CFB Week 12 (11/13-17) News and Picks

RJ Esq · Nov 12, 2007

EDSBS HGTV: THE BUCKEYE BIDET

Let’s install a bidet, people!
You can’t have a modern bathroom without a bidet. I know what you’re saying, now: what kind of man uses something French to lick his ass that can’t be charged anonymously to a credit card as “PERSONAL SERVICES, INC” from a Lyon hotel room? Not me, you say!
Wrong. It’s time to show some modern fluffy sensitivity and stop smearing the brown ghost of last night’s pot roast around your ass and get with the squeaky-clean, watery goodness of a behind blasted immaculate with the gentle but firm touch of a bidet.
We’ll even show you how to make your very own, extremely masculine Ohio State bidet just like the one that keeps Tressel’s trundle clean every week on ABC. Ready?
Step one: the bidet. Be careful–you can overpay for your bidet, as some built-in toilet/bidet models can run into the thousands of dollars. We can only say that the decision is yours, but for value’s sake the extra water you’ll use with a separate bidet is negligible. We say keep them separate to save a few bucks, and pick up a model such as the Kohler “San Tropez” for no more than $500 total.
Step Two: Installation. Don’t make the mistake of just drilling a few holes in the floor, hooking up a pipe, and firing away at the old log-mouth with a poorly installed bidet. Precision matters here. First, make sure your tiling is level, and that you’ve got your piping lined up accurately. Trace the outline of the bidet on the floor, and crack out the chalk line and level to make sure the bidet is attractively and evenly placed next to the toilet.
Now take a drill and make two 3/16″ holes in the floor for the anchor. Don’t forget your sealant! This all-important element will save you from nagging leaks and drips in the future, and you’ll thank yourself for the extra effort later.
Connect your pipes, drain, and you’re almost there.
Add some style. In this case, we’re going to jazz up the bidet with a familiar loving face. We’ve taken an image off the internet, printed and laminated it, and blown it up on an 8X12 scale. Then we we did a quick outline of the image on some pressed 1/16 inch aluminum, matched up the image, and cut a quick 1/2 inch hole to allow for the bidet faucet to poke through. Make sure your faucet hole is just big enough–a tight fit is essential here.
Take the mounting and run a quick solder and seal job around the faucet, and we’re ready to scrub. Oh, and don’t forget the waterproof sticker at the bottom of the trough for effect.
Step Four: Get that undercarriage Musburger-clean! Pardner, even in defeat no one washes your Buckeye balls more thoroughly and forcefully than the Brentster. You’re looking live! At my ass being cleaned just like Jim Tressel’s is on a weekly basis! Turn on thE water and feel the force of America’s announcer getting you a squeaky kind of clean only previously possible
with four hours of feverish man-amour.

This has been EDSBS Home and Garden Weekly. Enjoy the freshness, y’all!

RJ Esq · Nov 12, 2007

Navy accepts Poinsettia Bowl invite

<script type="text/javascript"> </script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"> </script><iframe name="google_ads_frame" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/ads?client=ca-pub-0237893561790135&dt=1194900066853&lmt=1194900065&alt_color=ffffff&format=300x250_as&output=html&correlator=1194900066838&channel=0603066557&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fanblogs.com%2Fnavy%2F007283.php&color_bg=FFFFFF&color_text=333333&color_link=003399&color_url=999999&color_border=FFFFFF&ad_type=text_image&ref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Freader%2Fview%2F&cc=100&ga_vid=700325724.1194291038&ga_sid=1194900067&ga_hid=300883591&ga_fc=true&flash=9&u_h=1024&u_w=1280&u_ah=1024&u_aw=1280&u_cd=32&u_tz=-480&u_his=1&u_java=true&u_nplug=18&u_nmime=67" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" vspace="0" hspace="0" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="250" scrolling="no" width="300"></iframe> For the fifth straight year, the Navy Midshipmen are going bowling.
Navy will play a to-be-determined Mountain West Conference opponent on ESPN in the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl on Dec. 20 at 6pm (Pacific) at Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego.

"I'm excited the team has achieved one of its goals, to have a chance to go to a bowl game, and I'm excited to be going to San Diego," Johnson said. "We still have two very important games remaining against Northern Illinois and Army, so we are going to put the bowl game on the back burner until the regular season is over. There's no question where our focus needs to be and will be."

Navy also has a chance to win a record fifth-straight Commander in Chief's Trophy in this year's Army game.

RJ Esq · Nov 12, 2007

Stoops brothers gameplan tp knock off Oregon

<script type="text/javascript"> </script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"> </script><iframe name="google_ads_frame" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/ads?client=ca-pub-0237893561790135&dt=1194900092447&lmt=1194900092&alt_color=ffffff&format=300x250_as&output=html&correlator=1194900092432&channel=0603066557&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fanblogs.com%2Foklahoma%2F007282.php&color_bg=FFFFFF&color_text=333333&color_link=003399&color_url=999999&color_border=FFFFFF&ad_type=text_image&ref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Freader%2Fview%2F&cc=100&ga_vid=700325724.1194291038&ga_sid=1194900067&ga_hid=219038843&ga_fc=true&flash=9&u_h=1024&u_w=1280&u_ah=1024&u_aw=1280&u_cd=32&u_tz=-480&u_his=1&u_java=true&u_nplug=18&u_nmime=67" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" vspace="0" hspace="0" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="250" scrolling="no" width="300"></iframe> Oklahoma head coach Bob Stoops doesn't mind discussing game strategy with his brother, Arizona head coach Mike Stoops, occassionally. But this week, the Sooners coach has more than a passing interest in the outcome of the UA's game this week.
Of course, Bob Stoops may still harbor a little passion from his last visit to Eugene, but with OU looking up at the Oregon Ducks in the race to the BCS Championship, Stoops has a vested interest in seeing Arizona pull the upset.

"He played them awfully well last year,â€ Bob said. "We talk through a few things, overall, some of the things we've seen or anything that pertains â€” just casually.â€ Bob also doesn't have to tell Mike about the value for both programs in an upset over Oregon.
"He understands that,â€ Bob said. "I'm sure he'd like to (win), for his sake and for ours.â€

RJ Esq · Nov 12, 2007

CURIOUS INDEX, 11/12/07

<center> <table bgcolor="#ffffff" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="590"> <tbody><tr width="590"> <td colspan="3" width="590">

</td> </tr> <tr width="590"> <td background="http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/almanac/left.jpg" width="31">
</td> <td width="528"> Mr. Toad has the wheel again. LSU and their mad motorist of a coach, Les Miles, have the wheel again.

[NAME REDACTED] will hurt you. Many a Coke machine has felt his wrath, but Juice Williams could have been next had he not scrambled his team into victory against the Buckeyes on Saturday as a very, very caffeineated [NAME REDACTED] listened to his plea to go for it against Ohio State in Illinois’ stunning 28-21 victory.
“That gave me an OK to go ahead and do it,” Williams added.
“I knew it was just an inch or less,” Zook said. “Juice kind of grabbed me and said, ‘I will get you an inch.’ I said, ‘You better.’”
That’s not exactly how Williams told it.
“He kind of scared me,” Williams said of Zook. “He said, ‘Get it or I’m going to hurt you.’ That kind of motivated me even more to get the first.”
Fear is a hell of a drug, son. Believe us, we know it–Florida’s current dance partner for the bowl season would be, per CBS Sportsline projections, the Illinois Illini. If Illinois wins, this site become www.hire[NAME REDACTED].com for a day. That’s a wager, y’all. (HT: Matt T.)
Joe Glenn hates your ass and will show the world with his middle finger.

Deadspin has the rest, but in short, don’t guarantee a victory over Utah. They don’t like that.
Colt Brennan suffered “a mild concussion” on this hit from Fresno State’s Marcus Riley with eleven minutes to go in Hawaii’s 37-30 victory over the Bulldogs. Being mildly concussed like this is like having your balls “slightly kicked.” It’s still very much bad no matter how many adverbs you add to it.

<object height="355" width="425">

<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kc2RqGAh5NQ&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></object></p> Yes, you did see this. Verne leans with it (lean with it), rocks with it (rock with it.)

<object height="355" width="425">

<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DS3ky9SSMF4&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></object></p> He’s bouncin’ in the club ’cause the girls call him rocket.


</td> <td background="http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/almanac/right.jpg" width="31">
</td> </tr> <tr width="590"> <td colspan="3" width="590">

</td> </tr> </tbody></table> </center>

RJ Esq · Nov 12, 2007

A Couple More...

Rather than calling these "LOLLeaches", I think the term "LOLTech" is more apropos.

RJ Esq · Nov 12, 2007

Cheapshot on Locker:

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/bTbw-Y-yugg&rel=1&border=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/bTbw-Y-yugg&rel=1&border=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

RJ Esq · Nov 12, 2007

BTW, I'm looking for a youtube clip of Colt's TD run where he spins off tacklers twice for the score. Amazingly, it did not make the highlight clips.

RJ Esq · Nov 12, 2007

RJ Esq · Nov 12, 2007

Texas Longhorns BCS Bowl Possibilities: Volume 1

by HornsFan Sun Nov 11, 2007 at 11:46:28 PM EDT

If Texas beats the Aggies on T+1, the question every Longhorn fan will want answered is: can we make a BCS Bowl? There's been some great discussions on this in the diaries already, but let's walk through the scenarios and figure out where we stand.
<ins>Rose Bowl</ins>
Overview: We lead with the Rose Bowl because it remains my top destination choice for the 'Horns in any year where a national and/or conference title chance is off the table. The most important note with this bowl is that the Rose Bowl committee wants, as its first choice, the traditional Pac 10-Big 10 game. They will not stray from that formula if possible.
Where Things Stand Today: With Ohio State's loss to Illinois, the Big 10 representative is all but locked in. For the Buckeyes to reach the national title game, a monumental collapse among the contenders ahead of them is required. The winner of Michigan-Ohio State is Rose Bowl bound.
As for the Pac 10, Oregon is the favorite to win the conference, but they have a very reasonable chance to be national title game participants. If Oregon loses one or both of their remaining games, the Pac 10 champion is very likely headed to the Rose Bowl.
Texas Fans Should Root For: Unlike a lot of the scenarios, this one's pretty straightforward. For starters, Oregon must make the national title game. Additionally, the winner of the USC-Arizona State game must drop an additional contest. Best case scenario? USC beats Arizona State, but loses to UCLA. If the Trojans win out, they'd be the Rose Bowl's top choice to replace Oregon. Ditto Arizona State. We need both teams to have suspect finishes to their season.
<ins>Sugar Bowl</ins>
Overview: The SEC Champion is locked into the Sugar Bowl each season, leaving one at-large team for the game per year, except when the SEC Champ qualifies for the national title game. As far as destinations for Longhorn fans go, New Orleans is at or near the top of the list. Burnt Orange Nation would be delighted.
Where Things Stand Today: LSU is currently on track to qualify for the national title game, though their appearance is not guaranteed, even if they win out. It is, however, very likely; their strength with the human polls, assuming it remained strong, would keep them in the top two. Assuming the Sugar Bowl lost its SEC representative, it would have an early choice for a replacement. Would they choose another SEC team? That's certainly going to be their first choice, but what if Tennessee and/or Georgia loses to Kentucky but makes the SEC championship game? Or if the SEC East winner gets embarrassed by LSU in Atlanta? In that case, the Sugar Bowl would have to decide if it wanted a three-loss Florida, Georgia, or Tennessee team.
This is the appropriate time to bring up Hawaii, as the Sugar Bowl is stuck last in the at-large choice rotation this year. Like the Fiesta Bowl last year, the Sugar Bowl would be the one forced to take an auto-qualified Hawaii, as no other bowl will select them voluntarily.
Texas Fans Should Root For: If you want the Sugar Bowl to have two at-large (non-SEC) spots, root for LSU and Kentucky. Should the Tigers make the title game, they'd be out. Should Kentucky take out Georgia and/or Tennessee, the odds of an SEC-less Sugar Bowl would increase dramatically.
As for Hawaii, there are two things to root for: first, that the 'Bows lose a game. Failing that, Texas fans should root for whomever wins the ACC and Big East to finish strong. If either conference champion is ranked behind Hawaii in the BCS Standings, then the Rainbow Warriors need only be in the Top 16 - as opposed to Top 12 - to qualify for an auto-bid to a BCS Bowl.
<ins>Fiesta Bowl</ins>
Overview: The Big 12 champion automatically is sent to the Fiesta Bowl unless the champ qualifies for the national title game. This year, two of the most important games for both the conference and national title picture will be Big 12 contests. The Kansas-Missouri game and Big 12 title match up will have enormous implications on this, and every, BCS bowl.
Where Things Stand Today: It's almost fruitless to speculate about this situation right now, as there are so many course-altering games remaining on the Big 12 slate. Kansas, Oklahoma, and Missouri are ranked 3, 4, and 5 in the BCS Standings, with two teams fated to take a dip once the games are complete.
I do think it's safe to say that the Fiesta Bowl will host a Big 12 team. Though it's not guaranteed, it's highly likely. If OU wins the Big 12 championship but does not qualify for the BCS Title Game, they'll be there. If Missouri beats Kansas and OU, it's unlikely to make the BCS Title Game and would head to Phoenix.
If Oklahoma were to make the BCS Title Game, the Fiesta Bowl would likely choose the Kansas-Missouri winner, provided neither loses this coming Saturday.
If Kansas runs the table and makes the BCS Title Game, then things get very interesting. The Fiesta Bowl would likely, as its first choice, select a two-loss Oklahoma team. A two-loss Missouri team is a possibility (if OU had, say, three losses), but seems unlikely to me.
Texas Fans Should Root For: There are so many difference scenarios here that it's tough to pick one rooting strategy as the best one. I've given this a lot of thought, though, and think I've figured out the best-case scenario for Texas.
Actually, there are two. First, there is the obvious one: Oklahoma loses to both Tech and Pokie State to close the season, while Texas beats A&M. In that case, we make the Big 12 Title Game and can earn the auto-bid.
That's highly, highly unlikely, though. More realistically, Oklahoma dropping one of its final two games is within the realm of possibilities. In that case? Texas would want Kansas to beat Missouri, beat Oklahoma, and qualify for the BCS Title Game. Suddenly, the Sooners are a three-loss team on a downward trend. Furthermore, the Sooners were Fiesta Bowl participants last year, a factor bowl committees give weight in their deliberations. Under this scenario, the Fiesta Bowl's most likely choice is between Missouri and Texas. I'd put the odds at 75% that Texas would be their choice.
<ins>Orange Bowl</ins>
Overview: The ACC champion automatically qualifies for the Orange Bowl. No ACC team has a realistic chance to qualify for the national title game.
Where Things Stand Today: Like the Big 12 and SEC, the Atlantic Coast Conference pits its two division winners against one another in a championship game. The winner of this coming Saturday's Clemson-Boston College match up will clinch the Atlantic Division. Virginia Tech must beat Miami and Virginia to capture the Coastal Division crown; otherwise, Virginia is the representative.
The only real question with this conference is whether the conference champ will finish ranked behind Hawaii in the BCS Standings. If so, the Rainbows need only finish in the Top 16 for an auto-bid. Otherwise, Hawaii must finish inside the Top 12.
Texas Fans Should Root For: It's not the most critical conference to Texas' chances, but all these factors matter (and are all subject to change if unexpected results pop up). I think the most logical team to root for is Virginia. Should the Cavs beat Virginia Tech, the Hokies would be a three-loss team unlikely to receive an at-large bid. For its part, Virginia as ACC Champ would almost assuredly finish ahead of Hawaii in the BCS Standings, forcing the Rainbow Warriors to finish in the Top 12.
The worst case scenario? Boston College beats Clemson but falls to Miami in the season finale, then goes on to win the ACC championship game. In that case, the Golden Eagles would be in real danger of finishing behind Hawaii in the BCS Standings, making UH's path to auto-qualification all the easier.
Beyond the Hawaii issue, it's pretty much wait-and-see. After the bowls which lose national title participants make replacement selections, the Orange Bowl will have first choice of the at-large teams. Without knowing how the rest of the season plays out, it's impossible to say who they'd want. A Big 12 runner up Kansas would be attractive. A one-loss Kansas team (to Missouri) is a less likely, but entirely plausible, selection. A two-loss Oklahoma team (provided it beat Tech and Okie State, losing to Missouri in the Big 12 championship) would be an attractive choice. If West Virginia were to lose to UCONN and finish second in the Big East, they would be a viable option. If Oregon wins the Pac 10 but fails to qualify for the national title game, a one-loss Arizona State or two-loss USC team would be strongly considered. The Orange Bowl will have its pick of the litter, but can't make any kind of decision until all these conference championships are decided.
<ins>Final Thoughts</ins>
It's pretty crazy to think about how many different scenarios are in play with teams having just one or two games remaining on their schedules. With that in mind, it's virtually impossible to handicap which BCS Bowl Texas is most likely to receive a bid from. The odds of Texas receiving a BCS bid of any kind can't precisely be calculated, but there are certain outcomes which would significantly help our chances. Clearing Hawaii from the picture is the most important one. Chaos among teams who won't be winning conference championships is always helpful.
Still, we'll just have to wait and see. And, of course, beat Texas A&M. My suggestion would be to pick the bowl you most want Texas to attend and root for that scenario to unfold. The odds are things won't go as any of us foresee them, but as best I can tell, these are the most likely barriers to a Texas bid in a BCS Bowl.
For me? I tend to agree with those who say that a BCS Bowl bid isn't the be-all and end-all. Priorities 1 and 1A are national and conference titles. BCS Bowls are nice for travel, fun, money coffers, and exposure - benefits which are nice but not fundamental goals in the way that championships are. Moreover, I personally wouldn't be too jacked about an Orange Bowl trip to play Virginia, Virginia Tech, Boston College, or Clemson. Truth be told, I'd rather go to the Cotton Bowl to play Florida, or Holiday Bowl to play USC. Everyone's got their own preferences, so pick where you hope we wind up and root for that.
You never know...

RJ Esq · Nov 12, 2007

The Healing Power of Motor Boats

OK, first, the girl going off in the first two minutes is a good friend of ours who we haven't seen in 3-4 years since she moved to LA. She was in my wife's circle of friends. I saw this and said, "Oh, shit! You have to check this out! It's Katy!" We both just pissed ourselves.

The second half of the video demonstrates the healing power of motor boats--like we didn't know about that already.

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/i7GUUwKuyXo&rel=1&border=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/i7GUUwKuyXo&rel=1&border=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

RJ Esq · Nov 12, 2007

Carr’s out

MGoBlog is reporting that Lloyd Carr has leaked news of his impending retirement to the media.
As everyone expected he would, he’s doing it the week of the big game. It’s his last resort play, the last card he has in his pocket, the last bit of coaching he can scrabble together. The old “win the last one for me, boys” motivator.
Will it work? Will it fire up the Wolverines? Will it get the Ann Arbor fans to shake their keys even more vigorously? Will it get Corso to wear the Wolverine headgear?
We’ll see this Saturday. If Bo’s death couldn’t motivate a more talented team in 2006, though, it’s hard to believe how much more effective this news will be. Especially considering the players he recruited might feel a bit betrayed (as is often the case with retirements like this).

RJ Esq · Nov 12, 2007

Ole Miss reinstates DE Hardy

SEC sacks leader to return for game against LSU

Posted: Monday November 12, 2007 1:26PM; Updated: Monday November 12, 2007 1:26PM

OXFORD, Miss. (AP) -- Mississippi coach Ed Orgeron has reinstated defensive end Greg Hardy for Saturday's game against No. 1 LSU.
Hardy was suspended two weeks ago for violation of team rules.
"He has done everything that we've asked him to do over the last two weeks, so we are going to reinstate him on the team," Orgeron said Monday. "He will be at practice today, so we're excited about that and we expect him to do very well with us."
Hardy was suspended before the game at Auburn on Oct. 27 and had been kept away from the team. Orgeron said Hardy did nothing illegal and attended all classes and tutoring sessions during his suspension.
Despite missing two games, Hardy remains the Southeastern Conference's leader in sacks (one per game), tackles for loss (1.94 per game) and forced fumbles (0.38 per game).
When asked about the sophomore's reaction to being reinstated, Orgeron said: "Greg's ready to be back on the team. Greg did everything I asked him to do."

RJ Esq · Nov 12, 2007

Lloyd Carr to announce retirement

<script type="text/javascript"> </script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"> </script><iframe name="google_ads_frame" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/ads?client=ca-pub-0237893561790135&dt=1194913901140&lmt=1194913900&alt_color=ffffff&format=300x250_as&output=html&correlator=1194913901125&channel=0603066557&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fanblogs.com%2Fmichigan%2F007285.php&color_bg=FFFFFF&color_text=333333&color_link=003399&color_url=999999&color_border=FFFFFF&ad_type=text_image&ref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Freader%2Fview%2F&cc=100&ga_vid=1546096358.1193703380&ga_sid=1194913901&ga_hid=1680152788&ga_fc=true&flash=9&u_h=768&u_w=1280&u_ah=738&u_aw=1280&u_cd=32&u_tz=-480&u_his=1&u_java=true&u_nplug=26&u_nmime=104" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" vspace="0" hspace="0" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="250" scrolling="no" width="300"></iframe> Brian at MGoBlog has the inside beat on Lloyd Carr announcing his retirement.

Three separate sources indicate that Carr has made his decision to retire official and people around the athletic department are being told. The formal announcement will come after the Ohio State game, possibly at the Monday press conference, possibly a day or two later.

Although Brian generally has some pretty good sources, I'm not sure I would post this normally without a second source; however, there certainly are indications that something is going on at Michigan. The moderators at Rivals member site TheWolverine.com are deleting threads left and right about the Carr resignation, but have conceded that they are working on the story.
From my perspective, it sounds to me as if Michigan is trying to "manage the news cycle" and put the word out in a manner and at a time as they deem fit. I can't argue with that, as Coach Carr has definitely earned that at Michigan.
So... putting two and two together... it appears that Lloyd Carr will announce his retirement.
Which begs the question... who will be the next head coach at Michigan?

We asked the question last month in the wake of the Les Miles to Michigan rumors.

As many know, Les Miles is a Michigan man. He played there, he coached there, and many believe his heart is at Michigan. So, if the position came upon after this season, would Les Miles be interested? Well, he isn't saying no.

I don't want you to take the fast, hard line. I want you to hear me out. I am indebted to that school and those people. Not Lloyd or the president there. But the tremendous memory of Bo Schembechler, and the quality that I was exposed to both academically and in football at the school. So I cannot in any way change that view. That's an honesty. I can't tell you my appreciation. My wife, my first born, my entire life is marked by my time at Michigan. Yet, I'm in a wonderful place here. I've got a great team. If I lose or have any distraction to that fact, that I would spend fun time, my time on something else like the view of that, would be a mistake. It would be a mistake and I really can't. When I was a young coach, I had a school call me. It was so distracting. I did everything that I was supposed to do, but it affected me. Things like this really have no day-to-day change in the way I do things. I woke up at 4 a.m. today and I'm daydreaming, I'm not thinking about anything else but how to make this football team better. That to me is the right feel. I have great confidence in Michigan and they have a great staff there and they're going to do great things this year. I have no designs and nor has it ever been displayed to me that I'm the next guy, by anybody. I have given little or no thought to things that are not imminent. I really don't want to spend any more time talking about another program.
Lloyd Carr won a national championship and that staff is as quality as there is. I fully support what they're doing there.

As I said at the time, this was Miles showing interest... respectfully. Since those comments, there's been very little written about Miles statement, but he hasn't backed away from it at all.
Miles has a $1.25 million buyout if he leaves LSU for Michigan (compared to a $500,000 buyout if he leaves for another job).
Can Michigan afford $1.25 million plus his coach's salary? In a heartbeat. Chump-change to the Maize-n-Blue. The only question is... does Miles want the job?

RJ Esq · Nov 12, 2007

Council suspended for South Florida game
By Mike Section: News
Posted on Mon Nov 12, 2007 at 06:01:33 PM EDT

Steve Kragthorpe announced today that junior cornerback Rod Council has been suspended for Saturday's game at South Florida for an unspecified violation of team rules.
Council has started all ten games this season, and leads the team in interceptions with two. His 27 tackles rank ninth on the team.
Whoohoo! Go Cards beat USF!

RJ Esq · Nov 12, 2007

It's Super Bowl Week For Duke

Posted Nov 12th 2007 7:46PM by Nathan Fowler
Filed under: Notre Dame Football, ACC, General CFB Insanity, Duke Football

Duke football fans can't wait until this weekend's matchup with Notre Dame in South Bend ... in fact that game has become the Duke Super Bowl. The awesome dukesuperbowl.com is dedicated to "celebrating Duke's chance to beat Notre Dame in a real tackle football game" and points out that "this is our best chance for a big victory and to experience a bowl game". In depth analysis follows as they breakdown both teams: both are 1-9 and "rebuilding", they have the same number of bowl wins over the past 10 seasons (none), Dave Brown can't hold up to Joe Montana when you compare famous QB alumni, etc. Duke fans have a great sense of humor, who knew?

RJ Esq · Nov 12, 2007

We Burned Your Town To The Ground!

Posted Nov 12th 2007 8:08PM by Nathan Fowler
Filed under: Kansas Football, Big 12, NCAA FB Fans, Missouri Football, General CFB Insanity, Featured Stories, The Word

You know what the best part of Kansas and Missouri having their best ever seasons at the very same time is? The entire nation will get exposed to what is possibly the most bitter and hateful rivalry in the country in all it's glory (or shame, if you prefer). You can have your Ohio State v. Michigan or Alabama v. Auburn, but the last time I checked nobody from Columbus ever went to Ann Arbor and systematically executed every man they could find while burning the town to the ground. And certainly nobody made t-shirts later celebrating that fact.

But that did happen in 1863 in Lawrence, KS when William Quantrill led his band of "Bushwackers" to the "Jayhawker" stronghold and went on a 4 hour rampage that would become known as the "Lawrence Massacre" - one of the ugliest episodes of the brutal 10+ years of fighting along the Kansas and Missouri border. While the Civil War has become the South v. the North in most people's minds, the fighting in fact began as a violent guerrilla conflict between the abolitionists in Kansas and the slave holding Missouri settlers (more or less, like many guerrilla campaigns there were quite blurred lines at times). In many ways, those old wounds have never quite healed - Grandpa Simpson will be be deep in the cold, cold ground before he recognizes Missour-ah as a state, for example.
Those t-shirts seen above that some Missouri fans are making for the showdown at Arrowhead in two weeks are celebrating the Lawrence Massacre and in fact have Quantrill's visage and slogan emblazoned on the back - "Raise the Black Flag and Ride Hard Boys. Our Cause is Just and Our Enemies Many". Talk about going straight past normal levels of fan behavior and making a hard right turn into loony land, that might be the single most offensive gameday t-shirt I've ever seen. Kansas fans are now responding with t-shirts sporting noted violent Kansas abolitionist John Brown (who led a massacre of his own and the 1859 Harper's Ferry raid that really kicked off the Civil War powder keg) with the slogan "Keeping America Safe From Missouri Since 1854" - a mock-up of those t-shirts can be seen here.

This game is going to be played on a neutral site at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City - home to huge parking lots for tailgating and beer sales in the stadium during the game. It's going to be for a berth in the Big XII Championship Game at the very least, and a shot at the National Championship at the most. Liquored up fans sharing the same parking lots and stadium, some who are celebrating their history of brutal violence against each other? Two fanbases who hate each other, with the chance to not only continue their own dream season but also to end the chance of glory for their rivals? Yeah, no way that doesn't end up without at least a few folks in the slammer. It's going to be a fun Saturday for the KCPD and Jackson County Sheriffs.

counselor · Nov 13, 2007

Decision time. Considering reducing units per play, taking a break until bowls, reducing number of plays, or just packing it in for the year.

Winning percentage is not too bad considering this year and how bad of a run I've had over the last 6 weeks, but the loss of bankroll probably cannot be overcome this year.

Anyway. I'm taking tomorrow off and maybe the entire week to make money through my business and take my mind off of betting football.

Unfortunately, I'm with you. I really appreciate your dedication and hard work putting together this thread and to this forum. I've said it before, but there is just a ton of useful information that you provide week-in and week-out. Whatever you decide, good luck.

:shake:

Aztec4Life · Nov 13, 2007

LOL RJ! Love the new avatar bro! Classic picture!

Been a crazy college football season, so don't let the tough capping season get you down. If you do make any plays this week, GL bro!

:cheers:

RJ Esq · Nov 13, 2007

Reminder: HBO Doc on The Game Tonight!

Don't forget that the HBO documentary on the Michigan-Ohio State rivalry airs tonight at 10:30 pm.

RJ Esq · Nov 13, 2007

Leach gets fined $10K for comments about refs. Comments here.

I don't necessarily disagree. Just not on that Texas game. I didn't see a bad call on those TD replays and neither did most Red Raider fans watching on TV.

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NCX8ow4gTkw&rel=1&border=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NCX8ow4gTkw&rel=1&border=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

RJ Esq · Nov 13, 2007

Refs maybe screwed Colorado too.

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ASjVduqMZgQ&rel=1&border=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ASjVduqMZgQ&rel=1&border=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

RJ Esq · Nov 13, 2007

LIFE ON THE MARGINS, WEEK ELEVEN
By SMQ
Posted on Tue Nov 13, 2007 at 09:58:16 AM EDT

Weekly obsessing over statistical anomalies and fringe idiosyncracies. Don’t get carried away by these scores from last weekend...
(As always, click here for a definition of 'Swing points')

<table cellpadding="3" cellspacing="3"> <tbody><tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(164, 74, 74) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="center">
</td> <td align="center">Alabama</td> <td align="center">Miss. State</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">Total Offense</td> <td align="center">274</td> <td align="center">215</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">1st Downs</td> <td align="center">23</td> <td align="center">14</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">Yds./Play</td> <td align="center">3.8</td> <td align="center">3.4</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Yds./Possession</td> <td align="center">23.4</td> <td align="center">21.5</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">Turnovers</td> <td align="center">2</td> <td align="center">1</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Swing Points</td> <td align="center">0</td> <td align="center">+14</td> </tr> </tbody></table>
Final Score: Miss. State 17, Alabama 12
- - -
Mississippi State has scored three big SEC upsets over ranked teams to get itself bowl eligible this year, but here we see the reason the Bulldogs are still mostly regarded as a fluke – it’s not because their jerseys say “Mississippi State,” but because their play (especially on offense) is entirely reminiscent of the familiar, hapless MSU teams of Sylvester Croom’s first three years, and the team that was thoroughly wiped out in the opener by LSU. Auburn, Kentucky and now Bama have fallen only by inept, ill-timed turnovers and a string of missed opportunities, and the Tide was the worst victim of both Saturday. Alabama intercepted Wesley Carroll’s first pass attempt (two plays after MSU fumbled on the first snap of the game) at the MSU 26 and only came away with a field goal. Its second drive stalled in Bulldog territory and led to another field goal. Its fourth drive stalled in the MSU red zone and led to another field goal. Its fifth possession was a 12-play, 78-yard marathon to the goalline to go ahead 16-3 at the half and led to, well:

<object height="315" width="375">

<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/iz_rrT3lyE4&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="315" width="375"></object></p> Alabama outgained MSU 185-117 in the first half, took four of its five full possessions well into State territory, forced an interception, three punts and a field goal on defense and trailed, 10-9. The Bulldogs extended their lead immediately in third quarter, picking off Parker Wilson again on the third play of the second half to set up a short, 25-yard touchdown “drive,” which was all it needed – for the next 19 minutes, Bama outgained MSU 118-37 while the Bulldogs continued to punt punt punt, but after the Tide kicked its fourth field goal with 6:47 to play, State went on the most time-consuming 38-yards-and-punt drive in history: over six minutes on eleven plays (33.5 seconds per play, to be exact), all but one of them handoffs, including one 11-yard run on a 3rd-and-10. Bama got the ball back with 29 seconds and no chance to finally punch it in.

<table cellpadding="3" cellspacing="3"> <tbody><tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(164, 74, 74) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="center">
</td> <td align="center">Colorado</td> <td align="center">Iowa State</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">Total Offense</td> <td align="center">419</td> <td align="center">351</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">1st Downs</td> <td align="center">17</td> <td align="center">18</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">Yds./Play</td> <td align="center">5.8</td> <td align="center">5.1</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Yds./Possession</td> <td align="center">27.9</td> <td align="center">27.0</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">Turnovers</td> <td align="center">1</td> <td align="center">1</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Swing Points</td> <td align="center">0</td> <td align="center">0</td> </tr> </tbody></table>
Final Score: Iowa State 31, Colorado 28
- - -
This is more about the ending than anything else, because the stats and circumstances show a game as even as the score indicates. Colorado dominated the first half, going into the locker room with a 21-0 lead, but after CU failed on a 4th-and-1 attempt from its own 44 to start the third quarter, the Cyclones ripped off 24 straight points while the Buffaloes went three-and-out on their next four drives. ISU extended the lead to 31-21 after a Colorado fumble with about four minutes to play, setting up a dramatic, baffling finish. The Buffs cut the score to 31-28, forced a three-and-out and got the ball back at their own 27 with 1:26 on the clock and no timeouts. Cody Hawkins completed four passes for 40 yards down to the ISU 34 with a few seconds left, at which point (on 4th-and-1, so they couldn’t spike the ball) the field goal team rushed on for a 51-yard attempt to tie. Kevin Eberhart made the kick with one second left – but officials waved it off, explaining the ball had not been whistled ready for play before it was snapped. CU took a delay of game penalty for the early snap, moved back for a 55-yard try, and Eberhart nailed it again, apparently sending the game to overtime. But officials huddled and waved it off again, because the clock started (or should have started) after the penalty on the “ready for play” signal rather than the snap, and therefore the last second ticked off before Colorado could get the play underway. Two 50-plus-yard kicks nullified, game over.

<object height="315" width="375">

<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ASjVduqMZgQ&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="315" width="375"></object></p> Big 12 officiating coordinator Walt Anderson confirmed the calls were correct, though he did offer this weird caveat:

Anderson said rules call for the clock to go back to its original status before the penalty was called. The clock was running at the time because the Buffs had no time outs. He said there is an exception to the rule calling for the clock to be re-started but it is not intended for the situation that unfolded Saturday. "The exception that is in there is to prevent a team that is wanting to run the clock out," Anderson said. "So if it becomes fourth down and the defense is going to get the ball, but rather than punting the ball they just line up in a scrimmage kick formation and intentionally let the clock run out. Because it was running, the rule says that you assess the penalty and then you wind the clock. That exception is in there so that a team is not allowed just to bleed the clock down."
"It's also at the referee's discretion because the opposite also holds true. If you have a team that doesn't want the clock to run but doesn't have any time outs, you don't allow them, in essence, to commit a foul thereby causing the clock to stop."
- - -
(Emphasis mine)

I would not find much solace if I was Colorado in that explanation: at the referee’s discretion? It was at the referee’s discretion, after all, to take too long to call the ball ready for play on the first try: CU was over the ball, set and had a running clock about the hit zero, and they were supposed to wait? And then, at the referee’s discretion, the clock started on the whistle rather than the snap. So, whether or not it should have come down to a field goal against Iowa State, CU was directly denied overtime at the referee’s discretion. Sorry, but we saw the ball go through the uprights twice. I have a real problem with the negation of accomplishment (see my reaction to the Tennessee-South Carolina game two weeks ago for the same impulse re: the negation of failure); a legitimate penalty is one thing, but I need a better reason than “at the referee’s discretion” to wipe the reality of “field goal good” from the books.

<table cellpadding="3" cellspacing="3"> <tbody><tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(164, 74, 74) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="center">
</td> <td align="center">Michigan State</td> <td align="center">Purdue</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">Total Offense</td> <td align="center">416</td> <td align="center">517</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">1st Downs</td> <td align="center">22</td> <td align="center">21</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">Yds./Play</td> <td align="center">4.9</td> <td align="center">7.4</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Yds./Possession</td> <td align="center">32.0</td> <td align="center">39.8</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">Turnovers</td> <td align="center">0</td> <td align="center">3</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Swing Points</td> <td align="center">+17</td> <td align="center">0</td> </tr> </tbody></table>
Final Score: Michigan State 48, Purdue 31
- - -
Pretty straightforward here: Purdue moved the ball effectively (very, very effectively; look at yards per play), but gave away two touchdowns and a field goal in a game it ultimately lost by two touchdowns and a field goal. It doesn’t matter how effective you are on offense when you barely have the ball – MSU played almost no defense whatsoever, giving up drives of 80, 66, 76, 53, 68 and 54 yards, for starters, but won time of possession by a huge margin, 38:18 to 21:42 by making a few big plays. The first was an interception in the second quarter that set a quick, easy three-yard touchdown march (it did take the Spartans three plays to punch it in); another pick set up a field goal on the last play of the half. Michigan State took a fumble back 20 yards at the start of the fourth quarter to essentially ice it. For the record, Purdue didn’t play any defense, either: beginning midway through the first quarter, the Spartans scored on seven of nine possessions, and missed a field goal after a solid drive on another. It just took them a little longer to get there. And a great portion of MSU’s yardage advantage came on its final two garbage drives, which each ended after a few first downs with the Spartans failing on fourth down. The turnovers are the thing here.
Notes: Minnesota outgained Iowa in yards and first downs in a 21-16 loss, but by such small margins it’s barely worth noting – on paper, it was about as even a game as a game between two second class teams (that’s putting it kindly in the Gophers’ case) could reasonably be. Actually, the Hawkeyes led throughout and Minnesota only pulled within five on a long drive in the last two minutes, but Tim Brewster will take any little hint of positivity at this point.

<table align="center" width="40%"><tbody><tr><td>
</td></tr></tbody></table>

RJ Esq · Nov 13, 2007

OK, not football related but I found it on a CFB blog so it must be somehow, tangetially related.

You never make em touch.

You never finish.

Stop making eye contact.

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BkgMbU-we1o&rel=1&border=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BkgMbU-we1o&rel=1&border=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

RJ Esq · Nov 13, 2007

Did Urban Meyer Run Up the Score Against Spurrier?

Posted Nov 13th 2007 8:27AM by Ryan Ferguson
Filed under: Florida Football, SEC, South Carolina Football
<object height="355" width="425">

<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/L8HK8KjwKIo&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></object>
No, but that will inevitably be the conclusion of some Gamecock fans. Here you see Tim Tebow, as viewed from a fan in the endzone, lofting a 21-yard touchdown pass to Andre Caldwell with 1:45 remaining in the game. Florida had a 13-point lead at the time.

The touchdown killed whatever slim hopes South Carolina still had of stopping the Gators on their final drive, scoring quickly, then recovering an onside kick and scoring again to win.

Speaking as a Florida fan, I was very nervous on that down. Florida had rushed twice for only 5 yards, and Spurrier had called his first timeout of the half after a 3-yard rush by RB Kestahn Moore. With 1:45 remaining, the 'Cocks were in a position to force a field goal attempt if the Gators didn't covert on 3rd-and-5. Florida's kicker, Joey Ijjas, had missed a PAT earlier in the evening, so a 38-yard field goal was far from a gimme. Clearly, that was Spurrier's design; he was still trying to win the ball game.

The Ol' Ball Coach may not be having a season for the ages, and some of the luster of his previous accomplishments is finally wearing off in Columbia, but he's still Steve Spurrier. You don't want to give him the ball with a less than 2-TD lead and nearly two minutes to play.

In the video you'll notice that South Carolina is rushing six, keeping #32 Marcus Davis in as a QB spy, and dropping four back into coverage, selling out to stop the run. In the defensive backfield, safety Emmanuel Cook is a non-factor, at least 7 yards away from Andre Caldwell when the Gators WR makes his TD grab.

If you've watched Florida's offense at all this year, you'll recognize this is a standard play for the Gators. When the defense takes away the run, Tebow lobs it to a wide open receiver. In this case, it was a play which sealed the Gators' victory and was safe from the perspective that Tebow's health wasn't at risk.

Running up the score? Nope. A personal jab by Meyer to Spurrier? Nope. A team putting a game away by running their offense to perfection? Yep.

RJ Esq · Nov 13, 2007

Video of OSU getting screwed by refs. Not really. The still won. Maybe OSU backers though. Final was 29-23. With the TD, it would have been 36-23. Would that have mattered?

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-O1QGjGFYlg&rel=1&border=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-O1QGjGFYlg&rel=1&border=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

RJ Esq · Nov 13, 2007

<table><tbody><tr><td colspan="3" class="storytitle"> Cavalcade of Whimsy - The Heisman Candidate </td> </tr> <tr> <td class="primaryimage" valign="top">

Floirda QB Tim Tebow
</td> <td nowrap="nowrap" width="3">
</td> <td valign="top"> <table bgcolor="#f5f5f5" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1" width="60%"> <tbody><tr valign="top"> <td nowrap="nowrap" valign="middle">By Pete Fiutak
CollegeFootballNews.com
Posted Nov 13, 2007
</td> <td nowrap="nowrap">
</td> </tr> </tbody></table>

In a super-sized, two-part Cavalcade of Whimsy, part one looks at the Ohio State loss, the piling on Charlie Weis, and the one and only choice for the Heisman (at the moment). Part two analyzes the scenarios to get to the national title game for ten top contenders.
</td></tr> <tr> <td colspan="3">
[FONT=verdana, arial, sans serif]Fiu's Cavalcade of Whimsy[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, sans serif]
a.k.a. Frank Costanza's Festivus Airing of the Grievances [/FONT] [FONT=verdana, arial, sans serif][SIZE=-2]

By Pete Fiutak
What's your beef? ... E-mail with your thoughts
Past Whimsies [/SIZE][/FONT] 2006 Season | Preseason Part One, Part Two | Week 1
Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 | Week 5 | Week 6 | Week 7 | Week 8
Week 9 | Week 10

Week 11 Cavalcade of Whimsy, Part 2
If this column sucks, it’s not my fault … like Nebraska head coach Bill Callahan, I’m not quitting before the season ends. Although for a $3.1 million buyout, I might give it a little bit of thought.

“He’s spinning the ball on his finger! Just take it!” … Uh, Ohio State, Juice Williams is going to run the ball on the next play. He’s going to run it up the middle, and then after that, he’s going to run it up the middle again. He might have burned you early through the air, but make him try doing that for an entire game. Illinois told the Buckeyes what pitch was coming, and it was still unhittable.

Losing to Urban Meyer is one thing, but … You just know that Jim Tressel, once he was able to retreat to the privacy of his office, broke something tasteful and mumbled under his breath, “I can’t believe I lost to Ron (bleep)ing Zook.”

Juice Williams just ran for eight more yards on the OSU linebackers.

And the funny part is that the most entertaining matchup of the bunch would be a 13-0 Kansas vs. a 12-0 Hawaii … You want the season to take a wild and chaotic twist? Take a moment and wonder what will happen if both LSU and Oregon lose. Much, much more on this in a moment, but it’s not as far-fetched as you think, and it would send the season into a further tailspin.

It’s $50 if you want to “Dot the i” … Ohio State third string quarterback Antonio Henton pleaded guilty last week to a misdemeanor count of loitering for prostitution when he allegedly offered an undercover police officer $20 for sex. 1) If Henton had been offered, and accepted, $20 for sex, would that be an NCAA violation? 2) I’m not exactly up on the current fair market value for booty, but $20? I’m guessing you don’t get fries with that shake. 3) If an Ohio State football player has to pay for sex, what hope is there for the rest of us? No wonder the team played tight against the Illini.

But who cares about football when you live in a city where an Andy Jackson gets you a little yee-ha time … To Buckeye fans currently wondering aloud why their team is out of the national title picture with a loss, while LSU, Oregon, Oklahoma, Missouri and West Virginia are still in the race: you already know the answer to your beef. You can’t lose late and play for the national title, unless you’re 2003 Oklahoma or 2001 Nebraska. It's not necessarily fair, and that's why the computers should be more involved in the overall formula, but that's the way the world works.

Note to the Cleveland Browns: He’s Derek Anderson. Don’t open up that checkbook quite yet … In retrospect, how good was Brady Quinn? Basically, this is the same Notre Dame team that went to a BCS game two years in a row, but it doesn’t have Quinn, Jeff Samardzija, Rhema McKnight, or Darius Walker. Think about it. The Irish defense, despite not generating any pressure, is giving up fewer yards per game than last year. The offensive line is just as awful, but Quinn, unlike the current Irish quarterbacks, was able to get rid of the ball faster and was decent at avoiding sacks. The punt return game is a wee bit better, and the secondary is playing far better. It’ll be interesting to see how history judges Quinn and the 2005 and 2006 Irish seasons if Charlie Weis isn’t able to turn this around.

Juice Williams just ran for six more yards on the OSU linebackers.

Mostly, I’d like to thank the head man for making it reasonably acceptable for me to wear a hoodie on a daily basis … Bill Belichik might be a world-class mellonhead, the defensive stars might be insufferable blowhards, and Tom Brady, well, Tom Brady might be the greatest quarterback not named Elway, but I have the New England Patriot pom pons out to go 19-0 if only to finally crush the sad and bizarre world of the 1972 Miami Dolphins who refuse to acknowledge that their team was the equivalent of Hawaii winning the BCS Championship. This was a very good team that played a mediocre schedule, and it just so happened to get through unscathed. In any order you want to put them in, the 1984 San Francisco 49ers, 1978 Pittsburgh Steelers, 1977 Dallas Cowboys, 1989 San Francisco 49ers, 1985 Chicago Bears and the 1976 Oakland Raiders were all better. From Don Shula popping off about “Spygate,” which by all insider accounts really wasn’t as big a competitive advantage as many has made it seem, and wasn’t a practice exclusive to the Patriots, to the crew that pops Champaign every year to celebrate when the last NFL unbeaten team loses, this group needs to be shoved aside.

And while we’re on the topic … Former Miami Dolphin and Irish offensive lineman Bob Kuchenberg has been popping off about Charlie Weis, calling him an ogre and questioning his character for leveraging a little bit of early success, and a pro offer, for a big contract. You might not like Weis. He might not be a barrel of laughs and he might not be the warm and fuzzy coach Irish fans might like, considering Lou Holtz is in the spotlight with his prominent gig at ESPN, but all coaches are ogres. That's part of the job description. You don't get to be the head coach of a major college football program without being a jerk. With the possible exception of Joe Paterno, there's not a coach in the history of the planet who wouldn't take advantage of the situation that Weis was in to get more money. That's not questionable character; that's good business.

But they’ll be fully healed just in time to lose yet another Rose Bowl … All Michigan stars Chad Henne and Mike Hart talked about in the off-season was how they needed to beat Ohio State and win a bowl game to cement their legacies. 0-3 against the Buckeyes, if they play a few series this week and have to come out because of their injuries, and then the Wolverines win because Ryan Mallett goes nuts, do they really get to say they beat Ohio State?

“[FONT=&quot]O Lord please don't burn us/don't grill or toast your flock./Don't put us on the barbecue,/or simmer us in stock.” ... Just once I’d like to see a sideline reporter have some stones to cut off a player in a post-game interview who goes off on a God rant without answering the question.

Reporter: “Steve, obviously this was one of the biggest wins in the program’s history. Describe what the offense did to move the ball on this seemingly impenetrable defense.”

Player: “I’d like to thank God for making all this happen. Without him …

Reporter (shoving the player out of the way while going to another player): “Yeah, yeah, yeah, rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, yay God. So, Greg, tell me what did you do to slow down such a hot running game?”

Players, if you feel the need to praise God for what just happened on a dumb ball field, that's fine, but do it at the very end after you've extended the courtesy to talk about the game itself. And if you get your chance to throw your shout out, thank your higher power for giving you the strength to be the best you could be, and not for beating a team of apparent heathens who obviously didn’t pray hard enough.

But I’ll only vote for him if stops preening around in that skintight performance-wear thing while I’m polishing off brownie number four … Despite cries to the contrary, there actually is a runaway Heisman candidate with impeccable credentials. He was the nation’s leader in passing efficiency for most of the year before plummeting all the way to No. 2 last week. In other words, he’s one of college football's best passers completing 68% of his throws for 2,532 yards and 23 touchdowns with five interceptions.

There are only five quarterbacks, UL Lafayette’s Michael Desormeaux, West Virginia's Pat White, Washington’s Jake Locker, Navy’s Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada and Texas A&M’s Stephen McGee, who are averaging more rushing yards per game. He’s third in the nation in touchdown runs, with at least one in every game, obliterated the conference record for most rushing scores by a quarterback in a season, and set the school’s all-time season record for rushing touchdowns in a season, passing Emmitt Smith along the way. In other words, he’s one of the nation’s best runners.

Meanwhile, with a bull’s-eye clearly on his back, and playing in the nation’s toughest conference in the brightest of weekly spotlights, he’s always producing despite suffering a shoulder injury a few weeks ago.

So if Florida's Tim Tebow is having the best all-around statistical season of any quarterback, and it’s not even close, then why isn’t he getting any Heisman love? Why, and how, is this still a race?

The biggest problem is the record, losing three games so far. However, in the losses to Auburn, LSU and Georgia, Tebow wasn’t bad; it’s not his fault the defense is average, and it wasn't his fault the Gators lost. Second, he’s a sophomore. The Heisman always goes to running backs and quarterbacks, and it always goes to upperclassmen. If Tebow was a senior, this might be over. In 2001, Florida’s Rex Grossman was the best player in America, but he was a sophomore, Nebraska’s Eric Crouch was a senior, and the voters stayed true to form.

There’s certainly still time for things to change, but at the moment, there’s no other choice.[/FONT]

Juice Williams just ran for seven more yards on the OSU linebackers.

However, it doesn’t look great when the conference has losses to an FBS team, Duke, and Florida Atlantic … I groused earlier in the year that you can’t overhype SEC teams when the above-average teams start beating each other, and in the same way, you can’t dog the Big Ten when the losses come to each other. Continually a national punching bag, mainly because Michigan tanked early on, the rest of the league was solid in non-conference games and now is struggling to get back on the radar after a relatively even conference year with everyone but Minnesota getting bowl eligible. Wisconsin’s losses came to Penn State, Illinois and Ohio State. Penn State’s losses came to Michigan, Illinois and Ohio State. The Illinois losses were to Iowa (lousy), Michigan (not that bad), and out of conference to Missouri (more than acceptable). No, this isn’t a great league this year, but outside of the SEC, what is?

Like you needed to see another Northwestern game anyway … If you’re a big fan of Northwestern, Indiana or Michigan State, then get your Maize and Blue sweatshirt out. If Michigan beats Ohio State, then it’ll go to the Rose Bowl while the Buckeyes have a shot at an at-large BCS bid, opening up a bowl slot for another Big Ten team. Ten Big Ten teams are bowl eligible, with Minnesota being the one left out of the fun, but there aren’t nearly enough openings for all to get a 13<sup>th</sup> game. Considering the Motor City Bowl will likely want to sell tickets, it’ll probably want Michigan State, and considering Iowa fans go everywhere, someone will want the Hawkeyes. That means Indiana and Northwestern will be left out in the cold. Meanwhile, ten SEC teams are bowl eligible, and there could be an 11th if Vanderbilt gets one more win. Unless a league like Conference USA doesn't fill its open slots, South Carolina, Arkansas, Alabama and Mississippi State will all be sweating it out.

This just in. Gordon Riese has been named the new head of the BCS … Considering all the weeping and gnashing of teeth after the ugly replay incident in last year’s Oregon win over Oklahoma, the Sooner fans' feelings towards the Ducks, can you imagine the nuclear bomb of angst that’ll go off in Norman if the Sooners breeze their way to a Big 12 championship and get passed over for Dennis Dixon and the boys for a spot in the national title game?

And by the way, Appalachian State is 8-2 … Least anticipated sequel ever: Teen Wolf II vs. a Michigan – Oregon Rose Bowl. Discuss.

SEX!!! Now that we’ve got your attention, the game starts at 7:30 … At some point, someone is going to realize that there should be a reclassification of the D-I/FCS teams. Explain how Eastern Michigan, who got 4,304 fans to show up for the final home game of the year against Bowling Green, is supposed to compete like Michigan, who’ll bring in over 110,000 fans this week against Ohio State. There should probably be a cutoff of at least 30,000 fans per game to be D-I.

Nuggets for the upcoming week, now made with white meat, at participating restaurants …

- Remembering that Internet rumors as worth the paper they're printed on, there appears to be some life to the idea of Lloyd Carr announcing his retirement soon after the season. LSU head man Les Miles is all but been handed the gig by many Maize and Blue fans, but a national title this year in Baton Rouge would chance all that.

- The ACC’s best quarterback right now isn’t Boston College’s Matt Ryan, it’s Clemson’s Cullen Harper. Don’t think that Ryan isn’t hearing that going into this week’s showdown in Death Valley. Watch out for his A game.

- If you’re a stathead, keep an eye on the Tulane-Rice game. Jarett Dillard, last year’s breakout receiving star, has found his groove with 24 catches for 296 yards and four touchdowns in the last two games. Tulane can’t defend the pass. Tulane’s Matt Forte leads the nation with 1,813 yards and 17 touchdowns with two games to go, and Rice can’t defend the run.

- How much has the world of college football changed? Watching a classic replay of 1978 USC over Alabama, one of the regional action games available the following week was Hobart vs. St. Lawrence

- Forget about any thoughts of Nebraska looking for a Nick Saban-like outside-the-family hire after Bill Callahan is booted. As long as Dr. Tom is around in some way, this is his program, and no star coach will be able to put his personal stamp on it.

C.O.W. shameless gimmick item … The weekly five Overrated/Underrated aspects of the world
1) Overrated: Appalachian State over Michigan ... Underrated: Gardner-Webb over Kentucky
2) Overrated: Don Shula … Underrated: Shula’s Steakhouse
3) Overrated: Ohio State losing late ... Underrated: Oregon and Oklahoma losing early
4) Overrated: A D-II playoff system with 24 teams getting in... Underrated: The BCS
5) Overrated: Chase Daniel... Underrated: Chase Daniels, as all the ESPNers call him

My Heisman ballot this week would be … I vote based on a combination of three things: Most valuable player, most outstanding player, and the signature player of the season. I might wildly change my mind weekly, but I’ll sort it all out at the end. 1) Tim Tebow, Florida, 2) Dennis Dixon, Oregon, 3) Pat White, West Virginia, 4) Glenn Dorsey, LSU, 5) Chase Daniel, Missouri

“You know I'm born to lose, and gambling's for fools/But that's the way I like it baby, I don't wanna live forever” … The three lines this week that appear to be a tad off. (1-1-1 thanks to Central Michigan’s three point win over Western Michigan … 10-20-1 overall.) … 1) New Mexico +14.5 over Utah, 2) Arizona +12 over Oregon, 3) Duke +6 over Notre Dame.

Sorry this column sucked, but it wasn’t my fault … I thought I wrote a strong article, and then Wyoming head coach Joe Glenn gave his one-finger opinion of it.
</td></tr></tbody></table>

RJ Esq · Nov 13, 2007

<table><tbody><tr><td colspan="3" class="storytitle"> Cavalcade of Whimsy, Part 2 - Why not Hawaii? </td> </tr> <tr> <td class="primaryimage" valign="top">

Hawaii WR Ryan Grice-Mullen
</td> <td nowrap="nowrap" width="3">
</td> <td valign="top"> <table bgcolor="#f5f5f5" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1" width="60%"> <tbody><tr valign="top"> <td nowrap="nowrap" valign="middle">By Pete Fiutak
CollegeFootballNews.com
Posted Nov 13, 2007
</td> <td nowrap="nowrap">
</td> </tr> </tbody></table>

In part two of this week's Cavalcade of Whimsy, the chances and scenarios to get to the national title game are broken down for the ten top contenders, including Ryan Grice-Mullen's Hawaii.
</td></tr> <tr> <td colspan="3">
[FONT=verdana, arial, sans serif]Fiu's Cavalcade of Whimsy

Part 2[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, sans serif]
a.k.a. Frank Costanza's Festivus Airing of the Grievances [/FONT] [FONT=verdana, arial, sans serif][SIZE=-2]

By Pete Fiutak
What's your beef? ... E-mail with your thoughts
Past Whimsies [/SIZE][/FONT] 2006 Season | Preseason Part One, Part Two | Week 1
Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 | Week 5 | Week 6 | Week 7 | Week 8
Week 9 | Week 10 | Week 11, Part 1
The C.O.W. airing of the grievances followed by the feats of strength

It’s not about what you believe, it’s about what you can prove. When it comes to the BCS and the national championship, it’s about who deserves to be in and not who everyone thinks should be in.

Fact: Prior to January 8th, 99% of the population outside of the greater Gainesville metropolitan area assumed there was no need to play the 2006 national title and mentally handed it to Ohio State.

Fact: ESPN, among others, were comparing the 2006 USC team to every great dynasty in the history of mankind before Vince Young had something to say about it.

Fact: Most believed Ohio State didn’t need to bother showing up to Tempe on January 3rd, 2003 to face a Miami team considered to be among the greatest of all-time.

1983 Miami vs. Nebraska. 2000 Oklahoma vs. Florida State. 1992 Alabama vs. Miami. The list goes on and on of upsets that few believed could possibly happen. So with that in mind, forget about what you think you know, and what you think is right. Here are ten national title contenders who are still in the hunt, what they need to do to get a top two spot, and most importantly, how much they deserve to be in the discussion.

10. Hawaii
Every conversation about the national title seems to begin with the phrase, “Hawaii isn’t realistically in the discussion …,” or something to that effect. Why not? Boise State didn’t have a chance against Oklahoma in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl, right? Appalachian State and Stanford are just a few of the teams who have proven that the wacky and unpredictable can happen this season, so in a one-game shot, if Hawaii is the lone unbeaten team, shouldn’t it get a chance at the big prize? Remember, this isn’t 1984 BYU playing a lousy Michigan team in the Holiday Bowl. This would be an unbeaten FCS team playing a big-time foe on the game's biggest stage.

What has to happen: Work with me here and you’ll see I’m not all that insane. LSU loses to a three-loss Tennessee in the SEC Championship game. Oklahoma gets bombed on at Texas Tech, loses, but wins the Big 12 title by beating a Missouri team that thumps Kansas. Michigan beats Ohio State, West Virginia loses at Cincinnati, Arizona State loses to USC, and Oregon loses at either Arizona or UCLA or in the Civil War against Oregon State. If all that happens, then Kansas would be the only team left with fewer than two losses, and it would be out of the theoretical debate since it wouldn’t have even won its own division title, much less its conference championship. Even if one of those things doesn’t happen, then that team is in the national title, while Hawaii, as the only unbeaten team in America, can make a claim that in this wild year, if the college football world isn’t going to acknowledge the unbeaten little guy in the national title picture, then it never will.

The Deserve Factor: On a ten point scale, a 1. Hawaii might finish the year unbeaten, but its schedule strength so far is 117<sup>th</sup> in the nation, meaning it’s dealt with the third easiest slate. That’ll change after playing Nevada and Boise State, but still, that’s not like beating LSU and Virginia Tech.

9. Georgia
Georgia would fall under the late-season hot-team theory. There might have been problems early, but the Dawgs have become unstoppable in recent weeks with tremendous performances against Florida and Auburn hanging a combined 87 points on the two big boys. If Tennessee loses a game and Georgia beats Kentucky and Georgia Tech, it’ll be in the SEC title game against LSU.

What has to happen: The Bulldogs have to beat a No. 1 LSU like a drum, or at least by double-digits. They’d need a ton of help and several upsets, but if they’re the SEC champions, they’ll likely get the benefit of the doubt in the national title discussion over a one-loss Ohio State, a one-loss Arizona State, and a one-loss Kansas.

The Deserve Factor: The one positive about the computers in the BCS equation over the humans is that they take the entire year into account. The early season home loss to South Carolina isn’t pretty now, while the 35-14 thumping at Tennessee is still relatively fresh. Even so, beating Florida, Auburn and LSU would be amazing, and don’t forget about the thumping of Oklahoma State. Kansas is currently living off its win over the Cowboys.
8. Arizona State
It’ll be interesting to see what the spin is like if the Sun Devils beat USC with ease. Oregon has a great win over Michigan to point towards, but it’s been getting the most mileage out of wins over USC and ASU, both coming at home. If the Sun Devils beat the Trojans, and considering they beat Cal, and Oregon didn’t, a case could be made that they deserve the same one-loss benefit of the doubt that the Ducks are currently receiving.

What has to happen: In a bit of a hole, ASU must make a big statement against USC, get LSU and Oregon losses as soon as possible, a West Virginia slip, and hope for the three Big 12 teams need to somehow cancel each other out. There’s a slight chance this could be one of the few one-loss teams at the end of the year.

The Deserve Factor: The final score against Oregon, 35-23, looks worse than the actual game was, but ASU gets a wee bit of a break since it came on the road. However, outside of a possible win over USC, the other big wins just won’t be there. The Pac 10 has started to stink, and ASU will turn out to suffer the most because of it.

7. Ohio State
It was almost like the world was waiting to crush the Buckeyes in the rankings to punish them for playing in the Big Ten. It seems a little odd to be the clear-cut, unquestioned number one, and then after one loss against a good team, get thrown under the bus being ranked seventh. Because the loss was so late in the year, and because Michigan is seen as damaged goods after the loss to Wisconsin, and because the college football world is still holding a grudge for the clunker against Florida, it’ll take a miracle to end up in New Orleans.

What has to happen: Look at the Hawaii scenario and apply it here. Not only do the Buckeyes need everyone else above them to crash and burn, they need Arizona State to lose, and they might even need Tennessee or Florida to win the SEC title.

The Deserve Factor: The Big Ten is better than it’s being given credit for, especially compared to any other conference other than the SEC. Even though the schedule is currently the 31<sup>st</sup> toughest in the nation, there isn’t a signature win. Beating Penn State and Wisconsin, and possibly Michigan, are fine, but those wins don’t carry much national weight. The non-conference wins (Youngstown State, Akron, Washington and Kent State) are a joke.

6. West Virginia
Totally hosed because the Big East has turned into the Big East again, at least perception-wise, the Mountaineers are getting unfairly pushed aside in the national title talk. It’s about style-points right now, and needing a last-minute dash from Pat White to beat a lousy Louisville team doesn’t count. If they want to get into the picture, they have to wake up the voters immediately by hanging up some huge numbers on Cincinnati, Connecticut and Pitt.

What has to happen: Even though the train has left the building when it comes to Big East respect, the Mountaineers are in a better position than it might appear. Out of the five teams ranked higher, two are certain to lose again between Kansas, Missouri and Oklahoma, so moving up to the four-slot shouldn’t be an issue. Forget about beating LSU, Oregon, or one of the Big 12ers with one loss in a national title debate. WVU must get more losses out of the top teams to have any shot.

The Deserve Factor: The strength of schedule, currently 56th, is nothing special, but not enough credit is being given to a nice, dominant road win over Maryland, and a blowout over a Mississippi State team that’s giving the SEC a world of trouble. The South Florida loss came on the road in an all-timer of an atmosphere, and with White missing a good portion of the game hurt. However, the No. 4 ranked defense is overrated. It faced one team with an offensive pulse, Louisville, and had problems.

5. Missouri
Missouri is like Kansas but with an actual good win to point to, beating Illinois 40-34 in the season opener. It’s been a bit of a wait-and-see attitude for the Tigers, with nice wins over Texas Tech, Colorado and Texas A&M, but there hasn’t been the signature splashy victory to get everyone excited. A win over Kansas would certainly be one.

What has to happen: Kansas has to destroy Iowa State to come into the showdown in Kansas City sky high. Oklahoma has to be impressive against Oklahoma State and Texas Tech to be built up more for the Big 12 championship. If Missouri can get by Kansas State and then beat the Jayhawks and Sooners, two BCS top four teams, then the résumé would be enough to get a good debate going with the Ducks. If LSU or Oregon loses, and the Tigers are 12-1 with a Big 12 title, they’re in.

The Deserve Factor: Beating Kansas State and going on to win the Big 12 championship, combined with the win over Illinois, would be more impressive than what Oregon has done, considering none of the big wins will have been in Columbia. However, it’ll realistically take an impressive showing against the Jayhawks or Sooners to get the voters to push them ahead of Oregon in the final rankings.

4. Oklahoma
When will the other shoe drop? College football fans have long memories, and the last time the Sooners got the benefit of the doubt, they were obliterated by USC in the 2004 national championship. This is still the program that lost to Boise State in the Fiesta Bowl, and lost the last two times they played for the national championship. That should have no bearing whatsoever on this year and the 2007 Sooners, but subconsciously, it has to.

What has to happen: Step one is to win the Big 12 title. Considered the league’s most talented team, it would be a big plus if it flexed a little muscle in the championship victory, and it would be a huge help if the North opponent comes in on a huge roll. It might sound strange, but Kansas or Missouri could leapfrog Oregon by winning out, considering that one of the wins would come against a more respected Oklahoma. The Sooners will need an Oregon or LSU loss to get in.

The Deserve Factor: It would help a bit if Kansas was the North champion since the Sooners already beat Missouri. The blowout win over Miami is absolutely no big deal anymore, so the big wins have been over Texas and Missouri. Throw in a Big 12 championship, and OU has three nice pieces to play with, but it won’t be enough to get into the top two without a loss up top.

3. Kansas
As the only unbeaten team from a BCS conference, KU is being given a certain measure of respect, but there's still work to be done when the best win is over Oklahoma State. The schedule is currently ranked 72nd in the nation, but the big boys are coming up with a chance to make two big statements late in the game. For good or bad, it’s almost all about what happens at the end.

What has to happen: Win out and they’re in. The Jayhawks have a shot at beating two top five BCS teams in the final weeks of the season, if they beat Missouri to get to Oklahoma in the first place. In this wild and wacky year, if they’re 13-0 and the only BCS conference team, and maybe the only team, without a blemish, then there’s no way it’ll be kept out of New Orleans.

The Deserve Factor: Let the debate begin. If you think the unbeaten factor is a big deal, then you’ll think KU deserves a top two spot. If you’re skeptical because the schedule wasn’t that great, then you’re probably in the Oregon camp. Would wins over Missouri and Oklahoma on neutral sites be enough to overcome the Ducks’ wins over Michigan, USC and Arizona State? Again, it would make for some lively arguments.

2. Oregon
The Ducks have the attention of the nation and have been solid when the lights have been on, and now it might be up to style points. Forget about LSU. Despite what the talking heads might have you believe, this won’t be a Ducks-Tigers showdown for a BCS spot. LSU is in if it wins out. The question will be Oregon vs. the Big 12 champion, but since it’s already in the number two spot, it’ll take a crowbar to get some voters to make a change if things go to form.

What has to happen: Kansas has to lose. Oregon probably has enough ammo to beat Oklahoma or Missouri in a debate, but it probably doesn’t have a leg to stand on against Kansas. If LSU loses, then there’s no question or concern; an 11-1 Oregon would play for the national title.

The Deserve Factor: Only LSU will have a better résumé if the Ducks win out, but the Big 12 champion will scream and yell about a home loss to a Cal team that turned out to be ridiculously overrated. With the 15<sup>th</sup> toughest schedule in the country at the moment, a blowout win over Michigan, and wins over USC and Arizona State, it’ll take something big to push them out of the top two.

1. LSU
Don’t believe what anyone else is telling you. If LSU wins out, it’s in the national title game. Period. End of story. Go take a steam. If the Tigers beat Arkansas and end up winning the SEC title, there’s no way, no how that they’ll fall out of the top spot. If by some miracle they do, like if Kansas beats Missouri by 40 and Oklahoma by 50, they’re not going to fall further than two.
What has to happen: Beat Ole Miss. Beat Arkansas. Beat the SEC East champion. Get on the bus and go down the road about 80 miles in the first week of January. Style points won’t even matter. There’s no chance of LSU not finishing in the top two if it wins out.

The Deserve Factor: Forget about the 32<sup>nd</sup> ranked strength of schedule. No other team can come close to touching LSU’s résumé if it wins out. If the Tigers go 12-1, that means it’ll have beaten Mississippi State by 45, Virginia Tech by 41, Florida, Auburn, Alabama, Arkansas, and either Tennessee, Georgia or Florida. The loss was in triple overtime on the road at Kentucky; that’s not all that awful.
</td></tr></tbody></table>

RJ Esq · Nov 13, 2007

Sam Keller vs. Tim Tebow

Why would we talk about Sam Keller vs. Joe Ganz at this point. It's irrelevant. Let's talk Keller and Tebow. For all you youngsters, start working on that fade route. Clearly it pays to be a college a quarterback.

Sam Keller's girlfriend is model hot.

Tim Tebow's girlfriend is umm, ummm not so bad herself.

Who wins this Motor Boat battle?

RJ Esq · Nov 14, 2007

Washington's Locker doubtful vs. Cal

Posted: Tuesday November 13, 2007 6:28PM; Updated: Tuesday November 13, 2007 6:28PM

SEATTLE (AP) -- Each time he moved stiffly to address a questioner, Jake Locker's entire body turned. His sore, sprained neck did not.
That revealed more about the chances of Washington's talented redshirt freshman quarterback playing Saturday against California than his words did.
"It's not out of the realm of possibility," Locker said not so convincingly Tuesday, three days after he was immobilized on a stretcher and driven off the field to a hospital during a loss at Oregon State, following a helmet-to-helmet hit.
"I mean, yeah, I'd like to (play). I'm going to try as hard as I can."
But first, reality.
"That was a scary situation for me on Saturday," he said. "I've never had anything like that happen to me before."
He received get-well wishes from people he hadn't heard from in years, if ever. Then he was handed a likeness of him drawn in purple crayon by a UW broadcaster's 4-year-old child, who cried when Locker got hurt. The words "Feel better Jake" were written atop the picture.
Locker still has a neck collar for the muscle strain, but he wasn't wearing it because he jokingly said "it draws too much attention."
The nation's second-leading rusher among quarterbacks with 807 yards in 10 games has to show trainers he can turn his head while being able to leave the rest of his 6-foot-3, 225-pound body behind.
The Huskies (3-7, 1-6 Pac-10) have to consider the prudence of having their dynamic runner and passer -- upon whom the program is relying for the next three seasons -- play Saturday. The game has far less importance than next week's 100th Apple Cup against Washington State, now that Washington is officially out of contention for a bowl game.
Coach Tyrone Willingham's initially said only that Locker would not practice Tuesday afternoon, senior Carl Bonnell would lead the team instead.
"We have to see how he progresses Wednesday," Willingham said of Locker.
"We have been very clear to state that we will not rush him back. It's pretty simple. We'll consider his best interests and the best interests of the team."
Bonnell sounded like he expected to start against the Bears (6-4, 3-4) and then yield to Locker for the Apple Cup.
"Maybe not this week, but next week," Bonnell said of when he expects Locker to play again.
So Locker is likely to miss a football game because of injury for the first time in his life. He said the only time he has missed any game growing up as a two-sport phenom in Ferndale, Wash., was when mononucleosis knocked him from a couple of baseball games.
Locker was scrambling on a third-down play in the second quarter Saturday night, knowing he needed to get about 4 more yards for a first down. He ducked his head just before he was hit by Oregon State safety Al Afalava. Locker stayed down for about 15 minutes and did not appear to move while emergency workers attended to him.
He said he had a pinching sensation in the back of his neck -- later diagnosed as a stinger. What scared him most was that he could not feel his left arm.
But as he was being put on a stretcher, his head immobilized and his parents near his side, the feeling returned to his arm. Medical personnel kept reassuring him that they were merely taking precautions. Willingham said even before Locker was taken by ambulance to Good Samaritan Hospital in Corvallis for tests that came back negative, the team knew Locker was moving his extremities.
"I felt a lot better about it than most people simply because I had the information others didn't," Willingham said. "I knew it was a little more of a precautionary aspect."
Locker returned to the sidelines with 3:18 left in the game, walking slowly and wearing a neck brace as the crowd cheered. Afalava briefly talked to and then hugged Locker on the field immediately after the game.
"He was really pretty cool about it," Locker said.
Asked if perhaps next time he would slide down or go out of bounds to preserve his health, Locker chuckled and said, "I'll be totally honest: Probably not."
Willingham still doesn't agree with the Pac-10's official review of the play Monday that there was "inadvertent" contact.
"It was pretty clear it was helmet-to-helmet contact," which warrants a 15-yard penalty, Willingham said.
Locker agreed with the Pac-10's view.
"We did hit helmet-to-helmet," he said. "But I didn't think he had any intention to take me out. It's football. That kind of stuff happens."

RJ Esq · Nov 14, 2007

Va. Tech's Hall to return vs. Miami

Posted: Tuesday November 13, 2007 5:44PM; Updated: Tuesday November 13, 2007 5:44PM

BLACKSBURG, Va. (AP) -- Vince Hall bounds into the room like he's energized, far more excited than most to be meeting with the media this late in the season.
And why not. Described by Virginia Tech defensive coordinator Bud Foster before this year as the best defensive player he's ever coached, Hall's broken left forearm and wrist have sufficiently healed, and he finally gets play again on Saturday. That it will be Senior Day and the opponent is Miami make it that much more exciting.
So much for thoughts a meaningless game will yield a letdown.
"It's senior day," Hall said Tuesday, scoffing at the possibility the team will be looking ahead to next week's big game at Virginia. "Our last time in Lane Stadium. If they ain't getting up, I'm getting 'em up. I ain't going to let that happen."
The No. 10 Hokies (8-2, 5-1 Atlantic Coast Conference) could lose to Miami and they'd still play for a spot in the ACC championship the following week at Virginia.
Hall is just happy to be back in pads, even if there's much work to do.
"I went up to hit the running back and I missed him," he said of practice Monday. "That's when coach Foster said 'Get the rust out of your cleats,' things like that."
The rust doesn't figure to linger too long. Despite playing the last part of the Clemson game with the broken bones in his arm and wrist, and sitting out four games in a row since, Hall still ranks second on the team in tackles with 61 in six games.
Getting hurt in a year he'd carefully planned for a big finish in football just made him look for other places to wreak havoc, and the online video game community surely celebrates his return to the field after the destruction he's been causing there.
"I like to stay occupied. I don't like too much time on my hands," he said, noting that he is only taking one class. "Football was keeping me occupied and I couldn't play that so it was like, I don't want to say depression mode because of how you think of the other stuff, but I wasn't always happy. Let's just say that."
He eventually found an outlet in online games, one he was always eager to explore after running the stadium steps or watching the Hokies practice.
"Go play some `Halo,' go kill some people on a video game," he said. "It was just frustration. You want to beat someone in a game so they can feel your pain."
After a slow start, Hall said he got pretty good at the game.
"I'm a beast on there," he said.
Watching him not playing football, though, the Hokies already felt Hall's pain.
"I think the Boston College game hurt him more than any, but I talked to him and he's doing the best he can to stay sane about it," left tackle Duane Brown said of the game in which Tech blew a 10-point lead in the final 2:11, losing 14-10 at home.
"I know he's very excited to get back out there. I'm happy for him to be able to come out and play on Senior Day against Miami. That will be a big day for him."
Cam Martin said it will be like having a coach in the huddle again.
"Vince is like one of our vocal leaders," the linebacker said. "When things are down, you can always look to Vince and he always has something to say for you."
Hall may see only limited time against the Hurricanes. Backup Brett Warren played exceptionally well in his absence, and the big game isn't until next Saturday.
Still, Hall intends to take in as much as he can at Lane Stadium on Saturday.
"I feel like I got a little extra edge to my Senior Day because I've been missing," he said. "I feel like I'm off the map right now. Got to let them know I'm still here."

RJ Esq · Nov 14, 2007

The Moral Universe's Theoretically Just Construction of the Kansas Jayhawks
By SMQ
Posted on Tue Nov 13, 2007 at 07:35:54 PM EDT

Or, where KU fits into this mess, and where it doesn’t.
Once the calendar turns to November, the ‘undefeated’ label is like a VIP tag, and the Jayhawks are enjoying flashing their credentials at incredulous bounders at the door to the top of the polls, guys used to waving the likes of Ohio State on past under the same circumstances. But Kansas? Kansas doesn’t belong here. It’s just hanging around, hanging around, being a pest, pushing for that triumphant moment it can be resisted no longer.

Listen to ‘em...you’re a star, kid! What’s the name again?
- - -
If the pollsters at large haven’t yet reached that point, leaving KU fourth across the board, at least a few of their individual members have fully succumbed to the flop sweats of Mangino Fever. Native Kansan Dennis Dodd, for one, instructs readers everywhere to stop resisting the inevitable. Just stop it – it’s so...so...clear!:

Before the moment passes, let's get one thing straight. Kansas is No. 1. Sure, the BCS and polls say something different, but take it from someone who has seen all the contenders. Oregon might be playing the best. LSU probably has the best athletes. Kansas deserves to be at the top.
n the craziest fall since the 2000 election season, being undefeated should speak loudest. Ask W. All these wacky upsets and KU -- that's what we call it here in Kansas -- is the only BCS conference team sporting a bagel, a doughnut.
Zero, as in number of losses.
That counts most in this season when top five mob hits have abounded. As someone who has lived 30 miles from the campus for the past 26 years, I can't believe I'm writing this, but it's true:
The stadium that once was the venue for a Huey Lewis and the News concert (what, you missed Hawkstock '83?) is the home of the No. 1 team in the country....
- - -

Dodd’s article is actually titled “Doubting it is dumb: Kansas is clear No. 1,” confidence so bold and staggeringly unironic it oozes, single-sentence paragraphs intact, into the next cubicle, taking over the keyboard of Sportsline basketball columnist Gary Parrish, who is so stoked by the Jayhawks’ improbable run he leaves his own area of expertise, bites on “Mangino for President” and lays down the challenge – who dares arouse the wrath of the great and powerful Jayhawks with their philistinism?:

There are only two undefeated teams left in Division I-A. That's not surprising, really. But the fact that one of them is Kansas is downright shocking, and it has developed into one of college football's major storylines. Sure, the Jayhawks haven't beaten a lot of great opponents, or even one great opponent, to tell the truth. But they haven't lost to anybody either, and that's something worth celebrating, particularly in this wacky season full of upsets.
See, you can question KU's wins.
But you can't highlight any losses.
- - -

Parrish is right on: you certainly can question Kansas’ wins. Put them next to the BCS frontrunners LSU and Oregon, for example, using Jeff Sagarin’s top 30 and strength of schedule ratings as a shorthand. See:
<table cellpadding="3" cellspacing="3"> <tbody><tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(164, 74, 74) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="center">
</td> <td align="center">LSU</td> <td align="center">Oregon</td> <td align="center">Kansas</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">Oppt. Win % (SOS Rank)</td> <td align="center">.588 (19)</td> <td align="center">.638 (12)</td> <td align="center">.449 (97)</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Avg. Margin of Victory</td> <td align="center">22.6</td> <td align="center">20.8</td> <td align="center">31</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">vs. BCS Opponents</td> <td align="center">6-1</td> <td align="center">6-1</td> <td align="center">6-0</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Avg. MOV vs. BCS</td> <td align="center">15.6</td> <td align="center">19.3</td> <td align="center">19.8</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">vs. Top 30</td> <td align="center">4-1</td> <td align="center">3-1</td> <td align="center">-</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Avg. MOV vs. Top 25</td> <td align="center">10.4</td> <td align="center">11</td> <td align="center">-</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">vs. Top 10</td> <td align="center">-</td> <td align="center">1-0</td> <td align="center">-</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Avg. MOV vs. Top 10</td> <td align="center">-</td> <td align="center">7</td> <td align="center">-</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">Loss</td> <td align="center">-6 vs. JS#17</td> <td align="center">-7 vs. JS#25</td> <td align="center">-</td> </tr> </tbody></table> The dilligent voter is forced to seriously challenge his assumptions here. How many quality wins does it take to offset a close loss to a decent team? How many wins over mediocrities and empty-calorie cupcakes does it take to overcome the lack of a single opponent of consequence? How much does the simple fact of being undefeated really matter in and of itself? Ask the same question with the Jayhawks’ resumé next to their nearest competiton for number three behind the Tigers and Ducks:

<table cellpadding="3" cellspacing="3"> <tbody><tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(164, 74, 74) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="center">
</td> <td align="center">Kansas</td> <td align="center">Oklahoma</td> <td align="center">Missouri</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">Oppt. Win % (SOS Rank)</td> <td align="center">.449 (97)</td> <td align="center">.489 (82)</td> <td align="center">.531 (52)</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Avg. Margin of Victory</td> <td align="center">31.0</td> <td align="center">28.2</td> <td align="center">19.7</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">vs. BCS Opponents</td> <td align="center">6-0</td> <td align="center">6-1</td> <td align="center">7-1</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Avg. MOV vs. BCS</td> <td align="center">19.8</td> <td align="center">17.3</td> <td align="center">21.1</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">vs. Top 30</td> <td align="center">-</td> <td align="center">2-0</td> <td align="center">1-1</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Avg. MOV vs. Top 25</td> <td align="center">-</td> <td align="center">8.5</td> <td align="center">-2</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">vs. Top 10</td> <td align="center">-</td> <td align="center">1-0</td> <td align="center">0-1</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Avg. MOV vs. Top 10</td> <td align="center">-</td> <td align="center">10</td> <td align="center">-4</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">Loss</td> <td align="center">-</td> <td align="center">-3 vs. JS#56</td> <td align="center">-10 vs. JS#4</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(164, 74, 74) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="center">
</td> <td align="center">West Virginia</td> <td align="center">Ohio State</td> <td align="center">Arizona State</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">Oppt. Win % (SOS Rank)</td> <td align="center">.467 (50)</td> <td align="center">.524 (55)</td> <td align="center">.512 (27)</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Avg. Margin of Victory</td> <td align="center">23.7</td> <td align="center">22.3</td> <td align="center">16.2</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">vs. BCS Opponents</td> <td align="center">5-1</td> <td align="center">7-1</td> <td align="center">7-1</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Avg. MOV vs. BCS</td> <td align="center">18.3</td> <td align="center">21.4</td> <td align="center">14.1</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">vs. Top 30</td> <td align="center">0-1</td> <td align="center">2-1</td> <td align="center">1-1</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Avg. MOV vs. Top 25</td> <td align="center">-8</td> <td align="center">11.3</td> <td align="center">-0.5</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">vs. Top 10</td> <td align="center">-</td> <td align="center">-</td> <td align="center">0-1</td> </tr> <tr></tr><tr style="background: rgb(234, 234, 234) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"> <td align="right">Avg. MOV vs. Top 10</td> <td align="center">-</td> <td align="center">-</td> <td align="center">-12</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right">Loss</td> <td align="center">-8 vs. JS#15</td> <td align="center">-7 vs. JS#20</td> <td align="center">-12 vs. JS#3</td> </tr> </tbody></table> How far can a team’s claim as “the best” go when said team hasn’t played anything approximating the best opponents? It should be pointed out that Kansas’ schedule is not Hawaii’s, which is unambiguously the weakest in Division I-A – unlike the Warriors, Kansas has won its way into the discussion with respectable wins over Big 12 middle-dwellers Colorado, Kansas State, Nebraska, Oklahoma State and Texas A&M, all of them (with the exception of A&M) winners of at least one game of consequence their own selves. And the Jayhawks will have their day, against Missouri in two weeks, and if they pass that test, the Big 12 Championship the week after that. Once it gets that kind of value on its wall, KU has itself an argument.
But, certainty of a few proud neighbors notwithstanding, not yet. I don’t know where Kansas will fall on my BlogPoll ballot Wednesday – part of this exercise is to parse the merits of all of these teams – but it will not be one or two.

RJ Esq · Nov 14, 2007

Jab from the guys at tOSU:

The Michigan Marching Band vs. The Muppet Band. Who plays "Temptation" better?

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/oYd0UF5Se8I&rel=1&border=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/oYd0UF5Se8I&rel=1&border=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

JPicks · Nov 14, 2007

This thread is wildly entertaining every week.

Timh · Nov 14, 2007

Hang in there RJ, tough year for a lot of people. Sometimes the best thing is to step away and refresh.

RJ Esq · Nov 14, 2007

Thanks, Jpicks. Rode your Utah team to 1 of my 2 wins last week.

Thanks, Timh. Rode your Terps to 1 of my 4 losses last week.

Just bustin your balls. I'm following your advice Timh, and I've taken off the week until today and am going about finally looking at the lines for this week. I might just limit my picks but I'll probably play a little bit over the next 3 weeks and then hit the early December bowls.

RJ Esq · Nov 14, 2007

Things Are Unraveling Fast at UCLA

Posted Nov 14th 2007 6:06PM by Brian Grummell
Filed under: UCLA Football, Pac 10, The Word

It's a better than 50/50 proposition that UCLA kicks head coach Karl Dorrell to the curb after this season. The Bruins returned a wealth of experience which tends to bode well on the field.

Instead, it's been an up and down season plagued by injuries and strange defeats. I speak of you, 44-6 loss to Utah and last weekend's shoulda-coulda-didn't 24-20 loss to Arizona State.

No matter what happens on the field, one of those fundamental issues for coaches is having guys playing for each other. That's not happening right now if you are to go by classic "throwing your teammates under the bus" moments like the following:

"He has to come out and make a play, and he didn't make a play," [receiver Brandon] Breazell said. "I needed my man to make a play for me, and I put it right in his hands, and you see the results.

"We've been practicing that play all week and he said, 'I got your back, I got your back' and game time comes and ... it's all good."

Uhhh, no, it's not all good. You just left a teammate hanging in public. Breazell is referring to a trick play thrown to a wide-open teammate that probably should have been an easy touchdown if caught. His teammate clearly let him down on the field. But he let all his teammates and coaches down off it by going public like that.

Hilariously, Breazell was called a "class act" in a headline story by the school's student newspaper The Daily Bruin a little more than a month ago. Oops. I'm sure he is, and that this was just a mistake made by frustration bubbling to the surface. However, it's also indicative of a coach who might not have his guys fully trusting of each other right now.

RJ Esq · Nov 14, 2007

Kentucky RB questionable vs. Georgia

Posted: Wednesday November 14, 2007 3:58PM; Updated: Wednesday November 14, 2007 3:58PM

LEXINGTON, Ky. (AP) -- Kentucky running back Rafael Little is questionable for Saturday's game at No. 8 Georgia after injuring his back in last week's win over Vanderbilt, coach Rich Brooks said Wednesday.
Little missed three games with a thigh injury before returning to run for 70 yards against the Commodores but carried just once in the second half after sustaining the injury. He did not practice on Wednesday.
"We hope it will settle down and the soreness and pain will go away so he can participate," Brooks said.
Brooks said the team's medical staff is unsure of the extent of the injury. Little will undergo various treatments in hopes of being able to play.
"They're putting stem on him; they're giving him massage; they're doing heat, cold, everything," Brooks said. "It could be bruise, or it could be a pull. We're not totally sure. Whatever it is, it's painful."

RJ Esq · Nov 14, 2007

GREG ROBINSON CAN COACH, JUST ASK GREG ROBINSON

Turn off the snark meter for an instant. Difficult, we know, but we swear there’s a switch for this. Off? Excellent.
Now critically evaluate the following statement made by Greg Robinson, football coach for Syracuse. Give points for empirical support and evidence presented. Ready, scientists? Empiricize!

I’m good. Just ask me.
“I think my record can show that I’m a good football coach,” the 7-26 Robinson said three days after falling to South Florida, 41-10. “Do I make every decision that’s perfect? I can’t tell you that. No. I believe that if we continue to recruit and continue to get good players, then we’re going to be a good football team.”
Greg Robinson is 7-26 thus far. His best record at Syracuse was 4-8 in 2006. The average margin of loss for the Orangemen has gone from 17.4 points in 05 to 23.5 points in each loss for 2007, and that’s with games against Cincinnati and Connecticut to come. His classes have averaged around 53rd in Rivals’ class rankings. He’s 2-8 thus far.
By the numbers, this does not support a statement of being a good coach, making this an inaccurate statement at best. He did, according to the report, pound the lectern 24 times in a span of 45 seconds, an average of 1.88 seconds between thumps. This is ample evidence that for all his flaws as a self-evaluator of his own coaching record, he could make a passable drummer.

RJ Esq · Nov 14, 2007

UVA/Miami: It Was That Bad

Posted Nov 14th 2007 1:59PM by Ian Cohen
Filed under: Miami Football, Virginia Football, ACC, BCS

You know, I've struggled all weekend to find the right sort of equivalent for what UVA did to Miami...yeah, this should do it.

Some people would argue that Virginia could end up being the Wake Forest of 2007, not so much because they've been a lifetime underdog that finally got their day, but in the way they've gone from a losing record to the precipice of the BCS due to solid defense and, let's be honest, a bit of luck. Well, last year, Wake had their "F what you know" win against Florida State, beating them 30-0 at home, and now, Virginia's got one to call its own.

If you didn't watch this, I wouldn't blame you, but if that's the case, it might be the most listless performance I've seen in years, and trust me, I took in the entirety of Virginia's opener against Wyoming. It's not so much that Miami got so badly outplayed and outcoached (really!), it's that, as the party noted, they looked like they didn't care. Which was, like, the completely opposite effect that all the festivities surrounding the closing of the Orange Bowl was supposed to have.
It's too early to say that Randy Shannon has lost this team (even if they aren't his recruits, he is a holdover from the Coker regime), but it's pretty much impossible to fail on more levels than the Canes did.

- Offense: When you're following up a guy who completed one pass in the entirety of last start, all you have to do is...well, not play like Kyle Wright. I'll give him some slack; he was basically on one leg, and he got absolutely no help at all from his receivers, who directly caused two of his three interceptions and added several more drops and overall soft play. The running game never got going either, as UVA's 3-4 dominated the line of scrimmage.

- Defense: Let's keep in mind that Chris Gould missed a chip-shot and UVA squandered two interceptions within the Miami 40 in the first quarter alone. One could argue they left at least ten extra points on the field. Still, the 48 points Virginia tallied could be attributed to good field position, (mostly) mistake-free play from Jameel Sewell and a palpable sense of indifference from the Miami defense. You read that correctly; ESPN commenters made a post-game remark about how the Grohs have developed a gameplan that allows Sewell to work within his capabilities. From the looks of things, they ran a total of three different plays. Sewell still doesn't have much of a feel for the long ball; the one time he tried to go yard, it was an interception basically thrown into triple coverage. Instead, he found TE's like John Phillips and John Stupar on rollouts and play-action out passes, after which they'd rumble for large chunks of YAC.

- Special teams: B-b-b-b-but wait, it gets worse! Josh Zidenberg blocked a punt after being damn near untouched, but the most emblematic of Miami's problems happened on a kickoff where Ryan Moore had the option to let the ball harmlessly bounce out of bounds. Instead, he picked it up while teetering over the sidelines and ended up slamming Wright and company on the three.

That's just the Cliffs Notes version of it, but most importantly, it leaves this situation: should Virginia beat VT at home in two weeks (something they haven't done since 2003), they'll be in Jacksonville against the winner of BC/Clemson. Miami, now at 5-5, has road contests against BC and VT. So yeah, maybe Shannon needs to do more than remove the names from the jerseys.

RJ Esq · Nov 14, 2007

Will Wake Miss Out On Bowl Season?

Posted Nov 14th 2007 12:22PM by Ian Cohen
Filed under: ACC, BCS, Wake Forest Football

Remember two weeks ago? At that point, the biggest surprise in the ACC was the continued success of Wake Forest, as they racked up a six-game win streak that was almost certain to continue against the overrated and vulnerable Virginia Cavaliers. Except Jim Grobe's stultifying playcalling didn't allow the Demon Deacons to take advantage of UVA's relatively weak secondary and rather than trying to gain field position during the final drive, he let the admittedly money Sam Swank boot one from 47 yards out.

I guess we can stop with the "dark horse for Jacksonville" talk after a 44-10 horsewhipping at the hands of Clemson was almost enough to make you forget the Grobe Era ever existed (granted, the last time they lost this bad was in 2004, but still...). As a matter of fact, there's worries in the Wake camp that they could miss out on bowl season altogether. Of the ACC's 12 teams, 10 are currently fighting for a possible postseason bid (only Duke and UNC have been mathematically eliminated). Wake sits at 6-4 with two games remaining, and neither is a walk. NC State, themselves fighting for one of the eight allotted bowl slots, are now 5-5 and riding a 4-game win streak. Meanwhile, Vanderbilt is one win away from their first bowl since 1984 and playing at home.

In spite of the glut of bowl affiliations for the ACC, Wake probably get their stuff together if they're hoping to get out of Winston-Salem in December. All post-Orange Bowl glow aside, a 6-6 Wake Forest team will a: be coming off a 4-game losing streak and b: still be a school with one of the smallest alumni fanbases in DI-A. Then again, NC State and Vanderbilt...bowl teams can at least split this pair.

RJ Esq · Nov 14, 2007

BLOGTOBERFEST: JAKE LOCKER EATS PAIN EDITION

The finest of the finest of the finest of the Blogosphere, all just waiting for your otherwise productive eyes. Your company’s future=ska-roooed.
Washington qb and Tim Tebow double Jake Locker will not go out of bounds even though he suffered a hellacious hit along the sidelines that knocked him out of the game. Hey, it worked for Dave Ragone, and if that isn’t a ringing endorsement of something, we don’t know what is.
Deuce of Davenport makes a bit of time for the Cal band doing video game theme music. Name them all and we will get a live girl to sleep with you! Ha! Because video game guys never get laid! Get it!

<object height="355" width="425">

<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8QNI3W8UB-s&rel=1&border=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></object></p> Black Heart, Gold Pants has a maturity test for you. We failed miserably.
As usual, an economist points out just how stupid and irrational you are. Ohio State economist Trevon Logan studies how voters vote in the AP poll, and comes to the following conclusions in a new paper. His conclusions:
Contrary to conventional wisdom, I find that (1) it is better to lose later in the season than earlier, (2) AP voters do not pay attention to the strength of a defeated opponent, and (3) the benefit of winning by a large margin is negligible. I conclude by noting how these results inform debates about a potential playoff in college football.
Meaning the “once you’re good, it’s hard to convince people you’re un-good” theory of AP voting is likely true. Another interesting question is what we’ll call the “Kansas Question:” how long must a team win out before polls designate them as being legitimate contenders?
Chad Henne joins Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson as openly enthusiastic public Soulja Boys. Life before Flash animation was a dark, sad place.
Nebraska’s rage knows no depths. This is proof.

RJ Esq · Nov 14, 2007

Recruits critical of UM

By BARRY JACKSON
Several football players being recruited heavily by UM sharply criticized Canes players this week. And the Canes don't want to hear it.On Tuesday, UM players reacted angrily to comments by Seffner Armwood High offensive tackle Matt Patchan, whose father played for UM. But UM oral commitment Marcus Forston of Miami Northwestern and UM target Brandon Harris of Miami Booker T. Washington said in phone interviews that Patchan's comments were dead-on.
Patchan, who attended UM's 48-0 loss to Virginia, told canesport.com that 'there's too many guys that it doesn't bother them that they lost the game. There's too many guys now at the U that [say], `It's OK we lost. Well, what am I going to do tonight?' Like it doesn't mean anything. They need to get rid of those types of guys.''
UM players reacted angrily. ''That insults me a lot,'' tight end Dedrick Epps said. ``It's a false statement. Why would we come to the University of Miami to lose? I didn't hear anybody say what we're going to do tonight. We were hurt.''
Said offensive tackle Jason Fox: ``When someone that's not around your program every day makes judgments about you, it doesn't sit well . . . You take offense. It's unfair.''
Said linebacker Colin McCarthy: ''He doesn't know how we feel. We were all hurt in the locker room. Some may deal with it differently.'' And safety Randy Phillips cracked, ``Evidently, he knows something I don't know from being around here one or two days.''
Coach Randy Shannon, who obviously wants Patchan, said, ``Everyone is entitled to their opinion.''
Forston, a top-rated defensive tackle who attended Saturday's Canes game, said he remains a strong UM commitment, but agrees with Patchan. ''Some guys are not giving full effort,'' Forston said. ``It surprised me. A couple [UM] guys were smiling. I didn't see too much cheering teammates on the sideline. I'm not used to that type of environment.''
Harris, a highly regarded cornerback, was at the OB on Saturday and said Patchan's comments ``are true. Some guys care. Some guys don't. You can sense it. Some are just coasting.''
Harris -- considering UM, Florida and Louisiana State, among others -- said Saturday's UM drubbing ''if anything, would have a positive impact'' on him.
``It lets you know they need players. It's a bad situation.''
UM's Phillips conceded, ``Some guys may not care. I haven't seen it, but evidently it's showing up on the field.''
Patchan, who also told canesport.com that ''half those guys in Miami uniforms shouldn't be there -- they physically don't cut it,'' still is ''absolutely'' considering UM (along with UF and LSU), his father, Matt Sr., said by phone. ``His comments were borne of frustration and his lifelong connection to the team. He's a very passionate kid.''
• UM freshman defensive back Doug Wiggins (torn hamstring) remains away from the team and won't decide whether to transfer until he meets with Shannon after the season, said Jeff Bertani, his coach at North Miami Beach. Wiggins -- who had a physical confrontation with injured safety Anthony Reddick earlier this season -- wants more playing time, but Bertani said there's a bigger source of ''friction'' he wouldn't identify.
CHATTER
• One of Dolphins owner Wayne Huizenga's officials scoffed at the team's self-analysis, saying if Huizenga was serious about making changes, he would hire an outside consultant to do the study and suggest solutions. (The Dolphins say they're instead using current employees to do the evaluation.)
• Not only are the Dolphins 0-9, but the Bears (with a decent finish) are positioned to end Miami's multidecade run of highest winning percentage in NFL history. And Don Shula isn't happy about it. ''I took a lot of pride in that,'' he said. ``This [losing] is pulling that down. . . . It's hard to imagine the Dolphins being the butt of a joke.''
• Among those eager to see the Dolphins' John Beck is another former Brigham Young quarterback, ESPN's Steve Young: ``Stylistically, [Beck] is a lot like Tom Brady in his accuracy and [delivery], and also nifty in the pocket.''
• One general manager who spoke to the Marlins said they indicated they would consider trading Dontrelle Willis, but now want to concentrate on dealing Miguel Cabrera.
That GM said the Marlins realize Willis' value has dropped and might wait until next season to move him.
The GM also predicted Cabrera would end up with the Angels or Dodgers. A Marlins official said it's hard to imagine the team not trading either Cabrera or Willis, with Cabrera the clear preference.
• With Smush Parker's point guard play disappointing the Heat ( Pat Riley believes he's better at shooting guard), people inside the team are wondering if he will be traded when he becomes eligible Dec. 15.
Even at shooting guard, Parker (shooting 30 percent entering Tuesday) has limitations, with one NBA personnel director noting that even though he can shoot from long range and finish at the rim, he's hurt by his lack of an ''in-between game,'' which Parker admits.
The Heat tracks plus/minus ratios, and although it's a small sample size, consider: Per every 48 minutes, Miami entered Tuesday's game outscoring teams by 1.5 points with Parker on the bench, but it is being outscored by 16 with him in the game.

RJ Esq · Nov 14, 2007

S.C.'s Munnerlyn likely out for season

Posted: Wednesday November 14, 2007 1:05AM; Updated: Wednesday November 14, 2007 1:05AM

COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) -- South Carolina cornerback Captain Munnerlyn appears to be out for the season with a foot injury, coach Steve Spurrier said.
Munnerlyn sprained his left foot two weeks ago against Arkansas. He was in on just one play against Florida last Saturday.
The sophomore started every game before he was injured. Munnerlyn has 47 tackles and leads the team with three interceptions.
Munnerlyn is the third defense starter the Gamecocks have lost this season. Star linebacker Jasper Brinkley tore a ligament in his right knee against LSU and lineman Nathan Pepper hurt his left knee returning an interception for a touchdown against South Carolina State.

Timh · Nov 14, 2007

RJ Esq said:
Thanks, Jpicks. Rode your Utah team to 1 of my 2 wins last week.

Thanks, Timh. Rode your Terps to 1 of my 4 losses last week.

Just bustin your balls. I'm following your advice Timh, and I've taken off the week until today and am going about finally looking at the lines for this week. I might just limit my picks but I'll probably play a little bit over the next 3 weeks and then hit the early December bowls.

RJ - Sorry about that and I've got to tell you that I was at the game and it just really surprised me how well MD played. The most amazing thing was that their OL was able to give Turner as much protection as they did. I never saw that coming. The other big thing was that Fridge opened up the playcalling and let it roll as they had nothing to lose. Lot more 1st down passing calls, which really made a difference. Shocking how bad BC's secondary was. They played really soft all night, and were really afraid to come up and play MD's receivers. Terps had at least three pass plays of 50 plus yards in the game. Turner was razor sharp 21/26 for like 350 yards and when blitzed always went to the right place with the ball. MD actually outplayed BC on both sides of the ball on the LOS. I took a bath on the game and was dead wrong in my assessment. Also think BC was a little flat, as I have seen them play much more physical than they did in this game. Their lack of running game and their inability to keep trying to run really hurt them. MD secondary did a great job taking away a lot of things from Ryan, and put good pressure on him all night. What can I say, I'd make the same play again. Got it at 5.5 and line ended up moving to 7. MD continues to fight hard and have shown a tremendous resolve through what should have been a lot better season. Now if they can go to FSU and win I'll really believe lol...FSU better get some pressure on Turner because this kid really can throw when given time. Amazes me that Steffy ever won the starting job, don't know what Ralph was looking at.

RJ Esq · Nov 14, 2007

No worries, Timh. It caught us all by surprise. Like I said, just bustin your balls.

Timh · Nov 14, 2007

I know you were RJ, I just needed some cathartic relief on that game...and thought I would share it with you. Thought I was going to make a good comeback on Sunday. Had GB rather large and a ML parlay with GB and Tenn that would have gotten me right, but Tenny shit the bed vs. Jax.

How about Navy this week? They appear to be unstoppable on offense. I am still kicking myself for not playing over in that NT game last week.

RJ Esq · Nov 14, 2007

VT's Weekend Was More Interesting Than First Reported

Posted Nov 14th 2007 8:27PM by Ian Cohen
Filed under: Virginia Tech Football, ACC, BCS, NCAA FB Police Blotter

Look, I realize that the 24-hour news cycle that we've relegated ourselves to can turn what used to be catastrophic events into pop culture milemarkers that grow ever more distant in our rearview. So with that said, what happened (supposedly- more on that later) at VT cornerback Macho Harris' place should be a sobering reminder.

Reports indicate that after the altercation that involved teammate Steven Friday, shots were fired at Harris' on-campus apartment. Fortunately, it appears that Harris wasn't injured and he'll be ready to go as the Old Dominion looks to continue its campaign of doom against the Miami Hurricanes.

As I mentioned before, the whole thing gets a "supposedly" flag, since the police are still investigating the situation and Frank Beamer is accused of violating protocol by raising the "possibility" that it was, in fact, Harris' apartment. If that's indeed true, what the police found is genuinely frightening, as there was evidence of 9mm shells and a shotgun blast. Police are resisting the temptation to put two and two together and link a 100-man brawl supposedly involving a Hokie footballer and gunfire two hours later that supposedly involved a Hokie football in a sleepy college town in southwest Virginia, but if they come up with four, we'll keep you posted.

RJ Esq · Nov 15, 2007

DEGENERATES: GET WELL

Mistakes were made. Maybe you lost some cash, or the use of your left leg, or the privilege of your girlfriend’s vagina, but hey, that’s why they call it gambling. Now quit your crying and hobble over here; we’re getting right back in the game. As any good degenerate knows, it’s only when you’re down that you get a taste of the life. They also know that when you’re down you bet more money, on more games, in order to get well. It’s like makeup sex, only better, because it lasts all weekend and you can do it with other dudes. You have my personal guarantee that these picks are (probably) impregnable.

Oregon @ Arizona (+ 12)
I can feel the lack of trust. It’s OK. This is why I’m going to get you back on your feet right now and make this as simple as possible. Arizona is terrible and their coach is Mike Stoops. Oregon is good, really good. Their coach is… well forget that. Oregon isn’t looking past the Cats this year either, since last year Arizona handed them their only loss of the season at Autzen in a humiliating 37-10 drubbing (Oregon was a 2 TD favorite). That’s not going to happen again. Oregon’s playing for a shot at a National Championship and Dennis Dixon is playing for a shot at the Heisman. Arizona is playing for the chance to save Mike Stoops’ job. I’m sure they can’t wait to play for that asshole for another year. This is your classic prison rape (ow!) game. Arizona will put up a fight early, realize it’s useless, and by the second half, they’ll be following the Ducks around holding onto their pocket like a good little punk. Nothing makes a Friday at the office/prison yard/massage parlor better than knowing you’re already up, so wash the taste of failure out of your mouth and put $100 on Oregon.

West Virginia @ Cincinnati (+ 6.5)
The Mountaineers are coming to town and they’re bringing Steve Slaton, the nation’s #3 rushing attack, and a shitload of gasoline with ‘em. They’ve outscored the Bearcats 80-24 over the last 2 seasons and their dominance will continue here. Slaton has rolled for 277 yards and six TD’s over those 2 games. I’m sure you saw West Virginia’s terrifying extended fumbling drills last week in the second half against Louisville, but have no fear, it was only a test. Sit back, relax, watch WFV dominate Cincinnati and be thankful your couch is spared.

Missouri @ Kansas State (+7)
Yes, please. Here’s what you have to realize with Kansas State: Bill Snyder isn’t walking through that door. Michael Bishop isn’t walking through that door. Darren Sproles isn’t walking through that door. Josh Freeman is, and he’s fat. I think I’d be remiss if I didn’t also point out that Bill Callahan & Co. dropped 73 on the Wildcats last week. This is not what you want to hear when Missouri’s on their way to town. The Tigers have scored 38 or more in all 9 of their wins. They also have the best QB in the Big 12 (sorry Kansas guy). This is one of those point spreads that makes my pants feel funny. I thought the line would be closer to 14. Don’t let the mascot fool you, the Tigers are tough this year. Take the Tigers to roll.

Oklahoma @ Texas Tech (+8)
I think the Dread Pirate Leach has been at sea too long. Being eccentric only gets you so far, eventually, you have to produce results. 8 wins a year is nice, but not enough for a guy like Leach. He’s ultimately failing here, he knows it, and he’s got one foot out the door. Oklahoma is just nasty enough to send you on your way with a dime store boot up your ass. You want numbers? Oklahoma is 5-1 against the spread in their last 6 against the Raiders. Did you know that Oklahoma scores 45 pts per game compared to the Double T’s 42.5? You don’t have to, that’s what I’m here for. I’m still not ready to buy heavily into the Sooners, but I am ready to sell everything I have in Texas Tech. Good luck at your next port, Cap.
Take Oklahoma to sail (sorry) past the Red Raiders.

Kentucky @ Georgia(-7.5)
Mark Richt’s been born again (how many times is this now?); this time as a decisive master villain with a taste for poor sportsmanship and a penchant for shooting jaywalkers. And I like it. Remember when Kentucky was the belle of the ball? Well now they’re the town pump, everyone’s taking a turn on them. Black Hat Richt is in line and he’s about to get freaky. Kentucky hasn’t won in Athens in 30 years. Knowshown Moreno has been averaging 160 yards and 2 TD’s per game over the last 4. His dominance on the ground has taken the pressure off of Matthew Stafford. Stafford isn’t the guy, but he is the kind of QB who can lead you to 10 wins and a New Year’s Day game. Put a week’s pay on Georgia.
[Rich Brooks thinks this pick is bullshit.–ed.]

Duke @ Notre Dame (-6)
This game is too corrosive for the college kids playing with their lunch money. This one’s for the hard core, nothing to lose, basement dwelling, dirtbag, degenerate army. This isn’t a pillow fight or a cripple fight. This game is like Helen Keller necromancing a corpse. And not the hot kind in their Sunday best with a carefully reconstructed face. No, Notre Dame is the bloated floater, coated in canal glaze and smelling of regret. There’s nothing romantic about it, this isn’t sexy time. Duke has a low self-esteem brought on by significant losses and they’ve turned to a cold body buddy only because of their desire for an unresisiting and unrejecting partner. They came to the right place. Charlie Chorizo has led the Irish into unchartered territory. Every 3 & out, every turnover, and every loss sets a new school record. This guy is a master at getting the least out of his players and the most out of his opponents. Take whatever Charlie Fried Chicken spends in a week on fast food and bet it on Duke with confidence.

RJ Esq · Nov 15, 2007

THAT’S “OZZERELLA PIZZA” FOR YOU, tOSU FAN

Pizza chain Donatos is sponsoring a “No M” week in the leadup to the Ohio State/Michigan game. Customers are being asked to order without using Ms in their ordering, meaning loads of fun when the recently arrived refugee/asylee/immigrant taking your order has to ask you four times what the hell you’re saying because you needlessly drag an innocent letter into your hate-filled interstate rivalry with another football team. M never did anything to you but be M, assholes!

<object height="355" width="425">

<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_P1xFPWaWX4&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></object></p> Given college students’ devotion to cheap, high-energy food like factory-made pizza, the promo makes sense, even if you really do get an air-horn in the face for using the letter M. (Perhaps this is just standard practice at Donatos: random air-horning of customers.) If it truly has caught on as much as promoters hoped, then Michigan fans can look forward to being called “otherfuckers” this weekend for a delightful change of pace from the usual.

RJ Esq · Nov 15, 2007

MAKE NOISE! Make noise Saturday like never before!

There has been so much to post this week, I haven't had time to get on my soapbox about Michigan fans giving our team - and Lloyd Carr if this is truly his last game in A2 - a home field advantage in The Big House this weekend.

But goddamnit, do it!

We've received numerous emails about a stadium-wide student-organized Maize Out Saturday. While I have to say a) I hate the term "Maize Out" since it makes no sense (as opposed to Penn State's "White Out" or Iowa's "Black Out and b) nobody over the age of 10 owns any yellow outer-wear, please do your best to comply. But most of all...

MAKE SOME FUCKING NOISE! Shove the keys up the ass of the person next to you if they pull them out!

Too harsh? Blow me. It's Michigan-Ohio State. Don't like it? Stay home. I don't want you there. Want to bitch in the comments section? Suck it. Start your own fucking blog and give a different opinion. I'll say it again: IT'S MICHIGAN-OHIO STATE!

And being loud doesn't mean being a dick, it simply means cheering your ass off. Treat our Ohio State visitors with respect inside and outside the stadium. I urge anybody who sees any ass behavior by our fans to call them on it. I will. But for the love of Schembechler, during the game, let them hear you, not your fucking house keys! And not just on 3rd and short in the 4th quarter. ALL DAMN GAME!

There is also a pep rally in the Diag scheduled for 6:30 Friday. Be there. Take pictures and...

GO BLUE!

CFB Week 12 (11/13-17) News and Picks

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

President of Fondy Fanclub

Montezuma Mesa Survivor

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Pretty much a regular

CTG Psychiatrist - Dr. Tim

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

CTG Psychiatrist - Dr. Tim

Prick Since 1974

CTG Psychiatrist - Dr. Tim

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Prick Since 1974

Similar threads