Joe Public
Gabibbo's Finest
Who's even in charge around here? And don't say BAR because I've now met him in person and the man may be able to twerk out one hell of a rendition of Megan Thee Stallion's "Hands on my knees shakin' ass on my thot shit," but I'm not buying that he's 'in charge' of anything except those pills he scored off Tyree the Uber driver.
Which I did not take, btw, and no I will not submit to a drug test because you're not the boss of me or when and where I pee.
Anyhoo, a few quick thoughts ...
It’s so funny how we always try not to overreact to Week 1 and then, inevitably, we have a play or two that we talk ourselves into the overreaction.
For me, this was Miami. Yes, I lost a game yesterday by 31.5 points. My thinking wasn’t so much that Buffalo wasn’t for real, but that Miami’s defense was back to mid-season form and could keep this to a FG game. Turns out, and I know this will be a shock to anyone who saw the score, their defense was NOT back to mid-season form.
Instead, Miami had a massive hangover from a huge win on the road in NE, Buffalo used their home opener loss as motivation and, well, the rest is history. I do think this result doesn’t happen again if they play ten more times, but Miami would also need to keep their starter in the game. More on that in a bit.
The Raiders: It’s tough to tell how well they’d have run the ball without Jacobs playing, but the Raiders struggled to get anything going on the ground. Thankfully they didn’t need to, but it’s something to note. Also, I can’t get into Gruden’s head, but if he truly has embraced the new NFL, the Raiders you saw yesterday may be the Raiders for the rest of the year.
The NFL rewards teams that throw, and maybe Gruden has figured that out despite how much he’s said he wants to be a running team. If so, I think this team is live in most games they play. I also think you can score on them, despite how much Pitt struggled yesterday.
Pittsburgh: I’ve thought this team was going to have a tough year and Ben admitted last week they’d need the defense to carry them at least for a while. Well, here we are. I don’t see how that offense gets miraculously better soon, and they keep losing guys. That game changed with Watt out of the lineup, Carr admitted that after the game as well. Maybe they're just an under look from week to week until further notice.
If Pitt/LV play again at full health, I don’t know if this is how it plays out again. But that’s on paper. In realty, Pittsburgh is a banged up 1-1 team that can probably beat bottom feeders, but probably not beat good teams without blocking a punt for a TD.
Buffalo: Is good.
The Giants: Are not.
The Jags: Are really not. Like super not. I looked at their schedule this AM, they may get a gift here in the next couple of weeks, but barring that, I don’t see a possible win on their schedule until December. No, I’m not kidding.
The Jets: Also suck. Now, do they suck to the tune of 11 points against Denver, probably not. But the talent just isn’t there yet. You have to find ways to go against this team as Wilson goes through his growing pains. And this week, I don't think Denver has enough consistent scoring to cover the number—but the Jets offense is so challenged, Denver may just get there by default. 20-3, 20-6?
Indy sucks. Now, Indy still could have beaten the Rams yesterday, but they still suck. Also, Carson Wentz has apparently heard me talking all kinds of shit about him because now he’s out there limping around, trying to fuck up the Birds’ draft next year. Fuck this guy to the sun and back. As for the team, I don’t like them. I also think losing the way they lost yesterday may have a hangover going into a pretty huge game at. Tenny. Those two teams very much look like they're going in opposite directions.
Tenny: Speaking of the Titans, I feel like we watched the end of their preseason and the start of their regular season in two halves of football yesterday. In the second half of that game, Henry was just not stoppable. Now, I don’t think Seattle’s defense is particularly all that good, but I’m not sure it matters. If Tenny can be balanced a bit, they’re going to do what they do, wear you down, and just let Henry run all over you in the second half to win the game. I will be very interested to see what they do to Indy this week.
Seattle: Talk about coming from ahead to choke. Again, Tenny played well, but Seattle was outscored 24-6 in the second half and OT of that game yesterday. At home. After leading by double digits at half. Tell me that doesn’t worry you.
I do think Russ is still good for some points, especially until the weather turns and/or his team starts dealing with too many injuries, but personally, I think both Seattle and Indy are not very good so it’s far more likely that their Week 1 game was two mediocre teams punching each other in the face (think: Minny/Cincy). And that what we saw from Seattle in the second half yesterday is what you can expect from them long-term this year,.
Arizona: This team is exactly what I hoped they’d be so far this year. Just fun to watch. Also, capable of scoring a million points. Just do that all year and I don’t really care how many games you win, Kyler Murray. One thing I will say, and Cub pointed this out like three plays into Minnesota’s first drive yesterday, holy shit can you run against this team. Minnesota’s OL was like five yards down the field and five yards wide from each other on every run play. It was nuts. That’s bad for Arizona. But good for their totals, because if you’re going to let other teams run for eight yards a carry, you’re going to have to score to keep pace.
Minny: Minny is one of those teams that has skill players, but also sucks. Really, they should be 2-0, but they’re 0-2 because their kicker is terrible. The only reason this game this week isn’t do-or-die for them is because their division is so bad. 0-2 is nothing in this division. 0-3 would be bad, but even then you’re probably still not out of it as Chicago and GB both have one loss and Minny hasn’t played a division game yet.
Chicago: I want to see who they start at QB this week. My guess is it’s Dalton if he’s healthy. Which is dumb, but I think they’re committed to dumb until they run out of it. Sadly, dumb is rarely a finite resource. Fields is going to struggle with this offense, and I’m not sure Nagy’s play-calling is going to help him. But they only way out is through and Chicago doesn’t seem to see that yet. Or maybe Dalton’s not healthy and they have no choice. I haven’t really done a lot of looking ahead to next week yet. But until they commit to Fields, I think you have to fade this team unless they’re playing someone like Cincy, who they really should have covered against.
Denver: Their schedule is just about as friendly as you could ask for, but here’s what jumps out at me about them, the under. I think, whether they say it or not, they don’t really expect that offense to generate 20+ points a game. So they know their defense has to be good. Well, they keep playing shitty teams so that’s worked out great for them. Unfortunately, the line catches up with them on that this week, and the schedule starts to do the same the week after that. But this week, you may just tease ‘em, get it under a TD and let them win 20-10. Also, as I said, I think you have to look at the under.
Philly: Sigh. This regression was probably always going to happen and honestly, I wouldn’t even be mad about that loss yesterday had they not carted Brandon Graham off the field. We also may have an injury on the OL, and if that starts to go bad, look out. But I think SF is good, so I don’t really mind holding them under 20 and still losing. I do think Dallas beats us this weekend, though, much as I hate to say it.
Dallas: This defense is starting to come together a bit. It’s not there yet, and you could argue the Chargers got screwed out of enough points to win yesterday, but when Dallas needed to move the ball, they did and they won that game more than LA lost it. I still don’t think they’re great, but you don’t need to be to win this division. And if they stay healthy, right now, they look better than Washington to me, which would make them the best in the division.
San Fran: Nothing matters about this game for them yesterday other than injuries. That’s it. And that they suffered more injuries is a problem. I still like this team, but they have to find a way to get through games in one piece or it’s all going to start coming apart on them.
Both teams from LA: I mean, it’s not ‘no notes’ per se, but they are about who we think they are right? The Rams found a way to win on the road, the Chargers found a way to lose at home. They’re both probably going to be around 10 or 11 wins, maybe 12 so aren’t they about who we think they are?
Also, aren't the Bengals who we thought they were?
Atlanta: So, speaking of notes, and overreacting to Week 1. Atlanta sucks. And maybe yesterday was their SB. At least for the first half of the year,. HOWEVER, Atlanta moved the ball on TB. I was on the Bucs and honestly, I feel very lucky that ticket cashed because Atlanta’s offense was ‘much’ better than I thought it would be on the road against what is supposed to be a good defense. That said, given the way they lost, especially after the effort they put in. I could see them falling flat this week. They played really well, and they still lost by like 20. No way that's not deflating. Especially now that they go against a Giants team that desperately needs a win and will have extra time to prepare.
Tampa: Is good. But their defense, so far, is leaky. That said, it’s been two games now where Brady has basically been able to score when he wants. It was harder in that second half yesterday, but I don’t think anybody ever feared that team might lose outright. They look a little like KC did last year. They score enough to win, then stop caring, even if that's in the second quarter.
Kansas City: Honestly, again, I think they are who we think they are. Great offense, will let you score 20 on 'em because they plan to score 38.
Baltimore: Huge win last night, tough to see how this week isn't a huge let down. At Detroit? They may be good enough to walk in there and not try and win, but to cover? Pass.
Cleveland: I think yesterday was a hangover game from the Chiefs loss. Or at least that’s what I’d like to believe. They didn’t look great, but Houston sucks, and Cleveland covered the teaser which is all that matters to me. Which is to say, let’s not get ahead of ourselves on the Browns. Suddenly this team is good enough to cover double digits? What are we basing that on? I don’t see it. Not yet.
Houston: If Tyrod is really out, this team is going to rival Jax for worst team in the league. This dude Mills or whatever yesterday … woof. I mean, if their front office cared about winning I’d suggest getting Cam on the phone. Or somebody. But I’m not sure they do. So there’s that.
New Orleans: Obviously they’re not as good as week one and not as bad as yesterday. I figure they’re like a better Minnesota. Or a Seattle with a better defense. I want them against bad teams. Against good defenses though, I’m going to pass.
New England: Speaking thereof. They look like a 10 win team. Now, one of these days Mac is going to look like a rookie and through three INTs. Maybe. But until then, their defense is good enough for me. I’ll play ‘em in spots like yesterday without hesitation.
One last thing overall, QBs. Miami loses Tua, Wentz may be down. Tyrod seems to be down. I haven't looked at the injury situation yet, but next week may get a bit squirrelly with backups getting starts. There was a moment yesterday when Carr went down and, without Mariota on the bench because of injury, our collective group bet almost took a collective spontaneous dump on the Westgate carpet. Just something to look at and consider, not just for sides, but for totals.
Those are my quickest thoughts. Now to read the thread and have Marlo tell me I’m wrong about the Vikings, and BAR try to convince me that midget—I mean, little person—he hired to hang out with us all weekend was Hunt.
Who, I will tell you, he/she kept getting carded and I saw their ID. That little person was, in fact, NOT Hunt. So there.
Which I did not take, btw, and no I will not submit to a drug test because you're not the boss of me or when and where I pee.
Anyhoo, a few quick thoughts ...
It’s so funny how we always try not to overreact to Week 1 and then, inevitably, we have a play or two that we talk ourselves into the overreaction.
For me, this was Miami. Yes, I lost a game yesterday by 31.5 points. My thinking wasn’t so much that Buffalo wasn’t for real, but that Miami’s defense was back to mid-season form and could keep this to a FG game. Turns out, and I know this will be a shock to anyone who saw the score, their defense was NOT back to mid-season form.
Instead, Miami had a massive hangover from a huge win on the road in NE, Buffalo used their home opener loss as motivation and, well, the rest is history. I do think this result doesn’t happen again if they play ten more times, but Miami would also need to keep their starter in the game. More on that in a bit.
The Raiders: It’s tough to tell how well they’d have run the ball without Jacobs playing, but the Raiders struggled to get anything going on the ground. Thankfully they didn’t need to, but it’s something to note. Also, I can’t get into Gruden’s head, but if he truly has embraced the new NFL, the Raiders you saw yesterday may be the Raiders for the rest of the year.
The NFL rewards teams that throw, and maybe Gruden has figured that out despite how much he’s said he wants to be a running team. If so, I think this team is live in most games they play. I also think you can score on them, despite how much Pitt struggled yesterday.
Pittsburgh: I’ve thought this team was going to have a tough year and Ben admitted last week they’d need the defense to carry them at least for a while. Well, here we are. I don’t see how that offense gets miraculously better soon, and they keep losing guys. That game changed with Watt out of the lineup, Carr admitted that after the game as well. Maybe they're just an under look from week to week until further notice.
If Pitt/LV play again at full health, I don’t know if this is how it plays out again. But that’s on paper. In realty, Pittsburgh is a banged up 1-1 team that can probably beat bottom feeders, but probably not beat good teams without blocking a punt for a TD.
Buffalo: Is good.
The Giants: Are not.
The Jags: Are really not. Like super not. I looked at their schedule this AM, they may get a gift here in the next couple of weeks, but barring that, I don’t see a possible win on their schedule until December. No, I’m not kidding.
The Jets: Also suck. Now, do they suck to the tune of 11 points against Denver, probably not. But the talent just isn’t there yet. You have to find ways to go against this team as Wilson goes through his growing pains. And this week, I don't think Denver has enough consistent scoring to cover the number—but the Jets offense is so challenged, Denver may just get there by default. 20-3, 20-6?
Indy sucks. Now, Indy still could have beaten the Rams yesterday, but they still suck. Also, Carson Wentz has apparently heard me talking all kinds of shit about him because now he’s out there limping around, trying to fuck up the Birds’ draft next year. Fuck this guy to the sun and back. As for the team, I don’t like them. I also think losing the way they lost yesterday may have a hangover going into a pretty huge game at. Tenny. Those two teams very much look like they're going in opposite directions.
Tenny: Speaking of the Titans, I feel like we watched the end of their preseason and the start of their regular season in two halves of football yesterday. In the second half of that game, Henry was just not stoppable. Now, I don’t think Seattle’s defense is particularly all that good, but I’m not sure it matters. If Tenny can be balanced a bit, they’re going to do what they do, wear you down, and just let Henry run all over you in the second half to win the game. I will be very interested to see what they do to Indy this week.
Seattle: Talk about coming from ahead to choke. Again, Tenny played well, but Seattle was outscored 24-6 in the second half and OT of that game yesterday. At home. After leading by double digits at half. Tell me that doesn’t worry you.
I do think Russ is still good for some points, especially until the weather turns and/or his team starts dealing with too many injuries, but personally, I think both Seattle and Indy are not very good so it’s far more likely that their Week 1 game was two mediocre teams punching each other in the face (think: Minny/Cincy). And that what we saw from Seattle in the second half yesterday is what you can expect from them long-term this year,.
Arizona: This team is exactly what I hoped they’d be so far this year. Just fun to watch. Also, capable of scoring a million points. Just do that all year and I don’t really care how many games you win, Kyler Murray. One thing I will say, and Cub pointed this out like three plays into Minnesota’s first drive yesterday, holy shit can you run against this team. Minnesota’s OL was like five yards down the field and five yards wide from each other on every run play. It was nuts. That’s bad for Arizona. But good for their totals, because if you’re going to let other teams run for eight yards a carry, you’re going to have to score to keep pace.
Minny: Minny is one of those teams that has skill players, but also sucks. Really, they should be 2-0, but they’re 0-2 because their kicker is terrible. The only reason this game this week isn’t do-or-die for them is because their division is so bad. 0-2 is nothing in this division. 0-3 would be bad, but even then you’re probably still not out of it as Chicago and GB both have one loss and Minny hasn’t played a division game yet.
Chicago: I want to see who they start at QB this week. My guess is it’s Dalton if he’s healthy. Which is dumb, but I think they’re committed to dumb until they run out of it. Sadly, dumb is rarely a finite resource. Fields is going to struggle with this offense, and I’m not sure Nagy’s play-calling is going to help him. But they only way out is through and Chicago doesn’t seem to see that yet. Or maybe Dalton’s not healthy and they have no choice. I haven’t really done a lot of looking ahead to next week yet. But until they commit to Fields, I think you have to fade this team unless they’re playing someone like Cincy, who they really should have covered against.
Denver: Their schedule is just about as friendly as you could ask for, but here’s what jumps out at me about them, the under. I think, whether they say it or not, they don’t really expect that offense to generate 20+ points a game. So they know their defense has to be good. Well, they keep playing shitty teams so that’s worked out great for them. Unfortunately, the line catches up with them on that this week, and the schedule starts to do the same the week after that. But this week, you may just tease ‘em, get it under a TD and let them win 20-10. Also, as I said, I think you have to look at the under.
Philly: Sigh. This regression was probably always going to happen and honestly, I wouldn’t even be mad about that loss yesterday had they not carted Brandon Graham off the field. We also may have an injury on the OL, and if that starts to go bad, look out. But I think SF is good, so I don’t really mind holding them under 20 and still losing. I do think Dallas beats us this weekend, though, much as I hate to say it.
Dallas: This defense is starting to come together a bit. It’s not there yet, and you could argue the Chargers got screwed out of enough points to win yesterday, but when Dallas needed to move the ball, they did and they won that game more than LA lost it. I still don’t think they’re great, but you don’t need to be to win this division. And if they stay healthy, right now, they look better than Washington to me, which would make them the best in the division.
San Fran: Nothing matters about this game for them yesterday other than injuries. That’s it. And that they suffered more injuries is a problem. I still like this team, but they have to find a way to get through games in one piece or it’s all going to start coming apart on them.
Both teams from LA: I mean, it’s not ‘no notes’ per se, but they are about who we think they are right? The Rams found a way to win on the road, the Chargers found a way to lose at home. They’re both probably going to be around 10 or 11 wins, maybe 12 so aren’t they about who we think they are?
Also, aren't the Bengals who we thought they were?
Atlanta: So, speaking of notes, and overreacting to Week 1. Atlanta sucks. And maybe yesterday was their SB. At least for the first half of the year,. HOWEVER, Atlanta moved the ball on TB. I was on the Bucs and honestly, I feel very lucky that ticket cashed because Atlanta’s offense was ‘much’ better than I thought it would be on the road against what is supposed to be a good defense. That said, given the way they lost, especially after the effort they put in. I could see them falling flat this week. They played really well, and they still lost by like 20. No way that's not deflating. Especially now that they go against a Giants team that desperately needs a win and will have extra time to prepare.
Tampa: Is good. But their defense, so far, is leaky. That said, it’s been two games now where Brady has basically been able to score when he wants. It was harder in that second half yesterday, but I don’t think anybody ever feared that team might lose outright. They look a little like KC did last year. They score enough to win, then stop caring, even if that's in the second quarter.
Kansas City: Honestly, again, I think they are who we think they are. Great offense, will let you score 20 on 'em because they plan to score 38.
Baltimore: Huge win last night, tough to see how this week isn't a huge let down. At Detroit? They may be good enough to walk in there and not try and win, but to cover? Pass.
Cleveland: I think yesterday was a hangover game from the Chiefs loss. Or at least that’s what I’d like to believe. They didn’t look great, but Houston sucks, and Cleveland covered the teaser which is all that matters to me. Which is to say, let’s not get ahead of ourselves on the Browns. Suddenly this team is good enough to cover double digits? What are we basing that on? I don’t see it. Not yet.
Houston: If Tyrod is really out, this team is going to rival Jax for worst team in the league. This dude Mills or whatever yesterday … woof. I mean, if their front office cared about winning I’d suggest getting Cam on the phone. Or somebody. But I’m not sure they do. So there’s that.
New Orleans: Obviously they’re not as good as week one and not as bad as yesterday. I figure they’re like a better Minnesota. Or a Seattle with a better defense. I want them against bad teams. Against good defenses though, I’m going to pass.
New England: Speaking thereof. They look like a 10 win team. Now, one of these days Mac is going to look like a rookie and through three INTs. Maybe. But until then, their defense is good enough for me. I’ll play ‘em in spots like yesterday without hesitation.
One last thing overall, QBs. Miami loses Tua, Wentz may be down. Tyrod seems to be down. I haven't looked at the injury situation yet, but next week may get a bit squirrelly with backups getting starts. There was a moment yesterday when Carr went down and, without Mariota on the bench because of injury, our collective group bet almost took a collective spontaneous dump on the Westgate carpet. Just something to look at and consider, not just for sides, but for totals.
Those are my quickest thoughts. Now to read the thread and have Marlo tell me I’m wrong about the Vikings, and BAR try to convince me that midget—I mean, little person—he hired to hang out with us all weekend was Hunt.
Who, I will tell you, he/she kept getting carded and I saw their ID. That little person was, in fact, NOT Hunt. So there.
