Titan65
Pretty much a regular
Oh my.
So I posted on covers.com as Titan65. The large majority of you may not like me. You probably don't even know who I am.
I am okay with that. My ego is humble and broken, like a drunk 17 year old girl's hymen. Ah, I miss those days. I'd kill to be a 17 year old guy again, just for that sentence alone.
Anyways, last week I bet on the fucking St. Louis Rams +9 or whatever the fuck it was. I don't have time to remember shit. So my record breaks down as such:
covers.com plays: 0-1
ctg.com plays: 0-0
St. Louis Rams plays: 0-1
ill-advised plays on the St. Louis Rams: 0-1
St. Louis Rams plays while The Giant gives me a verbal handjob over the Internet: 0-1
Fading the Philadelphia Eagles plays: 0-1
As you can see, my record is not off to a stellar start.
Not unless you count my hunches.
hunch plays that I didn't play but should have but since I was distracted by the glorious handjob by The Giant (his hands are smooth. I mean picture marble, but in human hand form, with fingers and knuckles and contours. And by no means are they tiny hands, but they certainly aren't man-bear hands. More like how I would picture Tom Cruise or Mandy Moore's hands being. Yeah, somewhere along that size. Like just enough to stroke the cock but also tickle the balls occasionally with the ring finger. Yeah.): 2-0 (Carolina + the points and Atlanta + the points)
My philosopy: I bet only a single game on Sundays and generally try to make a play on the MNF American plays. I avoid Sunday Night American Football for fear of the dreaded chase factor. Never bet with your heart, as it is a fickle creature with shaved loins and bad intentions.
The ways I am leaning (all Matchbook):
-Minny +1: Home opener, hobbled Colts, and I really like Minnesota's uniforms. Not since the Broncos unveiled their Super Bowl-winning duds in the 1997 season have I been more attracted to a uniform. Put Sarah Palin in one, and I might consider fucking her. I think she's grotesque, btw. If she were a democrat, naturally I'd feel different.
-Carolina -3: Did you see how Matt Forte ran last week vs. the Colts? The guy won't last half the season. He throws his body around like an angry little cunt. The guy will have more difficult sledding against a healthier Panthers defense. But what concerns me is what Phil Rivers did to the Cats pass defense last week. I don't think Kyle Orton can repeat that feat by any means as his arm is made of hair ties and popsicle sticks, but you never know. I think the Bears have a chance to be a solid 10-6 and push Green Bay for the division.
-Buffalo +5.5 : Okay, semi-young team that needs to prove itself early on the road? Yes, the Bills are. A balanced team that has a grinding defense and a grating offense? Why yes, the Bills are. Marcus FUCKING Stroud playing his old team? Why yes, the Bills are. I know the tackle who was shot isn't a starter, but he isn't the only thing about the Jaguars' offensive line that is full of holes (too soon?).
-New England +1: Yeah, I'm going there. Veteran teams find a way to rally around the newbie. This week is the week. Matt Leinart's college back-up shouldn't screw shit up too much, but That guy who should have stayed retired a Green Bay Packer will. Easy-peasy, lemon-squeezey.
I'm leaning hard towards Buffalo. Like so hard I want to fuck it.
I shall let you know when I render a final decision. But if you don't hear from me, make mine Buffalo +5.5.
Also, Ohio State wins in a shocker. Fuck Beanie Wells.
So I posted on covers.com as Titan65. The large majority of you may not like me. You probably don't even know who I am.
I am okay with that. My ego is humble and broken, like a drunk 17 year old girl's hymen. Ah, I miss those days. I'd kill to be a 17 year old guy again, just for that sentence alone.
Anyways, last week I bet on the fucking St. Louis Rams +9 or whatever the fuck it was. I don't have time to remember shit. So my record breaks down as such:
covers.com plays: 0-1
ctg.com plays: 0-0
St. Louis Rams plays: 0-1
ill-advised plays on the St. Louis Rams: 0-1
St. Louis Rams plays while The Giant gives me a verbal handjob over the Internet: 0-1
Fading the Philadelphia Eagles plays: 0-1
As you can see, my record is not off to a stellar start.
Not unless you count my hunches.
hunch plays that I didn't play but should have but since I was distracted by the glorious handjob by The Giant (his hands are smooth. I mean picture marble, but in human hand form, with fingers and knuckles and contours. And by no means are they tiny hands, but they certainly aren't man-bear hands. More like how I would picture Tom Cruise or Mandy Moore's hands being. Yeah, somewhere along that size. Like just enough to stroke the cock but also tickle the balls occasionally with the ring finger. Yeah.): 2-0 (Carolina + the points and Atlanta + the points)
My philosopy: I bet only a single game on Sundays and generally try to make a play on the MNF American plays. I avoid Sunday Night American Football for fear of the dreaded chase factor. Never bet with your heart, as it is a fickle creature with shaved loins and bad intentions.
The ways I am leaning (all Matchbook):
-Minny +1: Home opener, hobbled Colts, and I really like Minnesota's uniforms. Not since the Broncos unveiled their Super Bowl-winning duds in the 1997 season have I been more attracted to a uniform. Put Sarah Palin in one, and I might consider fucking her. I think she's grotesque, btw. If she were a democrat, naturally I'd feel different.
-Carolina -3: Did you see how Matt Forte ran last week vs. the Colts? The guy won't last half the season. He throws his body around like an angry little cunt. The guy will have more difficult sledding against a healthier Panthers defense. But what concerns me is what Phil Rivers did to the Cats pass defense last week. I don't think Kyle Orton can repeat that feat by any means as his arm is made of hair ties and popsicle sticks, but you never know. I think the Bears have a chance to be a solid 10-6 and push Green Bay for the division.
-Buffalo +5.5 : Okay, semi-young team that needs to prove itself early on the road? Yes, the Bills are. A balanced team that has a grinding defense and a grating offense? Why yes, the Bills are. Marcus FUCKING Stroud playing his old team? Why yes, the Bills are. I know the tackle who was shot isn't a starter, but he isn't the only thing about the Jaguars' offensive line that is full of holes (too soon?).
-New England +1: Yeah, I'm going there. Veteran teams find a way to rally around the newbie. This week is the week. Matt Leinart's college back-up shouldn't screw shit up too much, but That guy who should have stayed retired a Green Bay Packer will. Easy-peasy, lemon-squeezey.
I'm leaning hard towards Buffalo. Like so hard I want to fuck it.
I shall let you know when I render a final decision. But if you don't hear from me, make mine Buffalo +5.5.
Also, Ohio State wins in a shocker. Fuck Beanie Wells.
