5 Fundamental Forces of OU

SHSUHorn

Thief
Classic post from a couple of years ago from TPE on hornfans.

ladies and gentlemen, for those of you who have studied physics at some time in your lives, perhaps you recall the five fundamental forces. if not, this should serve as an important review of the subject

"why is this important to me?" you might ask. "i dont have any need for physics. im a (insert name of a job or lack thereof that does not require physics knowledge here)"

well, this upcoming weekend, this particular knowledge should be of paramount concern in all our lives. we are playing the university of oklahoma in football in the red river shootout, and we will need all the forces we can muster in order to overcome the forces of ou.

but back to the topic at hand, allow me to review the five fundamental forces. and yes, there are five of them

1. strong force
description: the force that holds the nucleus of atoms together
relative strength: 1
range: 10^-15 m

2. electromagnetic force
description: attraction/repulsion of charges
relative strength: 1/137
range: infinite

3. weak force
description: neutrino interaction... induces beta decay in atoms
relative strength: 10^-5
range: 10^-17 m

4. gravity
description: the attraction between two bodies
relative strength: 6x10^-39
range: infinite

5. ou sucks
description: ou sucks
relative strength: infinite
range: infinite

there is no escape from the ou sucks force. you can feel it in the fucking andromeda galaxy, on planet x and shit even long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, luke skywalker and his buddies could feel it. why do you think everyone on the dark side has an ou-colored light saber? we are going to feel it in dallas on saturday

on earth, there are several ways that this force manifests itself: this force has been known to suck the penis of a sooner right into his sister. it has been known to shape the hair of a sooner into a mullet. it has been known to suck the teeth right out of a sooner's mouth, and turn the rest of them yellow. it has sucked numerous people into classes at the university of oklahoma, despite the fact that they had already completed 7th grade. it has also been known to spawn numerous tornadoes and ncaa sanctions. ou sucks trancends football. ou could win every football game by 1000 for the next 1000 years, and ou would still suck. only when ou ceases to exist will the ou sucks force no longer be a factor

the ou sucks force cannot be escaped. but it can be overcome, when it manifests itself in football. we have just been really shitty at doing this in the last four years

but now it is more important than ever. nobody in this country cares about oklahoma. when you think of oklahoma, what comes to mind?

1. tornadoes
2. inbreeding
3. roadside fruit stands
4. trailer parks
5. turquoise jewelry
6. bulk cigarette shops
7. charles thompson on the cover of si (that was his name right? i get all these stupid sooners mixed up)
8. brian bosworth
9. 3.2 beer
10. rednecks
11. jason white's hair line
12. ou sucks

which of those things would be classified as "good"? turquoise jewelry and roadside fruit stands are neutral at best. everything else is shit.

how embarassing is it to get worked by a team that represents a state known for the things listed above for the last 4 years?


we have the pissed off factor on our side. and we are not from oklahoma

this year is going to be different. it has to be. we have cedric benson, vince young, derrick johnson, rod wright, and a great o-line. they have a bunch of toothless dipshits who fucked their sisters and chew on a piece of hay while wearing overalls with nothing underneath

we are going to kick the fuck out of those GD Yankees from up North.
 
A Sooner fan, a Univ of Texas fan and a Oklahoma State fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The Oklahoma State fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Oklahoma State fan had to be carried away bleeding and weak with pain when the punishment was done.
The Texas fan was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Texas fan out crying like the little girly man he so clearly was (a la Hans und Franz). The Sooner fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the greatest team in the world, your alumni has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thanks, your most Royal highness," the Sooner fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks. "Tie the Texas fan to my back."


TEXAS SUCKS!!!
 
UT is still owned by Stoops and Co. Horns beat them once, big deal. Horns are the better team this year, IMO. If Mack loses this one, which there is a real chance he does, Horn fans are gonna be all over him again. I personally feel that McCoy is barely mediocre. If OU can pressure him, UT wont be able to move the ball one bit. But, UAB gave OU all they could handle, so who fu#$in knows....

xXx
 
"An OU fan and a UT fan were both in the Cotton Bowl restroom...after getting through w/ their business...the UT fan washed his hands and the OU fan didnt. the UT fan couldn't help but notice and said....yea over in Texas...they teach us to wash our hands....the OU fan said...yea well in Oklahoma...they teach us not to pee on our hands....and with that, he walked out. "


monkeypissr.gif
 
This makes me want to stand up and sing the Oklahoma school song:
 
SoonerBS said:
A Sooner fan, a Univ of Texas fan and a Oklahoma State fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The Oklahoma State fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Oklahoma State fan had to be carried away bleeding and weak with pain when the punishment was done.
The Texas fan was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Texas fan out crying like the little girly man he so clearly was (a la Hans und Franz). The Sooner fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the greatest team in the world, your alumni has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thanks, your most Royal highness," the Sooner fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks. "Tie the Texas fan to my back."


TEXAS SUCKS!!!

Absolutely epic...

violin
 
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for 6 days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel found him resting on the 7th day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downward through the clouds. "I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?", inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Southern Europe is gong to be poor, the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there, I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people" God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid, while this one will be very cold and covered with ice." The archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a beautiful land in the center of a large mass. "What is that one?" "Ah" , said God. "That is Oklahoma, the most glorious place on Earth. There's beautiful lakes, rivers, and streams, and prairie. The people from Oklahoma are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hard-working and high achieving and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them a super human football team which will be admired and feared by all who come across them." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there will always be balance." God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the loud-mouth morons I'm putting next to them. I will call it TEXAS"
 
A Sooner fan and a Longhorns fan are standing on the banks of the Red River yelling across at each other about which team is better. Suddenly, a Genie pops out of thin air and grants each fan one wish.
The Texas fan pipes out, "I'll go first." The genie agrees and allows the Texas fan to annouce his wish first. "I want to build a wall that is 300 feet high and 100 feet thick around the state of Texas to keep all those Sooner fans out." The genie agrees and POOF, a wall 100 feet high and 100 feet thick pops up around the entire state of Texas.
The genie then turns toward the Oklahoma fan and asks, "So what is your wish?" The Oklahoma fan points toward the giant wall and says, "Fill'er up."
 
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Horn fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Horn fans too.

Not knowing what a Hornfan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is, however, one exception. A little boy named Johnny has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks him why he has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Horn fan" he retorts.

"Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a proud Sooner fan!" boasts the little boy.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Johnny why he is a Sooner fan.

Well, my Dad and Mom are Sooner fans, so I'm a Sooner fan too, he responds.

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?"

Johnny smiles and says, "Then I'd be a Horn fan."
 
What has 18 teeth and 74 legs?















The OU fans in the funnel cake line at the Fair Grounds.


PS - Horn, that physics lesson was classic!
 
How do you know the Tooth Brush was invented in Oklahoma?








If it were invented in Texas, it would have been called a Teeth Brush.
 
redbearde said:
methinks denny doth protest too much...

There are nearly 200 Longhorn fans on this site and about 5 Sooner fans and you jump on the side of the Longhorns? And, after I had such high regards for you, too. :(
biggrinangel.gif
 
jimmyd said:
The Cubbies Suck.
OU/TX, RRS, the Greatest game of the yr.
Get yer money down, tune in, beer down, and enjoy.
No shit, the Cubs suck. I also like the Raiders who suck. And Nebraska has sucked lately too. Fuck, all my teams suck. Of course Okie St. really sucks too.
 
cubsker said:
No shit, the Cubs suck. I also like the Raiders who suck. And Nebraska has sucked lately too. Fuck, all my teams suck. Of course Okie St. really sucks too.

LMAO!
 
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