains, but every night she’s getting the same old treatment and showing up for it again, and again, and again. She’s quiet, but you can tell there’s a grim satisfaction there. And that’s what life’s about for you, isn’t it? Grim satisfaction.
And kinky? That’s a word to describe hair, not your love life. You’ve got the goods, they’ve done you just fine for forty years, thank you very much, and you’ll just keep pounding away the same way you’ve always done. And at the end of the day, you can grimace with pleasure when it’s done. Quietly.
Duke
You don’t really want to be here, do you? You’ve tried playing, but it just doesn’t work out, and it ends up in tears and you lying limp and defeated, right?
The real secret: you’re just doing this for show, because you’d actually rather be playing another game completely. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! You should flaunt it and be proud, and shed your sham life in favor of fabulous life in a totally different game where you’re not only successful, but legendary. Come out by going inside for a different sort of scoring–that’s your plan, Duke-manhood man.
Hawaii.
Are you undefeated against the tipsy 21-year-old barflies of the world? That’s you Hawaii-manhood man, a high-scorer who racks up the tally against competition that’s suspect at best. Sure you’ve got moves and even a little bit of size, but your exotic looks and rapid penetration of defenses comes against opponents with no defense for what you’ve got–a free dinner, a shoulder to pass out on, or a partner who can drink them into happy submission.
Whatever it takes, you’re there for six points time and time again when it’s easiest. Should you ever meet an opponent with substantial defenses, though, be advised: you’ll be forced into a game you may not be ready to play.
Notre Dame.
It’s…it’s just not working. Nothing. You’ve got all the gifts: looks, pedigree, talent, and money. And back in the day, my goodness, you had a line out the door for what you had. When grunge was king you ruled the bedposts with an iron rod.
Since then, though, it’s been disappointment. And public disappointment, at that, since you’re genital celebrity received some very negative and public reviews. Comes with the territory, though. You blame your last relationship for really messing you up in that department, but that’s getting a bit thin, and this new lady, well…it’s starting to affect things down there, too, despite a fast and furious start. And lately it’s been frosties between the sheets.
I don’t know what to tell you, Notre Dame-penis man. Unless you care to pay for my other seminar, “Notre Dame Penis-Man: Your Situation and How to Fix Everything in 23 Minutes a Day.” It’s 23 minutes that will change your life, and it only costs $30 million dollars over ten years in yearly installments.
That’s all I’ve got time for, folks. To summarize: know your penis, know yourself. For more, you can check my motivational tape “The Men’s Dicktionary: Your Guide to Winning Life with Your Genitals” and my book, “Balls to Bucks: Taking your Testes to the Bank and Beyond.” Remember: from yardstick to toothpick, your dick is the pick to win!
Tom Jackheart is a motivational speaker available for speaking engagements, you know, whenever. He was convicted of mail fraud in 1997 and has served his debt to society.
 
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